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JUST GOT BACK from the meeting of the Board of Trustees of the South Orange County Community College District, and I'm slaphappy!
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Trustee Don "Bull" Wagner was in rare form, peeviosity-wise. He smacked Saddleback College Dean Kevin O'Connor around for a while. Then he dropped him, but he came back later and smacked him around some more. Then he grabbed Vice Chancellor Bob King by his hair and slapped him silly. (The audience cheered that one.) Finally, the brute practically grabbed Chancellor Mathur by his left Goo, suggesting, at one point, that the poor fellow had offered a "stupid" argument!
"With all due respect, that's STUPID!" said Don.
I'm not making this up! (OK, there wasn't any actual slappage.)
Even the delightfully Transylvanian Vice Chancellor Andreea Serban got roughed up a bit, and she hadn't even done anything!
And I'm not even mentioning what Don did to the PE guy! And to Trustee Nancy Padberg!
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BUT THAT WASN'T EVEN THE BEST PART! The best part was Raghu P. Mathur's attempt to sneak through that stinky Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) that he asked for a few months ago but didn't get, owing to some then-fresh atrocity.
You see, back on the 19th, during the big DOCKET meeting--that's the meeting where shared governance groups get to learn what will be placed on the next board meeting agenda--there was no mention of a COLA for the Gooster. It wasn't there at all! But, somehow, between the 19th and the 30th, the wily fellow snuck that item into a section of the agenda concerning academic employees.
Plus, on this abracadabra item, he used his full name (Raghubansh), something sufficiently exotic as to fail to suggest to readers that it had any connection whatsoever to the Raghu P. Mathur whom we all know and love!
Now THAT'S a nice detail. He's the Napoleon of Slime! (When Nancy P tagged Raghu and Co. on this "unfamiliar name" gambit, Williams and Fuentes virtually called her a racist for "making fun" of Raghu's "Indian" name! Ridiculous! said our Nancy. Maybe you don't like us foreigners! said Tom Sluggo, who sported a delightful pink "stand by our Tan" button on his lapel.)
Well, anyway, luckily, some trustees (Padberg, Milchiker) seemed to be clued in, and so the whole greasy hairball unravelled. (N.B.: at IVC, mixing metaphors is a competitive sport.) Within minutes, the board was like a barrel full of nasty little monkeys and weasels, squealin' and scratchin' and hissin'--and wigglin' that barrel all over the room, causing regular people to scatter like roaches.
Like I said, I'll eventually write up a full report tomorrow. Now, like everybody else who attended that meeting, I've got to get a beer or something.
(Boys, for a good time, go to Stand By Our Tan. Rebel Girl sent me the address, and I'm so grateful!)
(Also: Irvine sucks scum, and hopes you don't notice)