Monday, January 25, 2016

Tonight's board meeting


     I was gonna go to tonight’s board meeting, but then I realized that I’d miss this week's episode of Fast ‘n’ Loud (Aaron’s racing up Pike’s Peak in his Falcon) plus part 2 of the new X-Files, which, I know, will be pretty shitty (at least last night’s episode was dreadful), but I’m kind of a fan.
     So, instead of reporting tonight’s meeting, I thought I’d briefly imagine it instead.
     It will probably start on time. Tim Jemal, the new board Prez, will ask the board Secretary (I forget who that is; it couldn’t possibly matter) to report actions taken during closed session. “I got nothin’," he/she will say.
     Then somebody—maybe Trustee Wright; he loves that shit—will lead the group in prayer: “Dear Heavenly Father,” he'll intone, “we realize that we’re unworthy human filth, but we beseech you and fear you and hope you can lay off of any more disasters and shit. Plus, I wanna put in a good word for our youngsters here at Saddleback College. Amen.”
'63 Falcon
     Then he’ll turn 90 degrees southward and commence pledging to the flag “of our great nation.”
     Natch, it will be downhill from there. Board members will report attending football games. They’ll say chirpy, silly things. Somebody will have to wake Gary for his report. They’ll issue prizes and listen, politely, to lots of jargon and gibberish and bullshit. They’ll approve everything.
     And then they’ll go home.
     A letter opener through the right ear? Mulder solicits sex from a handsome Indian dude? I’ve gotta admit: so far, this X-Files episode really sucks.

Be sure to read Tere's Board Meeting Highlights.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fast n Loud was pretty good, though. The '32 project snafus predictable, though, 'cause who buys "a sure thing" without checking for Bondo with a magnet and running a compression test, or at least removing a valve cover, duh!

Anonymous said...

The board meeting was exactly what you describe.

Anonymous said...

Love the prayer.