Wednesday, June 21, 2006

We get requests

We at Dissent the BLOG get asked some weird-assed questions from time to time. Lots of questions have to do with our love of Adobe Photoshop. Go figure.

For instance, one reader asks: Hey, DtB, what if you crossed Trustee Don Wagner with, say, Huell Howser of PBS? (See Huell does IVC.)


That's a pretty weird question, but we like weird. So here goes:


That turned out pretty well. I suggest that Don take up weight training.

Another reader asks: Um, what if you crossed Trustee Tom Fuentes with that old Latina singer, Joan Baez? She was a babe.


Well, we hate to break it to you, but Joan ain't Latina, as far as we know. But Tom is. So here goes:


That wasn't nearly as successful. Still, our mongrel does suggest that Tom might do well to go for that softer female 60s warbler look. We'd like to hear 'im sing some of Joan's songs, too. One of her Spanish songs, maybe.

Another reader asks: I've got a real good one for you guys. How about if you crossed Chancellor Raghu Mathur with, say, that Christian guy, Pat Robertson?


We figure, since both of 'em are such hilarious guys, this might just work. Here's what we came up with:


Wow. Looks to us more like a cross between Robertson and a weasel. Sorry about that.

Finally, one guy made this odd request: Aren't you always yappin' about your cat, Sunny? Well, what if you crossed Sunny with, say, the President of the Board of Trustees, Dave Lang?


Weird, man. Still, we've got to admit that, lately, Lang has got his claws out. He gets real hissy, too. Funny thing is, Sunny's never got hers out, and I've never seen her hiss!

But we'll give it the old college try:


If you've got any requests, let us know.

¡Don Aztlán!

Last night, Gustavo "¡Ask a Mexican!" Arellano was the guest on Stephen Colbert's show (The mock O'Reilly Colbert Report), and that went well, I think. OC Republicans will be especially pleased:
Colbert: You speak very good Spanish!

Arellano: I know, isn’t it surprising?

Colbert: Were you born here, in the United States?

Arellano: I was born in Orange County, California.

Colbert: So, where’d you learn your Spanish?

Arellano: In Mexico—Orange County, Mexico.

Colbert: Oh, really? Because—it’s almost Mexico at this point.

Arellano: Yeah. Well, it’s already Mexico really….
.....
Arellano: Orange County is the Mexican hating capital of America. The reason why we're so obsessed with Mexicans right now is because Orange County--your buddies--the Republican delegation, they sent...James Sensenbrenner into a room, they beat him senseless, and they said, "You're gonna obsess about Mexicans now, you're gonna obsess about illegal immigration, and you're gonna make this into a national issue"...the hate that's been in Orange County for the past decade or so is now out in the United States, and so, it's what we think in Orange County--now you get to think. [See Can You Say...'anti-Mexican'?]

To see the entire interview, go to

Colbert interviews Arellano

(This link was provided by Matt Coker over on his blog: Clockwork Orange.)

One of the recurring characters on Colbert's show--I haven 't seen many episodes--is some guy named "Esteban Colberto," who, evidently, is an illegal alien (aka "immigrant") threatening to take Colbert's job! Funny.

But guess what? This Esteban guy is the spitting image of our own Don "Don't Ask a Mexican" Wagner! Check it out:


Pretty cool, eh? Well, to drive the point home, I've stuck Don's head on Esteban's body:


It's uncanny ¿Que no?

Evidently, those gals are called "chicas," "chicas calientes."

Don and chicas. Very cool! All he needs now is his Colt--and his Tejana!

La Raza Cósmica!

[DtB wishes to acknowledge its blatant exploitation of G. Arellano's "¡ASK A MEXICAN! glossary." See OC Weekly.]

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...