Saturday, October 14, 2006

Last night's "H & L" deviltry


As anyone who knows anything about the South Orange County Community College District knows, Irvine Valley College's School of Humanities and Languages (H&L) constitutes a cabal—one that, for years, controlled IVC and perhaps the entire district.

We're talking circa 1980-1997: the "IVC Cabal Years."

The cabal's chief goals?
• To suppress chemistry & Voc Ed,
• to teach homosexuality & liberalism,

—and, above all,

• to thwart the ambitions of Raghu P. Mathur.
Until 1997, the cabal's aims had been achieved. (See A Brief History of the District.) But then, in 1997, a miracle occurred: Raghu Mathur ascended to the IVC Presidency, and, within a semester, the cabal was routed, Sodom and Gomorrah crumbled, and the shining city on the—er, in the valley shined. (Shone?)

By 2002, the by-then wildly-popular Ragster Gooster McMathur (as nobody calls him) became district Chancellor. Thanks to him, truth, decency, and competence have been restored, as you well know. (Re Mathurian competence and discernment, see Mathur hires: a record of excellence. See also Mathur & Poindexter/Gensler.)

ALAS, IN THE MEANTIME, on occasion, the H&L coven—or what's left of it—still assembles to lick old wounds (among other things!), recall old triumphs, sing old Russian folk songs, and sometimes even plot old machinations anew. (See Who they are.)

Last night at Chunk's place, these devils danced and drank and communed, and, though it may offend our moral sensibilities, they enjoyed themselves mightily—there, high in the Santa Ana Mountains, a demonic outcropping of peaks, valleys, and hidden catacombs where, reportedly, cabalists once provided lush spelunkular lodgings and bee honey to Ossama B. Laden and his disgusting infidelic "posse."


These vile & godless bastards even brought their children!

I found this tyke--he told me that he was named after a famous union "hero"!—playing with Beatles DVDs, which were mottled with obvious sexual imagery—pointy beards, green apples, table legs, and so on.

"I love the Beatles," he announced, to my horror. "John's my favorite Beatle!" he added.

In the TV room, I found this next fellow (note the quasi-pointy beard) holding forth, relentlessly condemning the supposed materialistic excesses of DirecTV programming!

"800 channels!" he roared, while scowling and sipping Red Tea.

Throughout the dark and humid evening, the H&L children frolicked in this fetid and viscous swamp of godless animal-loving antiestablishmentarianism. (Caution: the following images may be disturbing to sensitive people):




Subjected to such scenes, it was hard for me to hold my tongue and my slippery pilsner. The children's innocence—situated, as it was, in so dark a morass of secular or Unitarian filth—inspired within me a deep nausea so gut-wrenching that, sitting here now, the experience fully outstrips my capacity adequately to measure or convey it.

Garsh.

At one point, the children were encouraged to play "find the cat"—a seemingly innocent game that no doubt is meant to prepare them for future dark doings the full explication of which decency prevents me from providing—although I will say this much: that I spotted the Holy Bible sitting upside down (!) on a windowsill atop a box set of NBC's Medium (Season 1), which was itself glued to the crusted remnant of some demonic drool (or worse!).


That these shameless Nattering Nabobs of Vegetarianism (Unitarianism? Zoroastrianism?) would so carelessly leave signs of their dark ritualistic degradations for all to see inspires the faint hope that, some day, owing to a momentary lapse, the wily IVC Humanists will be exposed and destroyed and forever banished from God's vast mindless Creation.

Gawd, let's hope so.



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P.S.:

Last night, me 'n' a few other singles from The Christian Reconstructionist Hostel were bused to a sneak preview of Saw III. It was awesome! We stayed up nearly all night rapping about it.

That's it for now.


CHUNK w/ ADAM 'n' SARAH, SUNDAY NIGHT:

I make them listen to Polly Jean Harvey.

I offer Adam cash. He takes it.

Our reaction to news of root beer availability.

Upon teaching these two the secret ACLU handshake.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amber, you're one hot mama.

But you're also nuts.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Amber. You have confirmed what I have always suspected, that academics are godless and irresponsible. Thank you.

But Saw III--isn't that a "torture" movie? I'm sure you agree that no decent person would endorse....

Um, never mind.

Professor Zero said...

Love that Leninade!

Rebel Girl said...

Yeah, Leninade is great. One of the H&L crowd left it here at my place. I opened it and tried it and was horrified to discover that it is alcohol-free. Blech.

But the label sure is great.

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