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OK, so I was over at the Health and Wellness Center yesterday, getting one of those flu shots. While I was there, I noticed a little basket over on the counter. It was full of shiny cellophane stuff. I checked it out.
Why, of course! The shiny things were condoms! So I took one. I mean, I'm a taxpayer, am I not?
So I got to looking at it, and it got me thinking: would it really be so terrible to suddenly find one of these little packages in your stuff?
I can't see why. Maybe somebody's sending you the message, "Be careful." That's not so bad, is it? Or maybe they're saying, "You, sir, are the sort of fellow who has sex."
Well, OK. I can deal with that perception. Why get peeved about it?
I mean, what if you opened your office door in the morning, and then, voila! There, on the floor, lookin' pretty sharp and staring right up at you is a condom, just like the one above that I snagged from the H&W Center.
Are you gonna freak out? What for?
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OK, suppose you wander down to the coffee cart, and then, Boing!—there sits a condom next to the Vanilla Nut! Why on earth would you run screamin' into the night about it? You'd have to be some kind of dope!
Or what if you walked through the Administration Building and then walked up to where the Board Agenda is posted on that little clip. You go lookin' for it, and Zing!—somebody's stuck a condom up there instead!
Would that mess up your day? Really?
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I can think of one CONDOM SURPRISE that might weird me out. If I'm looking in the mirror and I see that somebody's pasted a condom to my forehead, then, OK, that's not right.
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