Thursday, December 14, 2006

Anywhere he wants to

A MONTH OR TWO AGO, someone told me that IVC head of maintenance WAYNE WARD had decided to install "waterless" urinals in the B100 men's restroom. My friend said that there was some kind of screw-up, and so the taller of the two urinals was out of commission and covered in plastic most hideous.

A couple of weeks ago, a colleague noted, in disgust, that the B100 restroom smells of urine. "Yeah, I know," I said. "It's those 'waterless' jobs. The big one is busted; the little one stinks."

Today, I noticed that both urinals are kaput. Both are covered in plastic. Looks like sh*t. Smells like urine.

AS I WAS DRIVING around campus this morning, another friend called me over and told me to check out the furthermost maintenance yard. "That Wayne thinks he can f*ckin' park anywhere he wants to, I guess," said the friend.

Well, I did find Wayne's Camaro. It was parked where it shouldn't oughta be. Way to go, Wayne.


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Chestnuts Roasting


The most dreadful semester wound down in fine style in the A-200 faculty lounge on Wednesday when two instructors, inspired by what a little goodwill might do (Yes, Virginia, yes!) created a party from nearly nothing: a few trays of cookies baked by a generous faculty mom in Whittier; a cardboard box o'coffee bought at the local neighborhood mega-monster corporate coffee-opoly; a tablecloth improvised from the OC Weekly holiday edition; chairs stolen from various empty classrooms (the faculty lounge sports, as you know, only four chairs); and jazzy holiday tunes wafting from a nearby office.

Friends, it doesn't take much to make folks happy. Yes, George Bailey, it's a wonderful life.

Chris and Jan from the Health Center (a Zen-like zone of peace and tranquility in the Student Services Center) took the prize for traveling the most distance to attend the spontaneous cookie soiree. A-100 was well-represented by Kathy, Gee and Al Tello. The adjunct pool sent representatives from Fine Arts, English and Spanish. Beth from the Reading Lab showed up, and the usual suspects from A-200 were in attendance, ambassadors from across the disciplines and programs. The dapper and charming Bob, Dave F's personal hero, also put in appearance. We reminisced. We told jokes. We roasted chestnuts. We were visited by the ghosts of administrators past. We asked advice of each other. We gave advice. The spirit of holiday camaraderie --- all, amazingly, without boozy nog --- nestled itself into our collective bosom, and an atmosphere of cuddly and jingly and warm descended on the straw-strewn manger, er, lounge.

And then the college president came by to wish everyone well and to testify, somewhat defensively, that he had indeed signed the requisition form for lounge furniture that was, of course, nowhere in evidence. "Maybe in the new year," he added, hopefully. "When you get back."

I hope so. If not, Rebel Girl has a suggestion. This is what you do when you need furniture moved: you call your friends with pick-up trucks and promise them beer and pizza upon delivery.

But enough grousing. 'Tis the season to be jolly. And we were yesterday, weary but jolly. Did I mention that the soiree began at 2:00 and wound down after 6:00? Can we get FLEX credit? Can we do the same thing next month, maybe a Welcome, Furniture Party?

~RG

Good news: we're not Stockton


In this morning’s Stockton Record: Stockton ranks dead last in literacy:
You might be the only person reading this story. Or anything else, for that matter.

For the second year in a row, Stockton ranks last in a study of literacy in the nation's largest 70 cities.

Seattle ranks first overall. El Paso, Texas, finished second to last in the study, published this week by Central Connecticut State University.

…"It breaks my heart," said Michelle Lonero, a teacher at Rio Calaveras Elementary School….

…"It is disconcerting," Mayor Ed Chavez said. "There's no way to sugar-coat it."

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...