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"What if," asked one reader, "you crossed John Williams with that rat bastard Dick Cheney?"
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That could get ugly, what with the clash of John's celebrated boyishness and Dick Cheney's renowned slow-burn evilosity. Here goes:
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I call it, "Dick Wheney." Or maybe "John Chilliams." DickJohn Wheney?
Speakin' of people with a history of dangerous drivin', what about Laura Bush, the First Lady? (See Fatal Car Accident.) I do believe she's the most admired woman in America, and why not! I mean, she leaves the driving to others nowadays, so she's safe as milk.
Plus, she's a librarian.
One reader asks: "What if you crossed Trustee Nancy Padberg with our beloved Laura? I bet that would make a pretty picture!"
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Don't think so. Check it out:
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Good Lord! Good Lord Almighty!
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OK. You've gotta admit that Ann Coulter and Tom Fuentes have a way of stirrin' up hornets nests. I mean, they're practically twins, what with his talk of "whores" and her talk of liberal "treason." Naturally, therefore, many readers have requested a crossing of Orange County's own Tom Fuentes with the Dark Side's Ann Coulter:
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I give you--Ann Fuentes! --Or maybe Tommy-Ann Fuentes-Coulter, although I don't think Ann would sit still for the hyphenated name. But whadoo I know.
P.S.:
Earlier today (Friday), "Patrick" requested a Sherry Miller-White/Teddi Lorch hybrid. That's pretty weird, but whatever.
Sherry, as I'm sure you know, was the President of the faculty union during its most controversial phase (circa 96-7).
At the time, Teddi was on the Board of Trustees. She resigned amid rumors (mentioned in Dissent at the time) that she coveted the Human Resources job. How inappropriate.
Guess what?
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Well, re the graphic, I didn't have much to work with, just an old black and white photo of Sherry (circa 1996) and what appears to be Teddi's High School graduation photo. I put 'em together and got this:
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Well, that ain't a bit funny. She's just attractive, not funny.
I know. Here's Teddi Miller-White (Sherry Lorch?) as she appeared on the TV show "Room 666" in an alternative universe, circa 1968:
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Remember? That's principal Seymour Kaufman standing behind our girl.
Jeez, I feel old.