Monday, May 21, 2007

Rebel Girl Enters Witness Relocation Program!

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It's true!

Rebel Girl is entering the summer-long witness relocation program that is offered all departing department chairs upon their resignations. This nifty option was negotiated with the last contract and Reb couldn't be happier! Thank you Faculty Association! With her home email account disconnected from the continuous feed from college, sans cell phone, and under deep cover with a new identity and location, Reb can hit the snooze button all summer.

Taking over Reb's posting duties for the summer will be the legendary Mona Lisa Quesadilla, adjunct instructor extraordinaire, an unreconstructed double major in multicultural and women's studies circa 1986 who currently teaches interdisciplinary courses that span poetry, food preparation, and self-defense. She is also a local performance artist whose oeuvre is dominated by tortillas and accordians.

We welcome Mona to the DISSENT blogpen and wish Rebel Girl well as she enjoys her well-deserved break from all things departmental.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

What about these commencement pics?

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THIS IS A SHOT I took on Friday of a flower worn by a classified manager.

I do a fair amount of photography, and there's one thing I noticed long ago: if you take enough pics of an event and examine them closely, you start to notice odd and interesting things.

It's especially true for video. If you slow that stuff down — you've gotta do that when you edit — boy, you start to see little things about people that they naturally assumed nobody would ever notice.

WELL, ON FRIDAY, I took about 200 pics of the two district commencements. I looked at them pretty closely. That's when I noticed something.

—Well, maybe. I'll leave that for you to judge.




They're looking right at me, right? I must've pissed 'em off somehow.

Here's a further pic, which is interesting in perhaps a different way:

Check out the young man way over to the left. Creepy, right? This shot reminds me of the famous scene in Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train in which the head of each person in a crowd of tennis spectators moves back and forth with the ball—all heads except for Robert Walker's, of course.

OK, here's my favorite "find." When Chancellor Mathur spoke during Saddleback's Commencement, I took a quick photograph of the scoreboard. I didn't notice anything unusual at the time. But look! What does it say?

It's so easy to miss stuff, if you're not paying attention!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Irvine Valley College 2007 Commencement

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IVC's commencement went well, I think. Near as I can tell, students loved it.

It was brief, which worked out well for several reasons, not the least of which being the sub-academic Motivational Claptrap served up by some speakers. Still, there were no howlers, no pratfalls, and for once Raghu didn't utter his "three fingers" bromide.

I came late and missed the invocation, evidently given by Bush Appointee and noted Spanophile Thomas A. Fuentes. No doubt, it was memorable. (If you heard it, tell us about it!)

Here sit the South Orange County Community College District Board of Trustees, et al. (Fuentes is off-camera.)

EARNEST, EFFECTIVELY DELIVERED CODSWALLOP:

AS SEEN ON TV: Keynote speaker John Spencer Ellis.

Apparently oblivious of (or indifferent to?) logic or science, Dr. Ellis (he has a doctorate in education, just like the Chancellor) declared that there "are no coincidences" and there "is no randomness." One should, he said, set about to establish "self-efficacy"—evidenty a condition beyond mere efficacy.

He offered "10 words" that are more important, he said, than all other words put together: please, thank you, I love you, how may I help?

Sure enough, they add up to 10. (They're not really ten words, though. Four utterances, perhaps?)

Ellis urged students to find their voice, and "their bliss," too. He was particularly determined that they find their bliss.

The handsome fellow ended with, "Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life."

For more of John's wisdom (and for an opportunity to spend a great deal of money), go to John Spencer Ellis Enterprises. There, one learns that, according to the New York Post, "John is a combination of Tony Robbins & Jack Lalanne."

(Our Rebel Girl was on the "commencement speaker" committee, where, armed with carefully written proposals, she urged its membership to consider other candidates, including prominent writers and editors. Nope. Too boring, it seems.)


Student speaker Alexandra Shaygan, eschewing motivational twaddle, charmed; Trustee Don Wagner, eschewing decorum, scowled, albeit intermittently. He scowled consistently when he looked my way! What's up, Don? (But at least we agree on the Claptrap, don't we Don? I just know you're cringing when you hear that stuff about "bliss"!) (See Raghu Successorizes.)

HAPPY GRADUATES:






THE CHANCELLOR: NO NATTERING NABOB OF NEGATIVISM HE:

Chancellor Raghu Mathur told his "yacht" story. Evidently inspired by his extensive reading list—it runs the gamut from A to B—the Chancellor advised that "you become what you practice most." Were he an educated man, Mathur would realize that Aristotle gave that advice 2400 years ago. It's a tad familiar in academic circles.

Mathur's message: "always do your best." Why? Because of the "new global economy," he said.

Aristotle gave a different answer.

A retiring colleague is honored.

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY:






A GOOD VIBE AT OUR LITTLE COLLEGE:

IVC President Glenn Roquemore and Academic Senate President Wendy Gabriella


One odd factoid that emerged during today's commencements was the increasing dominance of women among the community college studentry. (Soon, it seems, 2/3 of Saddleback's students will be female!)

At IVC today, women seemed to dominate the task of documenting the event.

“Don’t go!”—the Saddleback College 2007 Commencement

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I WENT TO the Saddleback College 2007 Commencement this morning. Initial gloom gave way to sunshine and smiles. It was a pleasant event, especially for the students.


The SC football field and stand offered a beautiful setting: lots of green grass, lots of trees in the background, and lots of red— the graduates' gowns and the elliptical track.

Board President David Lang got up to quote from Chicken Soup of the Soul, one of his favorite books, evidently. He told a story about somebody named I CAN'T who gets buried. "I can't is no longer with us," he read.

The theme to Romper Room played in my head.

Then Chancellor Raghu P. Mathur got up to tell that old saw about the guy who builds his friend a yacht, but he does it on the cheap so he can pocket some dough. When he finishes the build, the friend hands him the keys to the yacht. “It is my gift to you.”


Now, what did we learn from this? Not sure. Maybe: "Do your best," 'cause otherwise you'll get stuck with a shitty yacht.

The “commencement address” was given by one Nico Melendez, the Orange County Municipal Dogcatcher. Well, no, he’s the “Western Field Director, Transportation Security Administration.” Nobody bothered to explain what that is, which was probably wise. He didn’t say anything about transportation or security. He did say that he wasn’t gonna give his prepared speech, cuz he tried it on his wife, and she said it was a snoozer. So, instead, the fellow explained what a shitty student he was (he went to Saddleback College), and how he didn’t go to a university after graduating. Instead, he joined the Navy.


The moral of the story? Some graduates, he said, will now go to a university. “Congratuations,” he said. And some won’t. “Congratulations,” he said again. “You’re just taking a different road.”

Well, at least he was brief. SC Prez Rich McCullough managed to make a joke about Director Melendez—something about asking him to take off his shoes.

Near as I could tell, the audience thought Melendez was great, 'cause he was WAY brief.

ASG Prez Rebecca Cunningham described how Saddleback College saved her from directionlessness. Even at Saddleback, she said, for the first two years, she was a lousy student. Then she took a self-esteem course, and that “changed my life.” Now, she knows that she “can do anything.”

Nevertheless, Cunningham is a decent speaker. Better than the transportation guy.


Next came Ruth McCoy, who is 80 years old and was wearing a “cap and gown” for the fourth time. I’d say she was the highlight of the commencement ceremony, what with her story about going to college (must’ve been around 1945), quitting to get married, and then returning to college in the 60s for a bachelors degree. She described her time at Saddleback, how her fellow students accepted her as a peer and had the good sense not to call her “grandma.”


Don’t ever think, she said at the end, that your education is over! It was a nice moment.


Carmen and the SC Wind Ensemble next provided a rousing version of the “Star Spangled Banner.” They were accompanied by the Concert Choir, and they sounded pretty good, too.

After presentation of the “Professors of the Year,” Academic Senate President Bob C came up and gave an effective little speech. He described an address that Bob Hope gave at a commencement many years ago. Everyone at the college expected Hope to be funny, but, instead, he was very serious. Then, at the end of his speech, the Bobster said that he wanted to give graduates one small piece of advice before they entered the big world out there. He leaned forward and said,

“Don’t go!”


Well, that was about it. Next came the reading of the names, and I was on my way. I do hope you like the photographs.







P.S.:

I arrived a few minutes late for commencement. Tonight, a friend told me that some sort of "protest" against the religious invocation (usually given at the start of the ceremony) was planned. If that occurred, I missed it.

P.P.S.:

5/22: There was indeed a protest. This is the banner that was displayed during the commencement invocation:

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Situation normal, all ducked up

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SANS WAYNE, THINGS ARE LOOKING UP!

AS YOU KNOW, facilities for the School of Humanities and Languages at IVC have long been conspicuously excrementitious (aka "way shitty"). Here at Dissent we have occasionally endeavored to reveal that shittitude, and, in so doing, we have often found it advisable to present the PHILOSOPHY ROOM (A405) in particular. Were one to construct a lowerarchy of A405ular shittitudinality, one would surely start with the floor, an expanse of linoleum more scuffed than which can hardly be conceived.


Imagine my surprise, therefore, when, on Monday, students in my philosophy classes commented on the loveliness of A405's floor!

I looked down and—zut alors!—the floor was clean! Spotless!

It even sparkled!

On behalf of my students, Fumiko's students, and I-don't-know-who-else's-dang-students, I'd like to thank the F&M crew for doing such a fine job. Don't know why they did it, but they did, and we thank them.

Vielen Danks!

DUCKED UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION

AT ONE POINT TODAY, Brenda alerted me to the sudden and precipitous duckification of the planter between the Library and SSC. I took my camera out there and found that, indeed, the northern planterama was totally ducked up:

I tried to get close to the peevish beasts, but they quacked & shat & threatened to fly away, so I backed off.

On the way back to my office, I espied a ruminative long-eared, short-tailed lagomorph:

He sat very still for this portrait, and for that I thank him. Viel Spass!

COMING SOON: THE HUMANITIES BUILDING!

I happened to be in the President's Conference Room in old A100 today, and I noticed all that crap they have hanging on the walls. Most of it was the usual stuff, including an architect's rendering of the "Performing Arts Center":

—Somebody must've been hopped-up on stink-weed when they rendered this, cuz it doesn't look anything like the lurid new edifice out in the field, the one they're calling the "Performing Arts Center."

But I noticed another, a much older, architectural rendering. Check it out:

—That's right. It's the long fabled HUMANITIES BUILDING. It is legendary. I had heard about it twenty years ago, when I was first hired, and, once in a while, rumors would fly that the damn thing would finally be built!

And why not? After all, H&L practically carries the whole dang college! I mean, without H&L, we could fit everything in a quonset hut!

I don't get it. Those Chem and Math clowns got a new building a decade ago. And now those Fine Arts knuckleheads are gonna get theirs. Meanwhile, the H&L crew is stuck teaching in friggin' Hooverville!

So help me out here. What does it mean that this particular painting hangs upon the Presidential Conference Room wall? Has it always hung there?

Perhaps it has no meaning at all. That, of course, would be very IVC. —CW

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...