Last night's "H & L" deviltry

As anyone who knows anything about the South Orange County Community College District knows, Irvine Valley College's School of Humanities and Languages (H&L) constitutes a cabal—one that, for years, controlled IVC and perhaps the entire district.

We're talking circa 1980-1997: the "IVC Cabal Years."

The cabal's chief goals?

• To suppress chemistry & Voc Ed,
• to teach homosexuality & liberalism,

—and, above all,

• to thwart the ambitions of Raghu P. Mathur.

Until 1997, the cabal's aims had been achieved. (See A Brief History of the District.) But then, in 1997, a miracle occurred: Raghu Mathur ascended to the IVC Presidency, and, within a semester, the cabal was routed, Sodom and Gomorrah crumbled, and the shining city on the—er, in the valley shined. (Shone?)

By 2002, the by-then wildly-popular Ragster Gooster McMathur (as nobody calls him) became district Chancellor. Thanks to him, truth, decency, and competence have been restored, as you well know. (Re Mathurian competence and discernment, see Mathur hires: a record of excellence. See also Mathur & Poindexter/Gensler.)

ALAS, IN THE MEANTIME, on occasion, the H&L coven—or what's left of it—still assembles to lick old wounds (among other things!), recall old triumphs, sing old Russian folk songs, and sometimes even plot old machinations anew. (See Who they are.)

Last night at Chunk's place, these devils danced and drank and communed, and, though it may offend our moral sensibilities, they enjoyed themselves mightily—there, high in the Santa Ana Mountains, a demonic outcropping of peaks, valleys, and hidden catacombs where, reportedly, cabalists once provided lush spelunkular lodgings and bee honey to Ossama B. Laden and his disgusting infidelic "posse."


These vile & godless bastards even brought their children!

I found this tyke--he told me that he was named after a famous union "hero"!—playing with Beatles DVDs, which were mottled with obvious sexual imagery—pointy beards, green apples, table legs, and so on.

"I love the Beatles," he announced, to my horror. "John's my favorite Beatle!" he added.

In the TV room, I found this next fellow (note the quasi-pointy beard) holding forth, relentlessly condemning the supposed materialistic excesses of DirecTV programming!

"800 channels!" he roared, while scowling and sipping Red Tea.

Throughout the dark and humid evening, the H&L children frolicked in this fetid and viscous swamp of godless animal-loving antiestablishmentarianism. (Caution: the following images may be disturbing to sensitive people):




Subjected to such scenes, it was hard for me to hold my tongue and my slippery pilsner. The children's innocence—situated, as it was, in so dark a morass of secular or Unitarian filth—inspired within me a deep nausea so gut-wrenching that, sitting here now, the experience fully outstrips my capacity adequately to measure or convey it.

Garsh.

At one point, the children were encouraged to play "find the cat"—a seemingly innocent game that no doubt is meant to prepare them for future dark doings the full explication of which decency prevents me from providing—although I will say this much: that I spotted the Holy Bible sitting upside down (!) on a windowsill atop a box set of NBC's Medium (Season 1), which was itself glued to the crusted remnant of some demonic drool (or worse!).


That these shameless Nattering Nabobs of Vegetarianism (Unitarianism? Zoroastrianism?) would so carelessly leave signs of their dark ritualistic degradations for all to see inspires the faint hope that, some day, owing to a momentary lapse, the wily IVC Humanists will be exposed and destroyed and forever banished from God's vast mindless Creation.

Gawd, let's hope so.





P.S.:

Last night, me 'n' a few other singles from The Christian Reconstructionist Hostel were bused to a sneak preview of Saw III. It was awesome! We stayed up nearly all night rapping about it.

That's it for now.


CHUNK w/ ADAM 'n' SARAH, SUNDAY NIGHT:

I make them listen to Polly Jean Harvey.

I offer Adam cash. He takes it.

Our reaction to news of root beer availability.

Upon teaching these two the secret ACLU handshake.

We all know

It’s been a wild week. On Tuesday, I heard an amazing rumor about Irvine Valley College's Police Chief, and, after a brief investigative episode that had been inspired by a flash of common sense, I had verification. An hour later, I posted the story on the blog. Later, I filled it out a bit.

The response has been amazing. All week, people kept coming up to me—to me and to my partner in crime, Reb—thanking us for keeping them informed.

It’s been weird, too. At one point, three or four college employees—new acquaintances for us, but long-time employees—were in our office, explaining about some new outrage on campus, the subject of a future blog posting. Somehow, they got the notion that my office mate could help them out. That’s why they were there.

One fellow did most of the talking. It suddenly occurred to him to mention something. In a hushed voice, he turned to us and said, “Have you read"—he looked over his shoulder, then turned back to us—"the blog?”

“The blog?” we asked.

“Yeah.” He briefly looked behind him again. “The one that explains about the Chief and all that kinda stuff.”

The fellow had the look of a guy who was admitting to owning a copy of The Secret Life of Gerbils.

After a few bewildered seconds, my office mate and I said, “We are the blog!”

Since Tuesday, about a dozen people with cocked eyebrows and knowing looks have stopped me to praise “the blog,” something they clearly enjoy or value.

Even some administrators and managers.

“I had no idea about that,” said one, referring to Tuesday's posting. “Nobody tells us anything.”

“This place is nuts,” he added.

One SC administrator told me that, on Tuesday, he was on the phone with someone about some pressing issue. But the two seemed not to be on the same page. The person on the phone finally suggested that he (the administrator) had better go find out “what’s going on.” She wasn’t about to say it herself. Not on a district phone line.

“Just, um, go to the faculty. They know” She seemed to be alluding to some specific source. But what?

It finally occurred to the administrator, he now told me, to read the blog. So he went there. Voila!

These encounters haven’t been entirely positive. Yesterday, I encountered a certain well-paid college employee who interrupted his conversation with his colleagues to scold me. Half-jokingly, he said, “Hey, you missed some really juicy stuff.”

“Like what?”

“You’ve heard about the credit card, I suppose?”

Yes, I had. Allegedly, a certain college official had been using the college credit card to pay for gas for his car.

“Scandal-wise, that’s strictly chump change around here,” I said. After a few seconds, I mentioned a rumor I had heard: “I guess I’ve heard something about pornography on computers. And not just at the library.”

The employee then explained that that same college official was in the habit of forwarding graphic and objectionable materials via email.

That wasn’t the only problem with that “official.” There’ve been lots of complaints about his conduct. Some of them formal. Evidently, former VPI Dennis White had long been trying to rein the guy in, for the college’s sake.

“So this stuff has been going on for a long time? Why didn’t Glenn (Roquemore, IVC’s President) just fire the guy? Why put up with all this crap?”

He looked disappointed. “Well, you know as well as I do how things work here. At a certain level in this district”—his body language made clear that he was referring to the highest level—“once you are accepted as part of that little culture up there, well, you know. You’re protected.”

Yes, I knew.

After a few seconds, he added, “Raghu hired him, you know.”

He didn’t need to say that. Everyone in the room knew.

We all know.

Irvine Valley College's top cops placed on administrative leave

I have it on very good authority that Owen Kreza, Irvine Valley College's Chief of Police, and his deputy, Dennis Duncan, have been placed on administrative leave and that, earlier today, their computers were seized by the (South Orange County Community College) district.

That the district seized Kreza and Duncan's computers is peculiar. According to established procedure, the college's own IT personnel would handle any movement or processing of college computer equipment.

I also have it on good authority that a cop from Saddleback College, Deputy Chief of Police James Pyle, is now serving as "Interim" (or possibly only "acting") IVC Chief.

A LITTLE BACKGROUND: Kreza served with the Irvine Police Department from the early 70s until his retirement from that organization in 1995.

After his service with IPD, Kreza had a colorful second career. According to the Irvine World News,

Since retirement, Kreza has worked at Concordia University and UC Irvine, and operated his own executive protection agency where he provided security to country music stars, business moguls and the family of the Sultan of Brunei.

See College police chief named. (6/7/01)

Kreza was named IVC Police Chief in 2001.

Kreza's private firm is Owen Kreza Professional Services of Foothill Ranch.

MS. HAMMEL'S RETALIATION COMPLAINT: In April of 2006, a formal "retaliation complaint" was lodged against Kreza by IVC classified employee Suzanne Hammel. (See April board agenda/closed session.) In July, Ms. Hammel appealed the board's April decision (see July board agenda/closed session), but, after the July closed session trustee meeting, no action concerning the complaint or the board's decision concerning it was reported.

It is not known (not by me, anyway) whether the Hammel matter had any bearing on today's action.

I'm told that Robert King, SOCCCD's Vice Chancellor of Human Resources, was involved, and perhaps directed, today's action.

ONCE AGAIN, MATHUR'S LEGACY: Naturally, Kreza was a Raghu Mathur hire. Mathur served as President of IVC from 1997 to early 2002. During Mathur's tenure as President, he experienced two votes of "no confidence" by college faculty, in part owing to some of Mathur's administrative and managerial hires.

One hire, Rod Poindexter, Dean of Health Science, PE, & Athletics, was fired after a series of embarrassing episodes, including one reported fracas and alleged threatening behavior. (See Irvine Valley A.D. taken off job.)

Another Mathur favorite, Humanities and Languages/Fine Arts dean Howard Gensler, stepped down not long after reports revealed that Gensler, along with Mathur, pursued a $900 million private Hilton Hotel/Theater complex at IVC (it was dubbed the "Howard Hilton" by denizens of the college). Evidently, Gensler and Mathur had failed to consult the city regarding these unusual--and, to some, absurd--plans.

Both Poindexter and Gensler were despised by their faculty. But the low estimations of Poindexter and Gensler by faculty had no bearing on either dean's exit from administration. (Gensler is now a tenured Econ instructor at Saddleback College who is pursuing a suit against the district.)

Despite these and other embarassing episodes--Mathur also sued the district when his attempt to sue Dissent editor Roy Bauer backfired, leaving him with whopping legal costs--in 2002, the SOCCCD board of trustees appointed Mathur district Chancellor. As Chancellor, Mathur soon experienced a 93.5% vote of no confidence by faculty. If anything, Mathur is even less popular with faculty today.

The conservative SOCCCD board has recently granted Mathur raises and perks. He now makes roughly a quarter million dollars a year, including a generous car rental allowance. (Mathur drives a Mercedes.)

Memos Make the World Go Round

TO: College Community

FROM: Office of the President

RE: blank checks (so to speak)

It has come to My Attention (!) that some academic chairs—you know who you are—will not receive their modest stipends this month.

Due to a glitch, a mistake, blunder, gaffe, oversight, misstep, human error, call it what you will (I know, I know, we're on a roll, folks! Unfinished classrooms! New locks without keys! An overheated greenhouse! A misdirected theater! Light poles sheared by mobile home movage!) the paperwork authorizing the stipends is missing, gone, AWOL. Apparently, the forms were dutifully filled out sometime last summer but failed to make it from one desk in A-200 to another desk—in fact, the paperwork seems to have disappeared in transit.

Let me assure you that Campus Police has been notified and has posted an All Points Bulletin, with lots of punctuation. They are conducting a full investigation. An unusual occurrence report has been filled out. Tape from security cameras is being reviewed, though at this point all that's been discovered is that people get grumpy at the Xerox machine. We have assembled a list of possible suspects, in both alphabetical order and chronological order. My Advisors now believe that the missing paperwork was either filed late or perhaps early, or maybe both. It's really premature in this point in the investigation to tell.

I know this comes at a bad time for some people, though certainly not me. I am having a good time. It's fun being president. I have a special parking spot. I have a window blind. I have a SeaDoo. Yet, this lack of timely compensation might be seen as both a hardship and yes, even an insult. Certainly, the beginning of the Semester makes it obvious that our attempt to compensate chairs for the actual work they do falls short. I know that even though chairs work throughout the summer, they are not compensated for their labor—which means that the trio of chairs left without their checks this month have not been paid since sometime last Spring. Imagine that! Of course we know that none of us at IVC are in it for the money, except for a few administrators and some instructors with 300 per cent overload.

But, as president, I recognize and acknowledge this crisis and want to show my faith in the fine faculty of this institution and so—tomorrow, I, the College President will, dispense personal checks in the amount of the stipends. Yes, my door is open. Of course, my door is always open. Brown bag lunches—come and get it. I won't bite. Ha, ha, ha.

Of course, I do expect to be reimbursed. Those lucky few who receive my personal checks can, once the district antes up, simply pay me back by purchasing a few additions to enhance my family's SeaDoo fleet. (Hint, hint: A sidecar! Vroom! A splashguard with a flame motif!)

Now, the rumor that these three chairs were singled out because of the united front they presented last spring when my lord and savior—excuse me, our Chancellor—visited their school meeting is entirely false. You may recall that during the Chancellor's visit, this very subject surfaced—the compensation of academic chairs—and the Chancellor and myself were rudely grilled by people who obviously didn't know their places. Imagine! Asking the Chancellor and the College President if, during their terms as department chairs—if we received adequate compensation in terms of reassigned time. The nerve! To interrogate one's superiors on whether we found the current model of stipend only plus full teaching load to be appropriate! I mean, really.

Of course, neither the Chancellor nor I are the kind of people who hold grudges, unlike that mouthy middle-aged woman who kept yammering about her inability to teach and manage a department. Other people don't have that problem. It's called cutting corners, babe. Chill out. In other words, don't work so hard. Others don't. I know. Why should you?

Furthermore, the scandalous gossip—yes, I have heard—that the Board and this Office were too busy negotiating six figure buyouts for administrators to be bothered with the small potatoes of faculty stipends is also patently false. There's enough money to go around folks. Don't worry. You'll get yours.

Ah, the Lariat

Last Spring, when the IVC Academic Senate signed off on demolishing IVC's beloved Clock Tower (Senator Chunk dissented, but to no avail), it was with the understanding that the Tower would be replaced. A new tower would be erected, we were told, near the "turnaround" between A100 and B100.


But, today, the Lariat reports as follows:

For now, there are no official plans for the tower's replacement.

"We have a few general ideas but nothing concrete to report at this point," [Director of Facilities and Maintenance Wayne] Ward said.

Oh?

Typical IVC SNAFUery. Just once, could the left hand please talk with the right hand?

Or was the guff about replacing the Tower just a lie?

Winners of the 2005 Ig Nobel Prize honored last Thursday

JUST FOR FUN, check out Improbable Research for the winners of this odd prize.

Scientists, et al., received awards

for exploring and explaining why woodpeckers don't get headaches

for showing that dung beetles are finicky eaters (Whence beetle pic?)

for inventing an electromechanical teenager repellant

for conducting experiments to learn why people dislike the sound of fingernails scraping on a blackboard

for calculating the number of photographs you must take to (almost) ensure that nobody in a group photo will have their eyes closed

for showing that the female malaria mosquito Anopheles gambiae is attracted equally to the smell of limburger cheese and to the smell of human feet.

Winners authored such articles as:

"Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly."

"Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage"

"Ultrasonic Velocity in Cheddar Cheese as Affected by Temperature."

THERE'S A FASCINATING ARTICLE about homework in this morning’s San Francisco Chronicle:

After years of teachers piling it on, there's a new movement to ... Abolish homework

According to some studies, the younger the student, the less beneficial is homework. Read the article. This "no homework" idea is not as wacky as it sounds. The article starts with a conversation with a homework-abolishing teacher whose students score highly on tell-tale tests.

EARLIER THIS MORNING, all of a sudden, Sunny the Cat got all weirded out. I looked out the window, and, Whaddyouknow? A deer was staring at me. I stared back.




RECENT POSTS:

Vote as if it mattered
His vision
Journalism at Irvine Valley College

Unfamiliar with DISSENT & the SOCCCD saga? Read:

• A brief history of our troubles
and
• WHO WE ARE

ABOVE: IVC VPI Dennis White's going away party.

Prez Rocky was on hand to note some of Dennis' contributions.

Gee, he must be sorry to see the Dennster go.

Oddly, the image below slowly emerged on a nearby wall. It was positively ghostly. Everybody was creeped out.

Naturally, there was prayer. But it didn't seem to take.


They tried to hose it off, but it wouldn't budge.

Someone speculated that it was an old photo of Raghu P. Mathur at college. Could be.

Then, suddenly, "poof," it was gone.

And so was Dennis.