Monday, January 13, 2014

FLEX WEEK: a lawyer will teach us to be a community, GIFs will convey Aristotle, and laughter will become unhinged


The Clueless One knows his January symbolism
     1-13-14
     Oh my God, it’s flex week at the South Orange County Community College District!
     One thing—among others—I’ll say for Chancellor Gary Poertner: he knew enough to downsize the Chancellor’s Opening Session to a mere once-a-year affair, in August. So there’ll be no district PR extravaganza this week. No Elvis impersonators, no ambitious political wannabes. No glowering Nancy. No parade of oldsters getting pins.
     But that won't stop the two college Presidents from putting on their shows, complete with skits, inspirational speeches, and show tunes.
     IVC’s Glenn Roquemore has put together the usual: something entirely devoid of merit but that will look good on paper for the Accreds:

"Jaunary"?
     You can find the above (if, that is, you know the secret handshake) at the IVC website: Faculty Professional Development Week (schedule).
     According to the flex schedule, “Following a brief welcome, Glenn Roquemore…will provide an update on campus activities and accomplishments.” It's sure to be snooze-worthy. And bull-shitty.
     The “Keynote speaker” will be Barbara Ginsberg, Esq.
     Lawyer Ginsberg, we're told, will present “methods to bolster our knowledge.” Which methods do you suppose she or they have in mind? —None, I’m sure. These people write like, well, my students.
     She’ll also present “methods…to provide practical application on how to rebuild trust and support civility in a collegial campus environment.”
     That sentence gets a D-. Good grief.
     And just who is this Babs Ginsberg, and who is she to advise any of us on rebuilding trust and inspiring civility at the college?
     —She’s nobody, that’s who. You’ll recall that the district loves to employ attorneys, and one of its favorite firms is Atkinson, Andelson, Loya, Ruud & Romo. They’ve got 85 attorneys. Ginsberg is one of ‘em:

Barbara J. Ginsberg
Seems nice
Barbara J. Ginsberg
Senior Associate
Practice Areas:
School Districts
Community College Districts
Labor & Employment Law

     Barbara J. Ginsberg is a senior associate in the Cerritos and Irvine offices. She represents school and community college districts in all aspects of labor and employment matters and education law. She is experienced in the areas of: employee discipline; statutory leaves; investigating charges of harassment and discrimination; drafting board policies; PERB, EEOC, OCR and OAH matters, litigation, and negotiations. She regularly provides training to Districts. 

Prior to joining AALRR, Ms. Ginsberg spent seven years as a legal advocate for public and private employee unions and eight years as an advocate for school and community college districts. She additionally served as Deputy City Attorney for the City of Victorville.
     Leave it to Glenn to suppose that an expert on "employment law" is just the person to come to us to teach community. Next, he'll invite Fullerton cops to teach classroom etiquette. Or Cesar Millan to teach the proper care and feeding of classified.
     I gather from perusing the schedule that the rest of the week comprises such things as: encouraging faculty to teach “distance ed,” an update on the budget and the college’s “mission and goals,” yet another overview of plans to build ATEP, a dazzling presentation on “regulatory changes affecting pre-enrollment activities,” how to use “cloud” computing tools, etc.
     An apparent highlight is a presentation by the district's Bob Bramucci, who will ask,
[H]ave you stopped to think about why students will spend hours transfixed on a video game when they can’t pay attention in class for more than a few minutes? What is it about the gaming world that captures their attention and can we harness it to help our students succeed? Please join us for the fun and games!
     I've gotta say: this doesn't sound promising. No doubt he'll advise keeping my Aristotle unit down to 30 seconds or less.
     The ever-popular Brammuci will again be on hand on Friday for a
One day retreat for full and part-time faculty and staff of the School of Guidance and Counseling. Presentations will include Dr. Bramucci on “Creative Destruction as applies to Counseling”, CPR/AED certification, and stress relief techniques.
     Also on hand for this event will be yet another guy, “The Laughter Yoga Guy.”
     I don’t know who Laughing Boy is, so I looked him up. According to Wikipedia:
     ...Laughter yoga is based on the belief that voluntary laughter provides the same physiological and psychological benefits as spontaneous laughter. Laughter yoga is done in groups, with eye contact and playfulness between participants. Forced laughter soon turns into real and contagious laughter. Laughter yoga does not involve humor or comedy.
. . .
     Laughter yoga was made popular as an exercise routine developed by Indian physician Madan Kataria, who writes about the practice in his 2002 book Laugh For No Reason.
     In the mid-1990s, laughter yoga was practiced in the early mornings in open parks, primarily by groups of older people. Later, a more formal version was created and popularized as "Laughter Clubs". Kataria's first Laughter Yoga Club began on 13 March 1995 in Mumbai, with five people in a local public park.[citation needed] The concept rapidly spread worldwide, and as of 2011, there were more than 8,000 Laughter Clubs in 65 countries.[citation needed] Each group is run by a "Laugh Captain" and operates independently.
     Perfect.
     Are we to assume that the counselors are on board with this "laughter yoga"? To paraphrase a certain censorship-resisting writer of the 90s: at a meeting like the one described above, no reasonable person could resist the urge to go postal.

     Meanwhile, at Saddleback College, Flex week commences with a “panel”:
Excellence in Teaching and Learning: Faculty Mentor Program Panel
     To gain greater insights into how faculty can help faculty with best teaching practices, please join us for the panel discussion on the Saddleback College Faculty Mentor Program. Experienced faculty mentors will share what they have learned from their experiences as mentors, including some key tips on how to improve classroom instruction and design. This panel will discuss the benefits of participating in the mentoring program and how you might get involved either as a faculty mentor or mentee for Spring 2014.
     Well, that sounds pretty good, I guess.
     The panel is followed by a concert or sorts: “Joey Sellers and Jazz Studies students perform jazz and American standards and demonstrate the difference between “free” and structured improvisation.”
     I might actually enjoy something like that.
     On the other hand, at noon on Tuesday, there’ll be a presentation on the “active shooter.”
     Right.
     It will include a “general discussion of distressed, disruptive or threatening students, procedures and protocol.” That could be useful. At IVC, when you encounter threatening students, you’re basically SOL.
     Later in the day, there’ll be a presentation on “Responding to Distressed, Disruptive, or Threatening Students: A Faculty Guide.”
     Thursday brings the “Presidents’ Faculty Breakfast”:
     Come to enjoy a hearty breakfast and learn what’s in store for the new semester. College President Dr. Tod A. Burnett and Academic Senate President Dan Walsh will provide a comprehensive update and discuss key issues impacting the college over the coming year. All full time and part-time faculty are invited, and encouraged to attend this breakfast!
     I’ve gotta say: Saddleback’s Flex Week looks way better than ours at IVC. Go to the website (no secret handshake necessary) to see what I mean. It's subtle, but there are signs of intelligence throughout. Not like IVC. At IVC, intelligence has been scared off, stamped out, choked, starved, bashed upside the head and left to die.
* * *
     At IVC, no one wants to do anything anymore. People and activities of quality are not recognized. Shit is endlessly elevated and celebrated. Lies and distortions are routinely promulgated. And so when the call goes out for Flex Week activities, there’s virtual silence.
     Under the leadership of Captain Dunderhead, we bob lifelessly in the deep doo-doo of our shallow non-valley, where we apprehend our future perfectly. More of the same, as far as the eye can see.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

60 slides filled with text about how to be civil. Included reminders about saying please and thank you. The speaker was completely unaware of her audience.

Anonymous said...

It was awful. How much was she paid?

Anonymous said...

In the beginning, as always, there was hope that this would actually be good, helpful smart, relevant - then it quickly became clear it was not. You could feel the audience wince, deflate - then see their faces just so to ride it out. Geez. We deserve better.

Anonymous said...

I hope there was a slide with GR's & LF's ugly faces illustrating how uncivil and unethical this hell hole has become.

Anonymous said...

How about the strange take on "game theory"? Someone needs to tell that guy that "game theory" does not mean video games. Please.

Roy Bauer said...

Yeah, I noticed that too. Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

Yes, that Atkinson, Andelson, Loya, Ruud & Romo (AALRR) is a clearinghouse of attorneys in Cerritos. It seems like an internship of some kind because the lawyers are always so green.

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...