Slackery, knuckleheadery, and abject doltitude

I REMEMBER 1972, when I was seventeen and an active Nixon-hating McGovernite, and the voting age had just dropped to eighteen. Dang! “Missed it by that much,” I said. But I was very happy about the change. “It’ll sure make a difference,” I said.

And then, on election day, these 18-to-20-year-olds came out in droves not to vote. “Morons!” I said. I wasn’t happy.

Plus the ones who voted—they mostly voted for that creep Nixon. That Nixon was a creep and a ruthless & dangerous asshole was OBVIOUS. And they voted for 'im! What was the matter with these knuckleheads?

Well, after two or three years, everyone came around to my way of thinking.

Too late, fools!

Participation-wise (and elsewise), it’s been downhill ever since. (See Register graphic.) That’s probably a good thing, near as I can tell.

(By 1982, I was married, and my then-wife, who is a year older than me and very bright, finally admitted that, in ’72, she had voted for—NIXON! D’oh!!!!! Plus she had named her dog “Barry”! Heimat Land! [I've gotta admit: old BG is looking better each day.])

OK, so young people don’t vote, and when they do, they usually get it wrong, just like their dopey elders.

But maybe (um, maybe not) things are changing in the youth-participation department. In a piece in this morning’s OC Register, ”Battling voter apathy”, we learn that

…Excitement about turning out youth voters surged after the 2004 presidential election when turnout jumped 11 percent from the 2000 election.

Although turnout is always lower in non-presidential election years like this one, optimists are pointing to signs of an increased interest in voting among young people. Surveys done by Young Voter Strategies indicate that 80 percent of people 18-30 years old are registered to vote, and 63 percent say they have been paying close attention to the midterm candidates and issues this year.

Despite these high numbers, not even half of the voters in the 18-24 age range who are eligible to vote have done so since the 1972 election…. In midterm election years, no more than a quarter of this age group goes to the polls.

…This year UCI hosted an early voting station that was open for a week in October for all voters. At CSUF, a mobile early voting van made an appearance two weeks before Election Day. Volunteers say that on-campus voting makes persuading people to show up to vote much easier.

"This is the first time students will be able to vote on campus," says Katherine Doehring, a 22-year-old Northwestern graduate who runs a […] campaign to turn out voters at UCI. "This is going to be huge."….

We’ll see.

And so what if it is “huge.” Have you ever asked your students if they know the name of their Congressman? (Please excuse the incorrectness. I’m peevish today.) Try it. I'll make a prediction: only two or three hands will go up. And of the three, two will get it wrong.

Here are my voting recommendations. Don’t vote unless you’ve actually followed the issues & candidates and studied them carefully. Don't vote if you admire the President's new clothes.

And don’t feel good about voting just because you voted. That kind of feel-goodery is just assholery.

And the next time somebody chirps, “Your vote counts!”, clobber ‘em for me, and yell, "Oh yeah? What if I'M A CLUELESS ASSHOLE? Didja ever think of THAT?!"

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TODAY'S INSPIRING QUOTATION: "I think every good Christian ought to kick [Jerry] Falwell right in the ass." —Barry Goldwater