In the letter, Chief Glen reminds us that the college is drafting a plan to prepare for an outbreak of the Swine Flu. He offers some prevention advice from the CDC—cover your mouth, wash your hands, stay home if you’re ill—which, he explains, is displayed on posters all over campus.
Then comes the fun part:
we are issuing individual bottles of ‘hand sanitizer’ to each employee as a reminder to wash your hands.I checked my mailbox and, sure enough, it contained a bottle of hand sanitizer.
It would be ridiculous to suppose that one can combat Swine Flu with bottles of hand sanitizer. But it is not ridiculous, I suppose, to offer these tokens as a reminder.
I guess.
I asked one of our scientists if the hand sanitizer works. “Yes,” she said, “but you’ve pretty much got to keep using it every time you touch anything.”
Oh.
Yeah, but it’s a reminder, a reminder to keep washing your hands. As I understand it, you’ve pretty much gotta keep doing that all day to do any good.
Hand-washing. I bet it would be more effective to wear a button that said, “Screw Swine Flu.”
Why always the silly gestures? I don't mean IVC and Swine Flu. I mean us, always, all the time.
“We cut 'em in half with a machine gun and give 'em a Band-Aid.”