G-Zill evidently "really pissed" at college district

     According to Irvine Valley College officials, Godzilla kicked "a big freakin' dent" into the south end of the campus' Performing Arts Center and then "ate" a nearby sculpture. (It was the "red one," we're told.) 

     Simultaneously, the massive monster "scared the bejeezus" out of some faculty and administrators who were standing outside the north entrance of the PAC and participating in this week's "otherwise utterly uneventful" staff development program held during the week before the new spring semester.

     "He had a temper tantrum, basically," said a South Orange County Community College District spokesperson by phone regarding the beast's brief visit to its northern campus. "We are not amused," she added before hanging up.

     Yes, but why was the notoriously temperamental beast so angry? Some IVC faculty say they believe the creature's anger has something to do with the Chancellor's decision to dispense with the Spring "Opening Session"—in the past, such gatherings have been criticized for being "political"—but there are other theories.

     "Could be all that dithering [the district] is doing with ATEP," said an IVC faculty member, who insisted on anonymity. ATEP is the Advanced Technology and Education Park in the old Marine helicopter station in Tustin, which has cost the district tens of millions of dollars but has yet to fulfill its reputed promise. (It is rumored that G-Zill sometimes hides in one of those old blimp hangers at the base.)

Negative energy?

     One instructor said, cryptically, "it's about Craig. All that negative energy of his has essentially established recurrent spontaneous psychokinesis, manifesting as an enormous reptilian poltergeist."
     At that moment, we could hear a monstrous thundering peal somewhere in the distance in the general direction of the Santa Ana Mountains.