Raghu's "Year in Review"

It’s hard to imagine
That nothing at all
Could be so exciting
Could be so much fun

Heaven
Heaven is a place
A place where nothing,
Nothing ever happens

—From “Heaven” (Talking Heads)

Recently, the Chancellor sent us an email that asks us to click on a link to “a pictorial of the year in review and our season’s greetings.”

(http://www.socccd.org/greetings/Greetings.pps)

We at Dissent recommend that you do as the Chancellor asks. You won’t regret it.

Here’s what you’ll find: a slide show of (count ‘em!) 109 photos, revealing the vivid banality and sparkling meretriciousness that is SOCCCD! Click! Click! Click! Click!

It enervates the spirit!

PLUS it’s all set to rousing martial music whose lurid pomp and majesty and boot-stomping cadences offer an unmistakable allusion to Leni Riefenstahl's timeless "Triumph of the Will"!

The program begins humbly enough, with, first, the district logo, then Saddleback's logo; then IVC’s logo; then ATEP’s. The excitement builds! Our logos inspire! Our district will surely last a thousand years!

We won’t spoil it for you. Suffice it to say that the authors of this program offer a work of art that, in its own way, reflects perfectly who we are and what we’re about (as Trustee Tom says) “at this moment in history.” Really.

--OK, OK, we'll show you a few of the better slides. But that's all.

Slide #26 presents the Chancellor enjoying a moment of wholesome fun with plastic balls. The balls are in the air at "this moment in history."


Slide #54 presents Park Ranger Kopecky lookin' for parking at our spankin’ new “Advanced Technology and Education Park” in beauteous Tustin:


Slide #55 presents what that man's managed to achieve at ATEP in just a few short years. It's monumental!


OK. Can I have a moment of silence while we look at these last ones?








Thank you.

Did I mention that, at Monday's board meeting, the trustees decided to replace the "invocation" with a moment of silence, or a moment of cosmic nullity, or some damn moment? Williams started to harrumph about it, but he was cut off in mid snort somehow. He's pretty good at harrumphitude. In fact, he's strictly harrumphitudinal. --Gotta go. But do check out Raghu's slide show. I think I'm starting to like the fellow.

UPDATE:
Or: "teach Milgram, not Milhouse."

I played the "martial music" for Mr. S, who knows about such things, and he informed me that it was John Philip Sousa's "Hands Across the Sea," a popular "march" piece. I did a little research and found that it is a "patriotic military march composed in 1899...The march was dedicated to all of America's allied countries abroad...." (Wikipedia)

For those unfamiliar with "Triumph of the Will," go to
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triumph_Of_The_Will

The documentary featured major key marches and works by Wagner.

One of the reasons that Raghu's Holiday "slide show" struck us as, well, "martial" is that it includes several pictures of soldiers and the former Marine helicopter station:











Not that we're complaining about the presence of soldiers at the colleges. As far as I'm concerned, they're more than welcome.

"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just."

--Thomas Jefferson

DOUBTING THOMAS (December board meeting)

--SOME NOTES on the Dec. 12 meeting of the Board of Trustees. PREBICKERMENT: There was a seriously weird vibe in the air when I entered the board room at just before 7:00. For once, all of the trustees were in their seats and they were looking forward in silence. Something was up. Maybe they got a heads up on the Accred reports. I dunno. Trustee Fuentes announced that some guy named King was approved as the Vice Chancellor of Human Resources. Nothing was announced concerning the classified contract, which remains in limbo. Several classified employees--and some faculty--spoke in support of a "fair contract" for classified. Dozens of red-shirted classified filled the seats in the auditorium. During the yearly "organizational" meeting--they've gotta unconvene and reconvene for that--the existing officers were given another year to mess things up. That means that Dave Lang will continue as President of the Board for another year.

  CURIOUS CONSENT CALENDAR CLASH: Items 12 through 35, which concerned the construction of the IVC "performing arts" center, were on the "consent calendar," which means that Lang hoped for summary approval on those items. But Trustee Padberg asked to pull those items from the CC in order to ask questions about them. Evidently, these items concerned tens of millions of dollars, and the Nance wanted to let the public in on how that money would be spent, etc. Now, as far as I know, in the past, any time a trustee has asked to pull something from the CC, the request has been honored as a matter of course. But not on this night. Williams and Wagner seemed to come unglued over the whole business, and they got seriously nasty about it, even suggesting that Nancy hadn't done her homework, that she shoulda looked at her packet more carefully and telephoned staff, etc. Lang and Mathur (& Fuentes?) seemed to chime in on Williams/Wagner's vibe. Meanwhile, Marcia M, sensing a dogpile, joined Nancy's team. She did a good job backing up Nancy. In the end, Lang sided with Nancy, but only because the board's lawyer, Warren Kinsler, had already left for home, and Lang wanted to consult with him about whether he could blow off Nancy's request. Kinsler, you'll recall, is the sharpie who lost the "hiring policy" suit for the board. (Well, really, it was the law that lost it for 'em.)

  PRIDE, BEWILDERMENT, PRIZES: At one point, Lang made some remarks that seemed to be his "state of the district" speech. He declared that there's a lot for the board to be proud of. This provoked much bewilderment. It was about then that Mathur stood up to give Dave some kinda prize for excellence or something. It was pretty icky, and I don't even use that word. 

  TOM BRIEFLY WRESTLES SATAN: Well, after a bit, the meeting got started in earnest, and, among the items was # 48, approval of the full-time faculty hiring policy. You'll recall that, two or three years ago, Mathur formed a committee to develop a new hiring policy, but he didn't invite faculty to the table, despite the law, which requires that development and approval of that policy be joint between the "district" and the "academic senates" (i.e., the faculty). Naturally, Mathur produced an absurdly anti-faculty policy that the Board Majority just loved. The latter rammed it through, despite vociferous faculty objections. Said Wagner at the time: you don't like it? So "sue us." So the senates sued and won and the process started again. This time Mathur and his pals pushed through a similarly odious policy, only this time with faculty at the table, but they were rendered helpless to stop it. Judge Smith seemed to have it in for faculty, and, absurdly, he judged that that second policy was produced with mutual agreement, despite faculty's explicit and repeated rejection of it.

  Faculty took the decision to appellate court and won bigtime. In the meantime, the Accred's turned up the heat on Mathur and his Micromanagers about their nasty and lawless ways, and so Mathur was very cooperative with the next and most recent effort to develop a policy. A month or so ago, the two sides did produce a nice little policy, and Mathur, with the Accreds still breathing hard down his neck, brought it to the board last night, hoping to get this "hiring policy" thing behind him. Whew! Well, everybody was on board with that--except Tom Fuentes, who, as you know, views faculty as rodents. Unionized rodents. Satanic, Darwin-loving rodents.

  So he picked away at the new policy, complaining about the possibility of "cronyism," a perfect instance of the pot calling the kettle black. Fuentes carped that the composition of the search committee is biased (4/3) toward faculty and against "management." He opined that faculty are also members of the union, and so, if 4 of the 7 committee members are faculty, then the union controls the process. That's some logic! Others pointed out that, in fact, "management" was an equal partner on the team that produced this new draft, and so they obviously felt that the new policy is fair to "management." Plus, in the end, management, i.e., the college presidents, can reject the names put up for final interview and can insist on getting three candidates, etc. In the end, they've got the power, not faculty. Plus (noted Williams) there's an EEOC rep on every committee to keep things on the up 'n' up, fairness-wise. None of this seemed to pacify the Fuenster, who continued to grumble disapprovingly and toss rude darts at the policy. TOMMY 

DIDN'T DO HIS HOMEWORK: At one point, one of our Academic Senate presidents suggested that, in view of Fuentes' comments, it seemed that the fellow hadn't read the policy. Fuentes snorted and said that he didn't have the policy "before" him, i.e., how's I guy supposed to read something if it isn't provided? But, in fact, the policy was in Fuentes' packet. He'd had it for a week. Oh yeah? But what about cronyism? countered Fuentes. Cronyism! Cronyism! Cronyism! The college presidents and Mathur then explained that they could police the process re cronyism and other potential horrors just fine. In the end, Fuentes explained that he really appreciated all the work "managers" put into this new draft--he seemed to exclude faculty from his gratitude--but, he added, he couldn't "in good conscience" vote for a policy that was so biased against "management." Lang said he took "exception" to Fuentes' viewing the policy as unfair to management. He said that there are adequate "checks and balances" in the system in terms of the new policy. Padberg reminded us that she hadn't voted for the earlier policy--the faculty-unfriendly policy--but she was happy to vote for this new one. She said that she, too, appreciated all the work that went into it. She included faculty in her thanks. The Board voted approval, 6/1. I left at 9:30, so I don't know what happened next, but I'll get you an update soon.

  UPDATE: DECEMBER 2004: Do you remember how, a year ago, Chancellor Mathur didn't have the four votes he needed to get his contract renewed? Remember how, for months, we thought he might actually be toast? But then, somehow, things changed: inexplicably, Trustee Lang was singin' a different tune about Raghu and, by summer, Mathur was back on top. Not only was his contract renewed, but he now received a quarter million dollar salary! At the time, Dave told his supporters among the faculty (he used to have some) that Mathur could change. Said Dave, Raghu can become the kind of administrator he is supposed to be. --You know, the non-tyrannical, non-scheming, non-duplicitous kind. Just give the poor fellow a chance! 

  DECEMBER 2005: Did you read Tracy's "Board Meeting Highlights" for last night's meeting? Open it up, and you see three photos. The second one shows Lang and Mathur. "What's that about?" you ask. Well, according to Tracy, Chancellor Raghu P. Mathur congratulated President Lang and commended him for his genuine interest in team building and willingness to recognize excellence. Yeah, I was there, and that's just what happened. No comment.

Mold pie with mouse turd topping

Still haven't heard anything about the Accreds. Sheesh! There's a rumor, though, that Saddleback College has received its report--i.e., a draft to be corrected only for errors--but mum's the word, apparently.

A coupla days ago, Earl P came up to IVC to check the mold and stinkwater situations. He brought a clipboard or something.

I showed 'im to my office. I pointed to the corner under the window. I told 'im that big puddles of stinkwater form there with every rain, right under my computer. Earl seemed pretty interested. He scratched something on a piece of paper.

Some biology faculty emerged and patiently explained that it ain't enough to check the air, cuz the air can be fine when the vents are clean. But that's consistent with the carpet being seriously moldy. See?

The mold monster is sneaky, boy. And squirrely.

Earl nodded. So did the other guy, a contractor, I think. Snappy dresser.

The Bio people made their point because, a coupla weeks ago, some guy showed up to do some fancy tests on the "air." Then, a few days ago, we were told that the results were in. Then somebody announced that the air in A200 is "clean of mold."

Some of us showed Earl and friend some of the other horrors of A200, e.g., the hideous flood stain near Frank's office and the rotting cheeseball next to the photocopy machine. We told tales of "sloshing" and sniffling and rescue ropes.

I do believe a tear formed under Earl's left eyeball.

One lively colleague who had failed to perceive the somber mood of the proceedings kept walking by whilst coughing and wheezing and stumbling most pathetically. Julie nearly kneed him in the gut. Her look said: "Cut it out or I'll give you somethin' to wheeze about."

Near the end of Earl's investigation, somebody wheeled out a lovely pizza and a prodigious tray of mold fashioned into a delightful pie. The pies were almost identical.

"Which do you wanna eat?" we asked. The contractor ate the mold pie. Earl sniffed in disgust.



(Did I mention the rodent sighting? Halfway through Wednesday's "Humanities & Languages" School meeting [in yet another building--A400], a mouse scurried haltingly across the light fixture lense immediately above us. We looked up briefly, noting the mouse's progress. Then, without comment, we returned to the meeting.)

I visited with Red recently--he hides, you know, deep in the Santa Ana Mountains, near Madame Modjeska's old barn--and he showed me his new pal "Debbsy." Here's a pic.

Reb can get pretty peevish, so I'd better show a pic of her special beastly pal too. Here's "Paco," a stunning striped feline:


I'm runnin' out of feline brats, what with the passing of Jack the Cat. Loved that cat.

But I shouldn't complain. Cuz here's a recent pic of my niece Sarah, who's about to turn three:


Have a nice weekend. (P.S.: I made up the part about the cheeseball. No cheeseballs have been found, unless you count certain faculty. --CW)

Delve into our storied past!

Check out the UFOs!

1. IT'S IRVINE-TOWN, JAKE. You couldn't miss the "vote" signs all over campus (at IVC) today. So, at about noon, I followed 'em. They led me to the top floor of the marvelous "Student Services Center."

The signs then led me to one of the rooms reserved for student government. I entered the room that was prepared to handle a stampede of voters.

Nobody was there except two pleasant middle-aged ladies who were just staring at each other in silence. There were ten or twelve fancy-schmancy voting booths. They looked pretty high-tech.

But there were no voters. Not one.

I asked, "Anybody voting today?"

"It's been kinda slow," said one lady.

We stared at each other in silence for quite some time.

2. UFO SIGHTING. Whilst wandering the campus in search of voters, I spotted a strange white object in the distant eastern sky. I quickly retrieved my camera from my moldy office and returned just in time to take a picture of the apparition. I really couldn't tell what it was. Here's how the picture looked on my camera's little screen:


You can kinda see it there near the middle and a little off to the right.

When I got home, I blew the picture up a bit. Here's what I got at first:


That wasn't much better. So I blew it up some more:



GOOD LORD!

3. IT'S OFFICIAL: NO MOLD. As we reported a week or so ago, some guy came around with fancy equipment to test the air in A200. He had a sky hook, some mirrors, and a ball of wax.

Well, we've been told that the results are in and there's no mold problem in A200. It's "scientific."

Yeah? I still think the furry glass tells you everything you need to know:


4. ACCRED REPORT: IT'S IN THE MAIL. I've been told that Deborah Blue has communicated with college officials, and she's told 'em that she sent the report for Saddleback yesterday. Looks like the report for IVC will be sent late today.

I'm not sure what "send" means here. Probably snail mail.

Wags around here figure that when the jury stays out this long, it means a "guilty" verdict.

In any case, we'll find out pretty soon. My prediction? Districtular spankage.

UPDATE (Wed., Dec. 7):

People seemed to respond favorably to my UFO photograph. I was talking with a colleague about it today, and I said something about "that UFO," and he said, "Waddya mean 'that UFO'? Doncha know? There were two of 'em!"

Two of 'em? I then remembered that I had taken two photos yesterday, and I hadn't yet developed the second one. For all that I knew, the second photo was of a different "object"! Maybe the second object is even more hideous than the first one!

I ran home and developed the other photo. Here's how it looks in normal size:


You can kinda see the "UFO" right in the middle of the photo. You can't really make it out.

So, naturally, I blew the photo up a coupla more times, and what I got....

Well, let's just say that I'm seriously weirded out:




Good God Almighty!

The 450

We’ve heard from our friends in the classified union, who’ve been negotiating a contract for the 450 classified employees of the district.

The good news: after many negotiating sessions, most issues have been resolved.

The bad news: there remain serious sticking points, and negotiations have bogged down. There’s been little progress over the past several months. People are mighty frustrated. And peeved.

If you’ve been to recent Board meetings, you know what I’m talking about!

THE “JOHNSON & ASSOCIATES” STUDY:

Have you heard about the “Johnson and Associates” study? Eighteen months ago, the board agreed to hire J & A, an independent contractor, to develop a “classification and compensation plan for all positions in the classified bargaining unit at a cost not to exceed $98,500.”

$100K! Jeez, after spending that kind of money, one might suppose that the Board would listen to J & A’s advice!

Ha!

(The Board has a history of responding to pricey studies by tossing them in the trash or even acting in defiance of their recommendations. It’s like the Bush administration: if they don’t like a study’s conclusion, then the study gets deep-sixed, and that’s that. It doesn't matter how good it is, or how much taxpayer money has been spent on it!)

J & A’s study addressed all classified positions. Employees were asked to complete a twelve page detailed description of their jobs. These descriptions were then sent to supervisors, and then to area managers, for their input. The results were sent to J & A, which then interviewed employees.

The upshot of the process was a re-titling or re-definition of classified employees in terms of standard roles and jobs. After some adjustments and corrections, J & A then compared existing classified jobs in the district (with the new titles) to similar positions in local school districts.

Seems fair.

Based on these comparisons, J & A produced a list that identified “equitable” salaries for all of the new (standardized) job descriptions.

This list included a very few positions that would freeze in pay until the cost of living rose to meet recommended compensation. Many other positions showed a 2.5% raise recommendation ranging up to three positions with a 31% raise. Most of the actual dollars per month increases hover under $100 with a few spiking up from that.

While there is some dissent regarding the recommendations, overall, employees are pleased with Johnson and Associates’ reclass study.

28 CLASSIFIED MANAGERS:

Here’s one reason that classified employees are hopping mad: over the next five years the cost of the classified managers’ raises will be roughly $1.9 million!

That’s for only 28 employees!

(You’ll recall the curious timing of these raises. A year ago, as the Board approached a decision re Mathur’s contract and Raghu couldn’t scrape anybody up to speak on his behalf, these stunning raises suddenly materialized. Classified managers—some long known for their low regard of the Chancellor—then showed up at Board meetings to sing the fellow’s praises!)

From the perspective of classified employees, the classified managers’ raises were arbitrary. And they did not reflect the findings of a comparison study done by The Hay Company.

DISTRICT LOWBALL:

In negotiations, the District has offered the classified staff “next dollar” raises, to be implemented over the next three years. Are you kidding?

CSEA’s calculations indicate that classified employees can secure “equitable pay” in terms of the J & A study for a cost of $1.7 million.

That’s for all 450 employees!


DISTRICT NEGOTIATOR a WEASEL:

Negotiations have at times become pretty rocky. At one point, unbeknownst to the Board, the J & A study was taken off the negotiations table by lawyer Steve Andelson (the Chief Negotiator for the District).

When Board members learned of this, unsurprisingly, they were surprised. (Same old story. Those people get their info from Mathur.)

In view of the raises that have been bestowed upon all other constituent group in the district—and the recommendations of the J & A study—fairness surely demands that the district come through with a decent offer.

In addition to compliance with the Johnson study, classified negotiators have pressed for a cost of living raise equivalent to the state mandated COLA for the next three—plus continued complete medical coverage.

Wanna support our classified brethren (and, um, sistren)? Talk to ‘em. Come to Board meetings wearing red. Speak up!

(Note: the "sexy" photo above is from a recent issue of the Lariat. --CW)