[From the ‘Vine, 7/28/98]
[Originally entitled:]
A GIFT FOR THE NEW PRESIDENT, UNWANTED
by Chunk Wheeler [Roy Bauer]
Years ago [in 1994], after Dan Larios was selected as IVC president—but before he arrived on campus—the cunning Mr. Goo, sensing an opportunity, busily constructed a document that listed IVC personnel and that drew yellow lines over the names of those employees whom Goo judged to be troublesome or unsavory. Essentially, it was a Mr. Goo “enemies list.”
When Larios arrived, at some point, the ignoble Goo presented himself to the new president and handed the document over to him, hoping the unsolicited “gift” would create a useful debt of gratitude. Some say that, at that moment, Mr. Goo genuflected and then tearfully implored, “In view of my extraordinary helpfulness, perhaps you would consider helping me to further my non-presidential administrative ambitions!” (Could be somebody just made that part up.)
Unfortunately for the Gooster, Larios was not a slimy and duplicitous rat-bastard, and so Goo’s gambit was about as useful as that damn seed that Onan spilled upon the ground. (I’ve been studying my Bible lately.)
I’m told that Larios still possesses the document (and, possibly, others possess copies). His peculiar and unfortunate sense of professionalism precludes surrendering it to those who share his low esteem of the Gooster and who might make good use of so perfect an artifact of rank Mathurian duplicity and weaselhood. —CW
[Originally entitled:]
A GIFT FOR THE NEW PRESIDENT, UNWANTED
by Chunk Wheeler [Roy Bauer]
When Larios arrived, at some point, the ignoble Goo presented himself to the new president and handed the document over to him, hoping the unsolicited “gift” would create a useful debt of gratitude. Some say that, at that moment, Mr. Goo genuflected and then tearfully implored, “In view of my extraordinary helpfulness, perhaps you would consider helping me to further my non-presidential administrative ambitions!” (Could be somebody just made that part up.)
Unfortunately for the Gooster, Larios was not a slimy and duplicitous rat-bastard, and so Goo’s gambit was about as useful as that damn seed that Onan spilled upon the ground. (I’ve been studying my Bible lately.)
I’m told that Larios still possesses the document (and, possibly, others possess copies). His peculiar and unfortunate sense of professionalism precludes surrendering it to those who share his low esteem of the Gooster and who might make good use of so perfect an artifact of rank Mathurian duplicity and weaselhood. —CW
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