Horowitz nearly creamed

● TIME FOR PIE. You remember David Horowitz. He's an incredibly stupid TV consumer advocate who tests cream pies for their cream content.

Well, yes, but that's not the David Horowitz I'm talking about. The "academic" David Horowitz writes books published by Regnery Publishing. As you know, our own Trustee Tom Fuentes sits on the board of directors of Eagle Publishing, which controls Regnery. Regnery publishes anti-evolution books and books about gun love. (Kill it & Grill It)

Horowitz is most famous, or most infamous, for proposed legislation called the "Academic Bill of Rights" (ABR). Trustee Don Wagner has implied that he supports ABR. According to the AAUP, ABR sucks bigtime. If you're an academic and you don't know that, then you're a knucklehead. Sorry, but it's true.

From Wednesday’s Newslink Indiana: Pie-throwing precedes Horowitz speech:

Moments before speaking to students Wednesday at Ball State University, …David Horowitz was accosted by protestors….

One student quickly approached Horowitz in a doorway…and attempted to hit him with a cream pie. The pie missed and hit Gene Burton, university public safety director and Horowitz's bodyguard for the night.

"There are problems on this campus, quite obviously," Horowitz said….

…After [two protesters] were removed Wednesday night, Horowitz went on with his program about fair presentation in the college classroom…A noted critic of higher education, he challenged several departments at Ball State, including sociology, women's studies and the peace studies program, headed by George Wolfe.

Wolfe made the list in one of Horowitz's most recent books, "The Professors: 101 Most Dangerous Academics in America." The two men are known for disliking each other.

"A professor should be professional in the classroom," Horowitz said. "They can teach about controversial issues, but they shouldn't try to force their students to take their view of a controversial issue."….

That's the trouble with intellectuals: lousy aim.


● ACADEMICS ARE SO DANG CONSERVATIVE. As you know, Chancellor Raghu P. Mathur has long been an advocate of urine therapy, and, consequently, he has created the District Urine Group (DUG).

Well, no, he's long been a promoter of distance learning and the like, and so he's created the District Distance Education Task Force (DDETF), which is moving forward with recommendations.

It's no secret that many faculty are skeptical about distance ed, including e-learning.

From this morning’s Inside Higher Ed: Growing Popularity of E-Learning:

More students are taking online college courses than ever before, yet the majority of faculty still aren’t warming up to the concept of e-learning, according to a national survey from the country’s largest association of organizations and institutions focused on online education.

Roughly 3.2 million students took at least one online course…during the fall 2005 term, the Sloan Consortium said. That’s double the number who reported doing so in 2002….

…The Sloan Survey…shows that 62 percent of chief academic officers say that the learning outcomes in online education are now “as good as or superior to face-to-face instruction,” and nearly 6 in 10 agree that e-learning is “critical to the long-term strategy of their institution.” ….

…The bulk of online students are adult or “nontraditional” learners, and more than 70 percent of those surveyed said online education reaches students not served by face-to-face programs.

What stands out is the number of faculty who still don’t see e-learning as a valuable tool. Only about one in four academic leaders said that their faculty members “accept the value and legitimacy of online education,” the survey shows. ….

...The Sloan report shows that about 80 percent of students taking online courses are at the undergraduate level. About half are taking online courses through community colleges and 13 percent through doctoral and research universities, according to the survey.

…The report indicates that two-year colleges are particularly willing to be involved in online learning….

That's cuz it's cheap.

I'm buyin' some pies.

● HOW DID THAT "BOTCHED" JOKE GO AGAIN? OK, I just couldn't resist. From yesterday’s New York Times: Marines Get the News From an Iraqi Host: Rumsfeld’s Out:

Hashim al-Menti smiled wanly at the marine sergeant beside him on his couch. The sergeant had appeared in the darkness on Wednesday night, knocking on the door of Mr. Menti’s home.

When Mr. Menti answered, a squad of infantrymen swiftly moved in, making him an involuntary host.

Since then marines had been on his roof with rifles, watching roads where insurgents often planted bombs.

Mr. Menti had passed the time watching television. Now he had news. He spoke in broken English. “Rumsfeld is gone,” he told the sergeant, Michael A. McKinnon.

“Democracy,” he added, and made a thumbs-up sign. “Good.”

The marines had been on a continuous foot patrol for several days, hunting for insurgents. They were lost in the hard and isolating rhythms of infantry life.

They knew nothing of the week’s news.

Now they were being told by an Iraqi whose house they occupied that Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, one of the principal architects of the policies that had them here, had resigned.

“Rumsfeld is gone?” the sergeant asked. “Really?”

Mr. Menti nodded. “This is better for Iraq,” he said. “Iraqi people say thank you.”

The sergeant went upstairs to tell his marines, just as he had informed them the day before that the Republican Party had lost control of the House of Representatives and that Congress was in the midst of sweeping change. Mr. Menti had told them that, too.

“Rumsfeld’s out,” he said to five marines sprawled with rifles on the cold floor.

Lance Cpl. James L. Davis Jr. looked up from his cigarette.

“Who’s Rumsfeld?” he asked.

See also Slackery, Knuckleheadery, and Abject Doltitude

"Yadda-yadda-yadda," he said

1. "I'M DONE." In this morning’s OC Register—Students at odds over Pledge of Allegiance—public rituals—involving mention of "God"—take another hit:

Passions ran high at Orange Coast College on Wednesday after a vote by student government leaders to stop recognizing the Pledge of Allegiance…Three of five Associated Students trustees took the action Monday, with board member Jason Ball calling the flag salute "irrelevant to the business of student government."…"While it's great to be an American, and I'm proud to be an American, yadda-yadda-yadda, and I appreciate all the rituals, I'm done" saluting the flag, Ball said Wednesday.

…[A] dozen students crowded board chambers Wednesday to decry the move…Sophomore Chris Belanger, who accused the board of "radical views and anti-Americanism," waved the American flag at the start of the meeting.

…Concerns about the phrase "under God," central to a 2002 ruling by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, factored in the trustees' move, Ball said before the meeting…In that case – which the Supreme Court ultimately dismissed on procedural grounds – circuit court justices were concerned about a possible church-state conflict….

Recently, the Academic Senates of the South Orange County Community College District passed resolutions objecting to board meeting invocations that are prayers. Naturally, they do not object to prayer per se; rather, they object to prayer as alienating of segments of the community. See Prayer and resolutions

2. BETTER THAN ORLANDO. From this morning’s Inside Higher Ed:

The Maricopa Community College District [in Arizona] has barred administrators from taking all-expenses-aid (by the district) foreign trips, The Arizona Republic reported. The new rules follow the newspaper’s report several weeks ago on numerous trips abroad by officials of Mesa Community College and the expenses on those trips — some of which involved fancy meals or tourism.

According to the Arizona Republic:

…[T]he [trips by teams of administrators] included stays at $250-a-night hotels, meals at choice restaurants and excursions in cities such as Amsterdam, Netherlands; London; Dublin, Ireland; and Hong Kong on paid workdays.

Although the trips were billed as intensive working sessions that involved back-to-back meetings, college records showed officials on some trips spent more days sightseeing, shopping and exploring than they did in meetings.

SOCCCD Trustee John Williams has exploited his position to take junkets to Orlando, FL and elsewhere though similar meetings and conventions are available in CA. See: Closing in on junket abuse?

3. YEAH, BUT HE GOT THOUSANDS OF VOTES. From yesterday’s OC Register: Rocco loses bid for community college district seat:

…Rocco was dubbed "the mystery guy" in 2004 when he won the Orange Unified seat without campaigning…Just like in 2004, Rocco did not show up at candidate forums, put up signs or file a ballot statement for the Rancho Santiago seat.

4. CALL ON ME. Looks like the youth vote really is on the rise. In this morning’s San Francisco Chronicle: Growing youth turnout is good news for Dems: 
Phone calls, handshakes, even text messages encouraged those under 30 to go to polls:

Two million more young people voted Tuesday than in the 2002 midterm elections -- but not because of trendy new campaigning tactics like uploading videos on YouTube or posting candidates' profiles on MySpace. Instead, 18-to-29-year-olds were compelled to vote because of one of the oldest media tactics: Somebody asked them, often in person....

Culture of fear

● MEETING. As you know, workers have been complaining about IVC’s Director of Facilities and Maintenance, Wayne Ward, accusing him of various forms of unprofessionalism, including retaliation against underlings who register complaints about him.

I have learned that, last Friday, two F&M workers met with Irvine Valley College’s President, Glenn Roquemore, explaining to him how, in their view, they have experienced exactly that: retaliation from Wayne after they submitted formal complaints regarding his actions. (See "It's a condom," he said and Unsafe conditions?.)

At the meeting, they told me, they insisted that their pursuit of this matter was not itself retaliation. Their action, they said, was only an attempt to defend themselves against Wayne’s unfair and hostile treatment.

The workers tell me that, during this meeting, Glenn seemed to take their complaints seriously and that he assured them that he would not tolerate retaliatory actions.

"Do you think he was sincere?" I asked.

"Yes."

Well, we’ll see.

● THE VAN. Several workers have offered me accounts (and informal written declarations from coworkers) of Wayne’s alleged misconduct. Some of these stories are particularly disturbing, for they concern safety.

One story that I have heard from more than one source concerns a particular college van. According to the story, about a year ago, a worker apprised Wayne that this particular vehicle was unsafe to drive, owing to the poor condition of its tires. Nevertheless, Wayne insisted that the van be issued for use to transport students to some location. According to the story, on the road, the van experienced a severe blowout, resulting in damage to the body of the van—and, presumably, endangerment of the van’s occupants. (“Over 23,000 passenger vehicles are towed, annually, from crashes resulting from tire blowouts or flats. Nearly half of these blowout-induced crashes result in rollovers.” --Public Citizen.)

No one was hurt, I’m told.

I’ve seen photos of the damage to the vehicle, and they are remarkable (can a blowout inflict such damage?).

I've been led to believe that the incident was reported by workers. If so, and if the above account is accurate, one wonders how it can be that Wayne was not severely reprimanded.

● DON'T GET SICK. Some stories, of course, do not concern safety, but other forms of alleged misconduct. For instance, I’m told that IVC's plant engineer (see F&M staff), Mr. B, has been ill. Consequently, he was forced to miss many days of work.

According to this account, during the plant engineer's absence, Wayne posted his job—that is, he solicited for those interested in assuming that position, despite Mr. B's not having been laid off or fired. When Mr. B returned to work, naturally, he was very surprised and upset to learn of this development.

The CSEA (union) was brought in, and Wayne was compelled to unpost the job.

There are many such stories describing Wayne's alleged irregular and seemingly whimsical actions. In some cases, formal complaints have been filed, but, say the workers, these have had no apparent effect on Wayne's standing.

● CHIEF KREZA. Sadly, we have also heard various disturbing stories about IVC Police Chief Owen Kreza, who is away on administrative leave. As you know, a few weeks ago, district officials seized the computers of both the Police Chief and the Deputy Police Chief (the latter is also on administrative leave). As far as I know, the HR people have not revealed the nature of the investigation that is underway concerning those employees. Speculation is rampant.

Reliable witnesses have told me some remarkable stories of Kreza’s alleged conduct over the years and the allegedly offensive and unprofessional culture that has characterized his administration.

The stories concern a range of unprofessional situations and actions, including a pattern of blatant retaliation against underlings who displease the chief.

If these stories are true--in my judgment, the witnesses are reliable and their accounts are plausible--then there is a real problem here at IVC. Call it a culture of fear, a culture of unrestrained unprofessionalism. I doubt that it flows from the President's office, for it does not exist everywhere at IVC. But neither is it isolated to one area (evidently), and so one wonders if it exits because it is tolerated or because the President simply does not know what occurs at his own college.

The employees (and others) with whom I have spoken only seek a professional atmosphere in which to work. And they would be very pleased if the President were to take steps to insure such an atmosphere.

FACULTY. Of course, those of us who worked at IVC during the tenure of President Raghu Mathur--who, of course, hired Kreza and various stunningly unprofessional and incompetent administrators and managers (Poindexter, et al.)--recall a time when the culture extended to administrative dealings with faculty. Today, conditions are far from perfect, but, by and large, faculty--at least full-time faculty--no longer work in an atmosphere of abusive unprofessionalism and fear as they once did. (Tell me if I am wrong.)

For that, we are (certainly, I am) grateful and relieved. We hope and trust that, in the present cases concerning F&M workers and police officers, the President will acknowledge the problem and, at long last, take the necessary steps to deal with it. Nobody's asking for anyone's "head." They are asking for--and demanding--professionalism.

We all want this college to succeed in every way and for its employees to be able to work in an atmosphere of decency and respect.

● ON A LIGHTHEARTED NOTE: Evidently, yesterday (Tuesday) morning, vandals destroyed the glass front on a vending machine at IVC. (Over by A300.) I was shown the aftermath at about 11:00 a.m. There was still some glass on the ground. Don't know anything else beyond that.

Maybe somebody didn't get their change. Maybe they're just Republican. Dunno.


That's glass down at the bottom. Sharp, horrible, slivers. Thousands of 'em.

It's the Republican Party.

RECENT SPECIAL BLOGGERY:

The replacement Clock Tower adventure

...in which the Dissent team employs indeterministic serial collusion to produce maximum SPOOFULOSITY.

Well, Red. (Red Emma)

Hey, kids! It’s Red Emma’s Biblio-Blog! 

     I DON'T KNOW what you online folks do when not reading DISSENT the BLOG and Michael Berube on-line and watching last night’s Daily Show or listening to Sean Hannity or, my current favorite, “The Frank Pastore Show: The Intersection of Faith and Reason,” KKLA 4-7 daily on 99.5 FM. 

     This week, Frank, a former professional baseball player who worked with Athletes in Action (Campus Crusade for Christ), tells you how to vote like a troglodyte and discusses

“A Night of Christian Comedy” (I won’t even touch that) and “Revolution,” which seems to be a series of free Christian heavy metal concerts (check out the video).

Besides these amusements and pulling the wings off of flies, Red’s struggle for mental health includes reading, watching and listening, which is designed to maintain his already heightened states of amusement or anger, two states roughly bordering Florida and Texas. So, as the election cycle comes to its orgasmic conclusion and you light up a ciggie and turn the bedstand light back on, here’s some RECOMMENDED READING. 

Michael Pollan’s The Botany of Desire. I start teaching this sort of revisionist natural history meditation to undergrad comp students in a few weeks. It’s full of words like “evolution” and “co-evolution” and “evolutionary biology.” Wish me luck. But, seriously, it’s quite smart and accessible, especially for a guy like me who flunked Bio. 

RE/Search Pranks, Volume II. This is the follow-up issue to one of the very best in the occasional series from the San Francisco-based alternative publisher V.Vale, whose underground titles include everything you will never hear or see on NPR or the New York Times, including an issue devoted to the late, lamented Supermasochist Bob Flannagan, RIP. So far I’ve read interviews with Jello Biafra and the Yes Men, those anti-corporate media pranksters whose exploits are documented in the eponymous film. 

Sam Harris, Letter to a Christian Nation. Short, quasi-epistolary treatise on how nutty is the entire premise not only of fundamentalist religion but, more urgently, how nutty is the complicity of so-called moderate or tolerant or liberal religionists who go along with it all. Imagine, some voters let their community college trustees start meetings with a fucking prayer.

J. Robert Lennon’s Mailman. I am a tough crowd, if a small one. I will put a book down if the writer is not keeping me entertained. Perhaps this accounts for the six-foot high stack by my side of the bed, which will kill me in the next earthquake. This is a smart, funny novel about a very odd and human mailman who sees the terrible and awesome consequences of each and every one of his actions, from not delivering a letter to abandoning a very bad kitty cat by the side of the road. (The cat is rescued, and then Mailman has to pretend that it was lost to the sexy woman cat lover who finds him and beds him and later dies, leaving him sad if not full of regret, but still with the damned animal, which keeps him awake all night.) 

Ben Ehrenreich, The Suitors. This is a wild retelling of the Penelope story by the journalist son (he writes for the LA Weekly) of the famous journalist mom (Nickel and Dimed, etc.). A dark, poetic, hilarious and prismatic update of the Odyssey that’s odd, yes, but so fueled by the idiom and tropes of our political moment that you think somebody is talking about us all in the next room. If you like George Saunders (CivilWarLand in Bad Decline) and Aimee Bender (Willful Creatures), you will dig this. 

Christopher Moore, The Stupidist Angel. Xmas is coming. Time to gird yourself for battle. Fast, furious, funny.

I, Fatty by Jerry Stahl. The local book club I facilitate is reading this novel based on the tragic life of Fatty Arbuckle, doomed comic film star. Or they say they are. Some people arrive at our monthly meetings not having read the book, but the wine and cheese is sure good and I gasbag convincingly about LITRACHOOR. Stahl says he wrote the book to learn about our “pharmocracy,” where heroine was once legal and, because he was so strung-out, the doomed Fatty had to actually wear a fat suit just to portray himself.

Gary Wills’ comprehensive piece in the current New York Review of Books on how Bush has appointed rightwing religionists wingnuts to govern & administer at every level. Until now I had never imagined writing to ask for a longer (!) piece in the Review of Books, but I wanted more. I assume he is writing a book. 

Have you seen Richard Dawkins’ The Root of All Evil? So far as I can tell you can only view this amazing two-part BBC documentary in about fifty parts, short sections of it having been downloaded by fans of the show to YouTube. 

The Wire, Season 3. (HBO) Even better than seasons one and two, this case study of, ostensibly, the drug war, takes on all of our civic institutions through the device of “the wire,” that is, the use of electronic surveillance by Baltimore police of gangsters and, necessarily, everybody. Available through Netflix. (Are you my secret Netflix buddy?)

We Jam Econo. A moving, smart, profile of the San Pedro punk band, the Minutemen. In the car, I am driving defensively. I have to cuz of all the naughty bumperstickers on it. Like “Doing My Best to Piss Off the Religious Right” and “Lobotomies for Republicans: It’s the Law!” 

And I am playing, real loud, the audio book version of Al Franken’s The Truth With Jokes on CD. Al talks. I laugh. People honk and give me the finger. We have a lot of fun, all of us. --RE

Dissentular election day miscellany

● Here's a link to Tan "FOF" Nguyen's campaign theme song: Stand By Our Tan.

Sometimes it’s hard to be a fighter.
Giving all you have to take a stand.
Oh, there are bad times, and there are good times
Dealing with things that you can’t understand....

One thing, though. Who's the "you" who "can't understand"? Clueless Tan or clueless fan?

● When you can't afford to go buy the book (LA Times)

College student Rob Christensen has tried nearly every trick in the book to save money on the books.

Last year, Christensen said, he borrowed a psychology text from his university library and kept it all semester. It dawned on him that the fines (which turned out to be $8) would be less than the price (around $40).

…Three years ago, 43% of the students surveyed by the National Assn. of College Stores indicated that they "always purchase required textbooks." Last fall the figure sank to 35%....

SOCCCD Trustees Don Wagner and Tom Fuentes have pressured student government at the two colleges to make a greater effort to keep text book prices as low as possible. We salute you! (Profit from book sales is a major source of income for student government.)

● O.C. Hires Monitors To Guard Against Voting Fraud

A special team of election monitors will be on hand to investigate irregularities in Orange County, where thousands of Hispanics received messages last month warning immigrants not to vote....

Anybody got time to put a tail on Tom today?

● Hey, has anyone seen the latest Lariat?

● Have you kept up with the new "grade grievance" policy. Say goodbye to the good--er, the bad--old days. Ask your Senate rep! Make 'em talk! No waterboarding though.

● THE ACCREDS ARE COMING. Just heard from IVC's Prez Roquemore that "[The ACCJC's] Dr. Deborah Blue...and Ms. Mary Halvorson will visit the college on Thursday, November 30, 2006..." How about Saddleback College's ACCRED visit?

The replacement Clock Tower adventure

Source: Uploaded by user via Irvine Valley on Pinterest

☛
THIS MORNING, Irvine Valley College’s new “Clock Tower”—the long-awaited replacement of the venerable old Clock Tower—finally arrived.

It arrived by post, in a box, which the mail guy brought to President Glenn Roquemore’s office. Here's what happened next:

●●●●●

...Glenn greedily opens the little box. He pulls out the clock, separating it from the tissue paper. He holds it high and smiles.

“Kinda small, isn’t it?” says the mail guy.

Glenn sniffs. "Wayne got it. It's really well-made."

He places it flat on the pea green blotter atop his desk. He hovers above it. “It looks bigger there. Sort of.”

After a while, Glenn decides to go outside to "try it out." He enlists the mail guy, who looks confused.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” says Glenn, decisively. "It's time for me to take charge. C'mon!"


They take it out to the spot of the old Clock Tower. The mail guy climbs into the planter and plants the clock where he figures it oughta be.

It's about as noteworthy as a dirt clod.

"Looks like shit there," says the mail guy. "Total insignificant shit. If you want my opinion."

"Yeah," says Glenn. "It's supposed to be a real good clock." Glenn shakes his head.

After a while, he says: "How about on this thingy on the dingus that holds the light fixture dealy?" Glenn has the guy move it there. They step back and stare.

"OK, that looks worse," says the mail guy.

"Plus, the clock stopped."

Glenn stops to think. He thinks hard. The mail guy looks at his feet. A rabbit hops by and stops, unnoticed by the president and the mailman, to stare. He is wearing a vest and a pocketwatch. Yes, he is a white rabbit.










Glenn decides to put the Clock out near the library. They walk there and find a squarish light thingy by a planter; they put the Clock Tower on top of it; then they stare at it.

"That bird shit on that squarish thingy is a problem," says the mail guy. "It detracts."

"Yeah," says Glenn. "How'd that get there?"

"Birds."

They stare for a while. The mail guy fingers the bird crap.

Then Glenn says: "What about over there by that door?"

"What door?"

"I dunno. That door." Glenn puts it there himself, on the ground, by the door.

"Now it looks super small. I think it's getting smaller," says the mail guy.

"Yeah." Glenn thinks really hard now. He thinks for five whole minutes. Then he smiles.

Glenn next walks over to the parking lot. He puts the Clock Tower near a bend in the path. He stands back and squints at it.

"OK, now it looks like some kind of weird mushroom," says the mail guy. "I mean, that's if you want my opinion."

"Mushroom? Wait," said Glenn, "what's this?" His brow furrows and he kneels down and sure enough, there is a mushroom, right next to the new Clock Tower and, on top of the mushroom sits a caterpillar, a blue one smoking a long hookah.

The Caterpillar and Glenn look at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar takes the hookah out of his mouth, and addresses him in a languid, sleepy voice.

"Who are you?" says the Caterpillar.

This is not a particularly encouraging opening for a conversation. Clearly the insect has not seen the president's special parking space. Reserved for Glenn. Glenn replies, rather shyly, "I—I hardly know, just at present—at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then. It all started with this, this, Clock Tower." He points.

His finger shakes a little and he suddenly realizes the terrible toll that being college president has taken on him. He used to be so carefree and jolly, cruising along through life on any number of sporty conveyances, Seadoos and Cushmans and Vespas, when not shooting at small animals.

"What do you mean by that?" says the Caterpillar sternly. "Explain yourself!"

"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid," replies Glenn, "because I'm not myself, you see."

"I don't see," says the Caterpillar.

"I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly," Glenn replies very politely, "for I can't understand it myself to begin with. It has something to do with, to do with, uh,…size."

The mail guy is clearly uncomfortable. He is an employee of the Postal Services, trained for all kinds of circumstances, but not this. He pushes his clipboard at Glenn. "If you could just sign here sir, well, that would be great. I have other deliveries. It's getting late."


The Caterpillar ignores the mail guy and turns his attention to Glenn. "What size do you want to be?" he asks. "Smaller? Bigger?"

"Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Glenn hastily responds. "it's not about me, it's about…" He nods toward the Clock Tower.

"You'll get used to it in time," says the Caterpillar; and he puts the hookah into his mouth and begins smoking again.

"I know I will, but others won't. They will see it as a symbol of…me."

After a minute or two the Caterpillar takes the hookah out of his mouth and yawns once or twice, and shakes himself. Then he gets down off the mushroom, and crawls away in the grass, merely remarking as he goes, "One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter."

"One side of what? The other side of what?" thinks Glenn to himself. And why is this big animal quoting the Jefferson Airplane? The mail guy has deserted him by this time and the students seem to be making a wide circle around the suited fellow kneeling next to the mushroom in the grass.

"Of the mushroom," says the Caterpillar, just as if Glenn has asked his question aloud; and in another moment he is out of sight, heading toward the coffee cart with a cloud of sweet smelling smoke trailing after.

Glenn remains looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it is perfectly round, he finds this a very difficult question. However, at last he stretches his arms round it as far as they will go, and breaks off a bit of the edge with each hand.

"And now which is which?'" he says to himself, and nibbles a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment he feels a violent blow underneath his chin: it has struck his foot!


But then he looks up at the new Clock Tower and smiles. Perfect, thinks Glenn. Now as soon as everyone takes a bite—

—CW
—RG
—RE

Slackery, knuckleheadery, and abject doltitude

I REMEMBER 1972, when I was seventeen and an active Nixon-hating McGovernite, and the voting age had just dropped to eighteen. Dang! “Missed it by that much,” I said. But I was very happy about the change. “It’ll sure make a difference,” I said.

And then, on election day, these 18-to-20-year-olds came out in droves not to vote. “Morons!” I said. I wasn’t happy.

Plus the ones who voted—they mostly voted for that creep Nixon. That Nixon was a creep and a ruthless & dangerous asshole was OBVIOUS. And they voted for 'im! What was the matter with these knuckleheads?

Well, after two or three years, everyone came around to my way of thinking.

Too late, fools!

Participation-wise (and elsewise), it’s been downhill ever since. (See Register graphic.) That’s probably a good thing, near as I can tell.

(By 1982, I was married, and my then-wife, who is a year older than me and very bright, finally admitted that, in ’72, she had voted for—NIXON! D’oh!!!!! Plus she had named her dog “Barry”! Heimat Land! [I've gotta admit: old BG is looking better each day.])

OK, so young people don’t vote, and when they do, they usually get it wrong, just like their dopey elders.

But maybe (um, maybe not) things are changing in the youth-participation department. In a piece in this morning’s OC Register, ”Battling voter apathy”, we learn that

…Excitement about turning out youth voters surged after the 2004 presidential election when turnout jumped 11 percent from the 2000 election.

Although turnout is always lower in non-presidential election years like this one, optimists are pointing to signs of an increased interest in voting among young people. Surveys done by Young Voter Strategies indicate that 80 percent of people 18-30 years old are registered to vote, and 63 percent say they have been paying close attention to the midterm candidates and issues this year.

Despite these high numbers, not even half of the voters in the 18-24 age range who are eligible to vote have done so since the 1972 election…. In midterm election years, no more than a quarter of this age group goes to the polls.

…This year UCI hosted an early voting station that was open for a week in October for all voters. At CSUF, a mobile early voting van made an appearance two weeks before Election Day. Volunteers say that on-campus voting makes persuading people to show up to vote much easier.

"This is the first time students will be able to vote on campus," says Katherine Doehring, a 22-year-old Northwestern graduate who runs a […] campaign to turn out voters at UCI. "This is going to be huge."….

We’ll see.

And so what if it is “huge.” Have you ever asked your students if they know the name of their Congressman? (Please excuse the incorrectness. I’m peevish today.) Try it. I'll make a prediction: only two or three hands will go up. And of the three, two will get it wrong.

Here are my voting recommendations. Don’t vote unless you’ve actually followed the issues & candidates and studied them carefully. Don't vote if you admire the President's new clothes.

And don’t feel good about voting just because you voted. That kind of feel-goodery is just assholery.

And the next time somebody chirps, “Your vote counts!”, clobber ‘em for me, and yell, "Oh yeah? What if I'M A CLUELESS ASSHOLE? Didja ever think of THAT?!"

✌ ✌ ✌ ✌

TODAY'S INSPIRING QUOTATION: "I think every good Christian ought to kick [Jerry] Falwell right in the ass." —Barry Goldwater