Denizens of IVC received this "advisory" today from IVC Campus Police.
     It's the cops' response to recent thefts.
     Here's what they've got: slogans. Namely,

"If you see something, say something." 

"Take it, lock it, or hide it."

     That last one reminds me of the NHTSA's remarkable "Click it or ticket!" slogan, part of their ongoing "Mottos for Morons" campaign.
     Such is the advice offered by the campus gendarmes. I bet they studied their "Law Enforcement Handbook of Stupid Sayings" all morning to come up with that stuff.
     Gosh, that inspires me to come up with similarly helpful advice:

"Trouble with your lock? I be over with my Glock."     

"Bein' hectored? Get a German Shepherd!"      

"When we spot a jerk, we generally go berserk."      

"See a thief? Call the chief!"      

"Victim of an unsub? Well, we got self-protection clubs!"

          "When a student runs amok, we ride our armored truck!" 
       
          "Trouble in you class? We'll bring tear gas."

          "Always be prudent, frisk every student!