At today's meeting of the IVC Academic Senate, members of the Rep Council, of which I am one, were informed that, at a recent meeting of the College Deacons (or whatever it's called), a vote was taken concerning the name of the soon-to-be-constructed south (Barranca) entrance of the college.
And thus it was, we were informed, that the college settled on "Laser" Road.
That "new mascot" committee seemed to fade away, but the problem—our laser mascotry—remains. Naming the new entrance "Laser Road" will, I said, cement the college's misbegotten laserhood.
I said something like, "Um, who is Diane O to make that decision?" Pretty soon, several other members of the Rep Council piled on. David, our Recorder, normally a mute presence, made some dry remarks about the difficulty finding a suitable mascot for "a beam of coherent light." Just what would that be? he asked.
Meanwhile, Steve noted that many among us are embarrassed by the Laser. The "word on the street," he said, is strictly negatory, laser-wise.
|Beam of coherent light|
Somebody said, I think, that the Laser is plainly a stupid mascot. Then Steve muttered about a conspiracy to maintain the "laser" name/mascot that seems to stem from a dark place, a place of power. Some people nodded gravely. Nobody laughed. I laughed darkly to myself.
Eventually, Kathy suggested that we place this matter on the agenda for the next senate meeting. Meanwhile, she would advise the powers (and flacks) that be that this anti-Laser move is afoot.
She seemed pleased.
I know I was.
"Dissent the Road." Yeah, that's the ticket. Imagine!
The IVC Duck-Rabbits!
Fast, I reckon!
Hundred an' 86
thou per second!
The sun shines brightly
Out of our butts!
Or the Chipmunks
From Red Emma’s CALLING ALL HEROES!, Dissent the Blog, October 16, 2005
Impressive laser show
Lasers, lasers, we’re all right!
We’re a coherent beam of light!
Got no football, got no team!
We’re a bright red laser beam!
Pass that photon! Stimulate emission!
We’re on another PR mission!
Vision correction! Muscle repair!
The Irvine Valley College Fabulous Victorian Babes
Remove unsightly body hair!
We’re the district that hates the Spanish!
Our mascot makes glaucoma vanish!
Who’s the district that had the Denier?
And a Chancellor who’s still a liar?
The IVC light sabers
Dave Lang sometimes voted fairness!
Now he votes to keep his Chairness!
Fool, this ain’t no low-enrolled school!
It’s an expensive hi-tech tool!
Put on your goggles, cover your cornea!
We was number one in California!
You think right now your eyes are burning?
Wait till we use Distance Learning!
WE WILL, WE WILL
BLIND YOU! [My personal fave. —RB]
Attack the Senate and governance shared!
Keep the faculty stupid and scared!
2, 4, 6, 8!
WASC will not accreditate!
Irvine! Irvine! Irvine!