Monday, April 20, 2015


     Denizens of IVC received this "advisory" today from IVC Campus Police.
     It's the cops' response to recent thefts.
     Here's what they've got: slogans. Namely,
"If you see something, say something." 
"Take it, lock it, or hide it."
     That last one reminds me of the NHTSA's remarkable "Click it or ticket!" slogan, part of their ongoing "Mottos for Morons" campaign.
     Such is the advice offered by the campus gendarmes. I bet they studied their "Law Enforcement Handbook of Stupid Sayings" all morning to come up with that stuff.
     Gosh, that inspires me to come up with similarly helpful advice:
"Trouble with your lock? I be over with my Glock."     
"Bein' hectored? Get a German Shepherd!"      
"When we spot a jerk, we generally go berserk."      
"See a thief? Call the chief!"      
"Victim of an unsub? Well, we got self-protection clubs!"
          "When a student runs amok, we ride our armored truck!" 
       
          "Trouble in you class? We'll bring tear gas."

          "Always be prudent, frisk every student!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about purses left unattended in classrooms, and thefts resulting therefrom. There seems to be some details missing from this unlikely series of events.

Roy Bauer said...

The phenomenon of leaving office doors open or ajar is common, as one might expect. Where I work, usually, two or three office doors are open during "prime time," and this leads to a sense of security. Who would steal with all of these people around, coming and going? Someone is simply exploiting the situation.

Anonymous said...

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Anonymous said...

Offices left open, sure--far fewer witnesses and activity. But classrooms--that's different. Are students going out for breaks and leaving purses in the classroom, or something like that? The risk of being seen would be fairly big, I'd guess.

Roy Bauer said...

I am aware of exactly two incidents, and both occurred in the offices in A200: one faculty and one classified employee. In the case of the classified employee, she left her office open because she has not been issued a key and had no alternative but to leave it open (ajar) to take care of some business. It was a brazen theft of her purse, etc. Pretty disconcerting.

Anonymous said...

Both students and staff have gotten too complacent with the relative safety and security at IVC. Students leave their laptops out while they go to the bathroom, offices are left open, etc. It is easy for anyone to walk by for a snatch and grab. Common sense rules here to lock things up or take them with you -- but sucks for the classified staff member who doesn't have a key...

Anonymous said...

It does suck for a staff person who is not given a key and then is subject to a theft of her personal items int eh course of doing her job. I would hope that the college admin reached out and did something to compensate her. And give her a key! Did Glenn visit her? Any update?

Anonymous said...

"Mottos for Morons" campaign - it works real well for faculty and staff - after all, you all are not the brightest bulbs on the string of light :-)

The return of the curious "Shooting Star" saga

     Back in 2012, I wrote a series of posts about the mysterious sinking, in 1974, of the yacht "Shooting Star," which took th...