So, instead of reporting tonight’s meeting, I thought I’d briefly imagine it instead.
It will probably start on time. Tim Jemal, the new board Prez, will ask the board Secretary (I forget who that is; it couldn’t possibly matter) to report actions taken during closed session. “I got nothin’," he/she will say.
Then somebody—maybe Trustee Wright; he loves that shit—will lead the group in prayer: “Dear Heavenly Father,” he'll intone, “we realize that we’re unworthy human filth, but we beseech you and fear you and hope you can lay off of any more disasters and shit. Plus, I wanna put in a good word for our youngsters here at Saddleback College. Amen.”
Natch, it will be downhill from there. Board members will report attending football games. They’ll say chirpy, silly things. Somebody will have to wake Gary for his report. They’ll issue prizes and listen, politely, to lots of jargon and gibberish and bullshit. They’ll approve everything.
And then they’ll go home.
A letter opener through the right ear? Mulder solicits sex from a handsome Indian dude? I’ve gotta admit: so far, this X-Files episode really sucks.
Be sure to read Tere's Board Meeting Highlights.