OK, now it's raining fireballs—and N-bombs from the lips of OC rat bastard Mike Carona

.....This just in: Fireball streaks across the sky:

6:02 pm: A fireball reportedly streaked across the northwestern sky Tuesday morning and was likely visible in Orange County, San Bernardino and Riverside counties, and even as far away as Las Vegas, according to the San Bernardino County Fire Department.
.....About a dozen people called the department beginning at about 10:45 a.m., said dispatch supervisor Tom Barnes. Some said they thought the fireball hit the ground, but fire officials sent to investigate found nothing.
.....“They described it as appearing in the northwest portion of the sky, and heading straight down, yellowish green, and it had pieces trailing behind it,” Barnes said....

—My theory is that this FIREBALL is a warning shot from the Lord, and it's directed at OC Republicans. It's the only thing that makes sense.

IRVINE VALLEY COLLEGE'S "HOMETOWN HERO," MIKE CARONA, THROWING THE N-BOMB ON SECRETLY-RECORDED TAPE.
.....This just in at the OC Reg: Carona uses the n-word in secret recordings:

.....Defense attorneys for former sheriff Michael S. Carona want to keep his federal jury from hearing portions of secretly recorded conversations where Carona makes sexually and racially insensitive comments.
.....The tapes, between Carona and former political confidante Donald Haidl, reveal Carona casually using the n-word, dropping several f-bombs, talking about his sexual conquests and making sexual remarks about other women.
…
.....Carona made the statements last year during three conversations with former ally and Assistant Sheriff Donald Haidl.
…
.....In one excerpt, Carona contends that he does not believe he has done anything wrong, but that he enjoyed his time as sheriff.
....."You're right, I've had a life that's been absolutely blessed," he tells Haidl. "I've met millionaires, billionaires, I've traveled on personal airplanes, and I never shook anybody down for any s***, so. … Not that I haven't, you know, drank some great wine, and had great booze and ... got some, you know, phenomenal (sex) along the way…"….

PICTURED:

• An artist's conception of, um, a freakin' fireball
• Trustee Dave "Quisling" Lang getting his photo op with Sheriff "N-bomb" Carona at the IVC 9-11 ceremony. Dave betrayed his faculty supporters for something—probably for a promise of help from his GOP pals on the board to become OC Treasurer. Dave better hope the Lord wasn't paying attention. I do hope there is a "Lord" and that he was fucking paying attention.
• Trustee Dave "Quisling" Lang, Chancellor Raghu Mathur, Trustee Don Wagner, Trustee John Williams, and Trustee Tom Fuentes—Republicans all—taking in the unmitigated piety and heroism of then-Sheriff Mike Carona at the 9-11 ceremony at IVC in 2007. In truth, it was already abundantly clear what kind of guy Carona was. But that didn't matter to this crowd, who sang his praises, as per usual. You shoulda heard Tom Fuentes talkin' up Mike that day. I kept thinking, "why don't they get a room?" Listen, if there were a Lord, and if the Fellow were just, these people woulda just burst into flames, but that didn't happen, and so there ain't. Not that I want anybody bursting into flames, but I hear the Lord tends to get Medieval. It's not what I would do. I'd just make 'em eat shit for a few years. Leave it at that. Hell, months would be fine. Goddamit I'd accept one day of shit-eating. I'm such a goddam softy, it's ridiculous.

WE’RE, LIKE, AVERAGE, HAPPINESSWISE. OK, I know this is old news, ‘cause I already saw it on 60 Minutes, but, today, Reuters offered this: Denmark world's happiest country, survey finds.

.....According to the survey, the U.S. is 16th, which is nothing to write home about if you ask me.
.....The top rated countries are

1. Denmark
2. Puerto Rico
3. Colombia
4. Northern Ireland
5. Iceland
6. Switzerland
7. Ireland
8. the Netherlands
9. Canada
10. Sweden

.....According to Reuters, “The survey, first done in 1981, has kept to two simple questions: [1] ‘Taking all things together, would you say you are very happy, rather happy, not very happy, not at all happy?’ And, [2] ‘All things considered, how satisfied are you with your life as a whole these days?’”

I don't get it

.  

  .....Gosh, it’s been a tough week for one member of our Board of Trustees—namely, fading OC rightwing guru and Prince of Darkness Tom Fuentes. That’s mostly ‘cause it’s been a tough week for some of his mentees.
.....MIKE CARONA. Take pious family man Mike Carona. You shoulda heard Fuentes’ introduction of the Sheriff at IVC’s 9-11 ceremony back in September. I covered the event for Dissent, thinking, “How come all these people are so respectful of this manifest rat bastard? What’s the matter with ‘em?”
.....I know, these are silly questions. Somehow, I never seem to stop asking them. I must have a screw loose, a hole in my head. Something.
.....Not long after the ceremony, the excrement hit the fan, what with federal indictments, etc.
.....Carona and crew (Schroeder, et al.) did what they always do: they nakedly pursued their interests, the public interest be damned. So, natch, Carona did not step down but instead took a leave only to return to work this week. He’s getting paid, but, essentially, he’s leaving the actual work of Sheriff to an underling.
.....How very righteous. Er, not. But he’s still got that flag pinned to his shirt. He still goes around praying and rolling his eyes.
.....That’s when the LA Times called for a recall (Recall Mike Carona) of the fellow, arguing

Carona has every right to his day in court, to fight the charges that he traded access to his office and power for gifts and money. But he and his department never would have reached this day, never would have come under scrutiny in the first place, had he run his department with an ethical hand. Instead, from his first day in office, Carona has been selling out the title of sheriff, providing supporters and others close to him with extraordinary favors. Just one example: hiring two top political supporters as his chief assistants even though they were patently unqualified for the jobs, so much so that Carona needed special dispensation to make the hires legal.

.....Um, those two guys are now in jail. Eventually, if there is any justice (silly me), Carona will join them there. But his unsavory (incompetent, reckless, hypocritical, etc.) character was manifest long before the indictments.
.....That didn’t prevent Fuentes from praising him to the heavens four months ago.
.....I just don’t get it. How come the people who go out of their way to stand for piety, rectitude, and patriotism are so often the least pious, the least righteous, the least other-regarding? Why are they so often the ones who cause the biggest headaches for those who actually do the good works that need doing? Tell me that!

.....CHRISS STREET. Yet another Pal o’ Fuentes is OC Treasurer Chriss Street, yet another manifestly ratular Rat Bastard. Fuentes advised him during his successful run for that office.
.....According to today’s Times (Public agencies withdraw from O.C. investment pool), things are going from bad to worse for Street:

Four of the seven public agencies that voluntarily participate in Orange County's investment portfolio have withdrawn almost all their cash in recent months amid concerns over Treasurer Chriss Street, and others are reviewing whether to keep their money in the pool, according to public finance managers. …Since becoming treasurer more than a year ago, Street has been beset by investigations into his private business dealings before entering office and questions about his handling of county business. …Street came into the treasurer's office as the hand-picked successor to now-Supervisor John Moorlach, whose management of the office for 12 years after the bankruptcy was largely admired. But Street ran into trouble even before he was elected. Questions emerged about whether he engaged in self-dealing while overseeing the affairs of a bankrupt trucking firm, which has since become the subject of a federal investigation. Local prosecutors are examining whether he sought to steer contracts for county work to friends and business associates….

.....Let’s face it: those close to Street must’ve been pretty clear about what kind of guy he was/is before he took office (in fact, the unpleasant facts about Street’s “business dealings” were reported long before the election).
.....But that was OK with them. How come?
.....Again, I don’t get it. The people I know—admittedly, many of them are progressives, atheists, skeptics and the like—would never dream of doing the nasty and corrupt things that Fuentes’ friends do as a matter of course. Nor would they support someone who would consider doing these things.
.....How come, when the Fuentes crowd lay claim to righteousness whilst dismissing my crowd as wicked and benighted, nobody calls ‘em on it? I be stupefied.
.....It’s like the President. He’s obviously a loutish and base kinda guy. So what’s with all the endless respectfulness? How come Brian Williams doesn’t just say, “Well, here he is again, embarrassing us with his cluelessness and naked cynicism and dishonesty. Um, he was in Israel today pretending to give a shit. It’ll be a great day when someone half-way intelligent and decent takes over the Presidency.”
.....So what’s with Brian? It’s as if it would be less-than-objective to state an obvious fact. Is Brian less-than-objective when he takes a side in the shape-of-earth “controversy” (it’s round)? Don’t think so. So why is it different noting the obvious facts re Bush?
.....How does that work exactly?
.....Sometimes, I think it goes like this: if one makes a great show of one’s “faith” and patriotism—not by actually doing anything, but mostly by wearing little flags, pledging at big flags, praying in hushed halls, engaging in eye-rolling whilst facing the heavens—one is ipso facto a soldier of the Right and the Good.
.....Even if, notoriously, one has a very hard time living up to the “values” of official rightness/goodness (that’s Fuentes all over), the fact that one loudly aligns oneself with respectable religion (Christianity or Judaism, not some silly “sect”) and a kind of unreflective and uncritical love of country common among Kohlbergian ten-year-olds, then, no matter how far one strays from the path of virtue, one is fundamentally one of the good guys, and no amount of intelligence and decency achieved by a “secularist” or “humanist” can ever compete with those credentials.
.....It’s a kind of Moronic Logic for a Moron Age. If that’s the thinking, then I may as well go back into that cave over there.

.....JEFF NIELSEN. Another member of Fuentes’ team of pious rat bastards is Jeff Nielsen, who was again in the news this week.
.....Yesterday, the OC Weekly (BOY, OH, BOY!) reported that

Jeffrey Ray Nielsen, the once-cocky Orange County political activist who espoused conservative principles while molesting underaged boys, will enter a pre-prison program in the coming weeks with one more headache: One of his victims has filed a civil lawsuit seeking $1.35 million. …The plaintiff, whom we'll call John Doe, filed the suit in late December in Fairfax County, Virginia. It was there, in the city of Falls Church, in 1994 and 1995, that Nielsen used his positions as an aide to Congressman Dana Rohrabacher and a church youth counselor to rent a room from a Virginia family with a 13-year-old son, Doe. The family had no clue that Nielsen, a Bible thumper with friends in high places, was a clever sexual predator interested in sleeping with middle-school and high-school boys. …The Weekly first reported Doe's tale in September 2006. Nielsen—who, at the time, faced criminal charges for repeatedly molesting a Westminster High School freshman—angrily denied any pedophile conduct. Indeed, the man who keeps stuffed animals on his bed called the allegations "delusional" and the Weekly part of a liberal conspiracy to frame him because of his friendship with Rohrabacher and Scott Baugh, chairman of the Orange County Republican Party. Last March, a Newport Beach jury deadlocked after Nielsen's lawyer, Paul S. Meyer, savagely attacked the teenage victim on the witness stand while Nielsen posed as a generous, caring Christian with lofty ideals about mentoring troubled youth. …In December, after four years of angry denials, Nielsen finally admitted to molesting both youngsters. In exchange, he won a reduced prison sentence of three years, though he will have to register as a sex offender for the remainder of his life….

.....RAGHU MATHUR. This reminds me of a moment during the Chancellor’s Opening Session on Wednesday. The Chancellor hates Rich McCullough and is responsible for M’s retirement as President of Saddleback College (Rich is slated to retire in June).
.....But that fact didn’t prevent Mathur from singing Rich’s praises on Wednesday and handing him a big plaque. Listening to the Chancellor, you’d swear that Rich had no greater friend in this world than Raghu P. Mathur.
.....Now, see, I’d never do that. I’d be thinking, “I hold this fellow in low regard, cuz he refused to be a team player [i.e., helping me to screw my enemies, micromanage the shit outa things, etc.], and so, I’m willing, I guess, to brush up against the endless tributes to him, but I sure as hell ain’t gonna join in them, cuz that would be seriously dishonest and cynical and fundamentally corrupt. It would be a kind of gross hypocrisy, and I ain’t goin’ there, nope.”
.....But that’s just me. And my friends. You know: all those nasty atheists and progressives and godless America-bashers, the "liberals" who do all the work in this goddam district whilst enduring endless attack from Mathur (“faculty leaders” seek to “control” the district), Fuentes (over-paid faculty work a “36-hour week”), and all their equally corrupt and appalling rightwing, church-going, flag-wearing friends.
.....I don’t get it.

Did I miss an email? Special board meeting. Humanities and Languages/Fine Arts party

WOO! Remember that big hit by that awful band, “The Knack,” back in the late 70s? It was called “My Sharona.” (Don't recall? Go to YouTube's My Sharona.)

Blecch!

Well, today, Rebel Girl was feeling feverish or something, and so, while I tried to grade midterms, she kept doing that du-du-du-du DU DU DU DU DU du DU du-du-du-du DU DU—and then she’d sing out “My My My—Mike Carona! WOO!"

Well, OK, that’s pretty friggin’ hilarious, I've gotta admit. Woo!

On the other hand, that tune has been stuck in my head ever since, and it's driving me nuts. 'Cept for the “Mike Carona” part. Love that.

OK, so I need to get this thing out of my system. I dug up the lyrics and I replaced the “Sharona” parts with “Mike Carona”:

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some Mike Carona?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the Mike Carona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind.
My my my i yi woo. M M M Mike Carona!

Good Lord! The song is even worse than I remembered it!


SPECIAL BOARD MEETING. As the Reb and I were leaving campus today, we noticed something hanging from the wall in the Administration Building. Nope, not a pumpkin—an agenda. So we checked it out. Turns out the Board of Trustees is having one of their special meetings tomorrow (Wednesday) at the Hyatt (I think) on La Paz. I do believe that’s where they always go for their super-duper extra-special-secret meetings. I think they have them catered and stuff, you know, with little weenies and cookies and punch.

Unless I read it wrong (we just glanced at it), the only thing on the agenda is “evaluation of Chancellor.” It starts at 2:00 and grinds on until 7:00. Can you imagine?!


STRESS FOR GOO. Meanwhile, my sources tell me that the Chancellor has been showing signs of stress. He’s been saying and doing more than his usual share of stupid things. I can’t go into it.

Well, one thing he did is stick his nose in a dean hire here at IVC. Naturally, that’s none of his business. What kind of Chancellor fools around with interim dean hires? Is he daft?

The popular and respected Dean of Humanities and Languages/Fine Arts just left us for a job in Long Beach, which is closer to her home. And so we need an interim dean until her replacement is hired.


Right away, everybody said, “What about Dan Rivas?” He’s universally respected, he’s got lots of experience, and he’d be perfect! (I understand that Dan is willing to do it—but only until June.)

But Mathur hates Dan, cuz, back about nine years ago, Dan in fact was the dean of Humanities and Languages, and, at one point, Mathur ordered him to change faculty evaluations for certain faculty critics—you know, make ‘em negative instead of positive—‘cause Mathur's a rat bastard and that's what rat bastards do. Well, Dan flat wouldn’t do it. Thus it was that Dan ceased all deanery. He’s been teaching ESL and French here at IVC ever since. And he's happy, too.


But now: not only did Mathur try to blackball Dan re this temp dean gig, but he then tried to engineer the hire of a certain former IVC MORONIC administrator who is known for his distaste for “shared governance.” Plus Mr. Won't-Share recently pleaded guilty to some kind of corruption, which abrubtly ended his gig as a Superintendent or something for a community college down in San Diego.

You can really see why Mathur was attracted to the guy.

Well, somehow, the word got out that Mathur was up to no good, as per usual, and the kibosh was put on the whole thing, near as I can tell. I'm told that certain trustees applied pressure in the right places on faculty’s behalf. Wagner? Not sure. Thanks, though.

Now if this kind of Mathurian meddling isn’t micromanagement, then what is? And don’t these trustees periodically pronounce that the college presidents should be left alone to preside over their colleges? Hire people? Get all autonomous? Sure!

Plus, if you're gonna be a rat bastard, well OK, but don't try to hire a guy who was just convicted of corruption! C'mon!

Like I said, tomorrow, the Goo gets evaluated. No doubt, they'll shower him with praise.

Or not!


LOADS OF FACULTY HIRING. Meanwhile, it is becoming increasingly clear to all intelligent life in the district that our huge “50%” SNAFU has Raghu Mathur’s name all over it. The problem has got nothing to do with spending at the colleges. It’s all (or almost all) about spending at or by the district.

—Plus it was a long time coming. Five years. Why did Mathur let it spin out of control? What, is he a moron?! Could be.

Our SNAFU is so MASSIVE that it appears that the district is pressing for 15-20 new faculty hires at IVC and about 30 at Saddleback College!

Well, that’s just impossible. Faculty, especially at Saddleback, are carping bigtime. How on earth can we get that amount of hiring done with all the other things that faculty and administrators have gotta do? And if you're gonna hire full-time faculty, you've gotta slow down and do it right.


(BTW: there’s no way that any old-timers are gonna be allowed to expedite their retirement, cuz geezers are the most expensive instructors, and our “50%” problem is all about spending as much on “instruction” as possible (at least 50%). So geezers beware. You ain’t goin’ nowhere.)

Mathur’s feeling the pressure BIGTIME, or at least that’s my fantasy. And don’t forget that, toward the end, last month's Accreditation midterm report imbroglio was making the district look like total a**holes, and that whole business, too, had Mathur’s name all over it. As Chancellor, he’s supposed to keep the trustees out of trouble—and especially keep them from looking like a**holes. But, time and again, Mathur just leads them off of a cliff.

No wonder they pay him $300K a year!


Plus I keep hearing that the city of Tustin is none too keen on Mathur’s BIG PLANS for ATEP—you know, Camelot and Young Republican Hoofers for Christ (or whatever they're called). The word is that the Tustin folks have been giving us the slow stink eye and, if they’re sufficiently unhappy with us, they’ll pull the plug.

Pulling the plug on Mt. Goomore! Can you imagine!? His head will surely pop.

FLASH! Someone just told me that, tomorrow, there’ll be an OPEN SESSION, too, and it will be devoted to evaluation of the board!

Wait a second! An open session? Evaluating the board? How come we didn't get an email about that? Do you suppose that Mathur is trying to thwart faculty participation, Hmmm?

My my my i yi woo!

(Pics & graphics by Chunk; click on 'em!)