Today seems as good a day as any to inaugurate a new occasional contribution from Red, occasional reader of the Register. Okay, I almost never read it, much less on any particular occasion. I read it waiting to get my car smogged. I read it in the dermatologist's office. Today, at lunch with my dining companion of 26 years, I opened the thing to the Letters and was captivated by the header "Prayer changes things." Again, not so much captivated as, well, gripped with a combination of anticipatory dread and the affirmation of every assumption I hold about the readers of and writers to the editor of the county's most dreadful and affirming newspaper. Okay, I'm almost there. Sorry. Here's the thing: Is the writer of this letter, one Leonard Musgrave of Orange, actually putting us on? Is he out-Registering the Register and pulling Red's limb? Is his rhetorical strategy one of cleverly ironic putting on one-upmanship? Or is he (you should forgive the phrase) for real? And why has he been watching MSNBC at all? Prayer changes things, indeed. And let's Get the US out of the United Nations and Keep Christ in Christmas. The voice suggests at first the usual 50's-era white OC Republican Protestant American idiom and tropery until that last sentence, which Red heard as funny and ironic and mean — but then again I hear everything as funny and ironic and mean! I leave it to you, dear Dissentarians. See below, unedited. Me, I am praying for another season of HBO's excellent The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency.
Prayer changes things
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Amen!