Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Would it really be so terrible?


OK, so I was over at the Health and Wellness Center yesterday, getting one of those flu shots. While I was there, I noticed a little basket over on the counter. It was full of shiny cellophane stuff. I checked it out.

Why, of course! The shiny things were condoms! So I took one. I mean, I'm a taxpayer, am I not?

So I got to looking at it, and it got me thinking: would it really be so terrible to suddenly find one of these little packages in your stuff?

I can't see why. Maybe somebody's sending you the message, "Be careful." That's not so bad, is it? Or maybe they're saying, "You, sir, are the sort of fellow who has sex."

Well, OK. I can deal with that perception. Why get peeved about it?

I mean, what if you opened your office door in the morning, and then, voila! There, on the floor, lookin' pretty sharp and staring right up at you is a condom, just like the one above that I snagged from the H&W Center.

Are you gonna freak out? What for?


OK, suppose you wander down to the coffee cart, and then, Boing!—there sits a condom next to the Vanilla Nut! Why on earth would you run screamin' into the night about it? You'd have to be some kind of dope!

Or what if you walked through the Administration Building and then walked up to where the Board Agenda is posted on that little clip. You go lookin' for it, and Zing!—somebody's stuck a condom up there instead!

Would that mess up your day? Really?


I can think of one CONDOM SURPRISE that might weird me out. If I'm looking in the mirror and I see that somebody's pasted a condom to my forehead, then, OK, that's not right.

But I wouldn't get all pissed off about it either.


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7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I wanted that bit to go on and on, Chunk, 50 ways to leave your rubber. Reminds me of the time Jerry stood Pez on the arm rest during the piano concert, and Elaine laughed so hard that she had to leave the concert hall. I digress. Like you, I've been thinking, what's the big deal? Guys put a condom in another guy's locker. Nothing for the boss to sweat. The boss is busy. Isn't the boss busy? Or is he only half as busy as he used to be before he eliminated the night cleaning crew? That was alot of work watching those guys. Anyway, I have a question. How come the cleaning guys don't have keys? Nice party, btw.

Anonymous said...

You're very condom conscious, Chunk.

Anonymous said...

I think he wants the cleaning crew to go away, so he can hire his own cleaning crew at minimun wage???

Anonymous said...

CHUNK, WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE WAYNSTER YOURSELF, WHY HE DOESN'T WANT TO GIVE KEYS TO THE CLEANING CREW... EVERYBODY ELSE HAS KEYS.

Anonymous said...

"The cleaning crew?" Where? We have cleaning crews at IVC?

Anonymous said...

They work graveyard at saddleback college. Thats were the cleaning crew went....

Anonymous said...

Now their may be some of you who think that Wayne Ward is a nice guy but I can tell you he has people fooled. If you put him and his workers under him in the same room and listene to what is said you yourself will see exactly just how he is. From what I hear and have seen S&W would be better off not to comment because he has made enemies in the F@M department and the truth about him will be out. I hope the union does something to this man or I think someone will go to the state.

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...