Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Cynicism and skepticism unbound

     I've been thinking lately about IVC President Glenn Roquemore's world. From my perspective, it seems very odd.
David Gatewood
     For instance: just what goes on in the curious world of foundations and "partnerships"? No doubt some of my colleagues are familiar with all these odd doings with career assistance firms, corporate sponsors, awards ceremonies, and the like. Not me.
     And so when I received an email today from President Roquemore, inviting me to attend Vital Link’s “23rd Anniversary Celebration Mixer” (Nov. 8), I could only say: “What’s all this about?”
     My office mate shrugged.

     First of all, just what is this “Vital Link”? In fact, according to Roquemore's email, if one were interested in attending the mixer—an event that will honor three individuals, including Dean of Fine Arts & Business Sciences, David Gatewood—one would be obliged to RSVP, not the college, but, well, “Ruth” at Vital Link!
     Rocky, as is his custom, shed no light whatsoever on the nature of this Vital Link. We are left only with our imaginations. Classic Irvine Vallitude.

     A "CAREER EXPLORATION EXPERIENCES" FIRM? It appears that Vital Link, which is located in lovely Costa Mesa, “provides hands-on, career exploration experiences for high school students, helping them carve out their own unique career path.” If you’re a kid who’s unsure of your future, you can attend Vital Link programs, and they will allow you to “sort through your interests, get excited, and literally try on a career for a day.”
     I like the "get excited" part. I wonder who came up with VL's "hey, kid, wanna play pretend?" idea? Frankly, it sounds like something Lucy Ricardo might hatch. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I love Lucy.
     On the Vital Link website, we’re told that
   Vital Link is the central point of contact between businesses and schools. Since 1989, the organization has developed successful career exploration programs in Southern California. By working with Vital Link, your organization can increase its impact and effectiveness in your education and outreach efforts.
Ms. Coil
     VITAL LINK HONOREES. Well, this year, VL has decided to honor our own David Gatewood with the title of “Mr. Innovation.” How come? Don't know. Rocky didn't 'splain.
     The “Vital Link Ambassador” title goes to one Ann Coil of Coil & Associates, a career coaching firm whose motto is the chirpy “Go to work happy.” Coil is on the VL Board.
     Mr. Lindburgh McPherson, the third human honoree, will receive the coveted “Above and beyond” title. Evidently, he is associated with (and lives at) “Wilcox Manor”—a Tustin Old Town mansion that is made available “to a considerable number of non-profits and others….” (Since that building is in a residential area, such usage has pissed off the neighbors bigtime. Why does McPherson get away with that? Dunno.)
     Near as I can tell, Mr. McPherson is also the Business Development Manager of Medic-1 Ambulance of Irwindale.
     OK, he works for an ambulance company and lives in a mansion that hosts non-profit events. Why not?
Mr. Lindburgh
McPherson
     McPherson is also a member of the board of the Tustin Community Foundation. That board “is responsible for grant allocations made from Foundation funds and provides overall direction and policy for the Foundation.”
     McPherson is also on the “Community Development Block Grant” Committee, whatever that is. I think that means that he helps to secure state money for grantular things.
     And that’s not all. McPherson is also on the board of the aforementioned Vital Link. So that's the second Vital Linkster who's being honored—by Vital Link.
     What does it all mean? Dunno.

     Recipient of the “Supporting a vision” title is the Orange County Fair Events Center, which runs(?) the OC Fair, I guess. Or maybe it just runs the center.

     Finally, recipient of the “Making a connection” title is none other than Cisco Systems, Inc. You remember them. They’re a highly successful maker of “specialized computers that route information through a network—acting as a sort of data traffic cop” (see).

     THE MYSTERIOUS POWERS OF SPORTS MEMORABILIA. Well, our tour through this particular quasi-collegiate funhouse isn't over yet. The mixer will be held at something called the Newport Sports Museum, a facility (near Fashion Island) housing a collection of sports memorabilia. The Museum’s mission is “to motivate at-risk youth to stay in school, off drugs and away from gangs through the use of its historic collection of sports memorabilia and well-known athlete volunteers.”
     Among the organization’s “driving principles” [?] is that
a panel of athlete volunteers would demonstrate to at-risk youth the important role that sports had on their lives, including their educational achievements and experiences with drugs, alcohol and gangs.”
     I’ve got a question. How do you “use” a collection of sports memorabilia to motivate kids to stay at school and away from drugs and gangs? I guess the youngsters are supposed to hang around the Museum, ogling the old sweat shirts and photos. That would do it, I guess.
     Sports heroes aren't what they used to be, it seems. (Well, obviously, sports hero-worship was always a dodgy business.) I wouldn't want my kid to hang around those guys, that's for sure. They're liable to hand you a Bible and get you deep into some bad car wash investment.

Wilcox Manor in Tustin
     FIVE-STEP PROCESS. Let’s get back to that Vita-Meata-Vega-Min—er, Vital Link—organization. At their website, we’re told of the “Vital Link five-step process.”
     What’s that? —Ready? Here it is:
[Young people] Imagine, Explore, Discover, Experience and Connect to their future” and, thereby, they can “achieve their Dream Career.”
     No doubt (ahem) the process is grounded in the latest psychological research. I mean, it's not as though people are just makin' this stuff up!
     Evidently, Glenn has taken the Vita-Meata process to heart, for his invitation/communication ends with the words
“Please forward this e-mail to a friend and help us support Students as they Explore, Discover, Connect to their future Career.” [Capitalization in the original.]
     That's our Glenn. He's so into science.

Vita-Meata-Vega-Min

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now my head hurts. Stop it. Please.

Glen just likes to forward things.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather Glen send us an email about limited parking opportunities on work days.

Anonymous said...

David Gatewood is a great guy and it's nice he is being recognized but a little context to that email would have gone a long way and may have even generated more interest and support.

Anonymous said...

They actually allow high risk youth to "get excited?"

Anonymous said...

David is a great guy. Glenn could have supported him with a little more information. I'm sure David deserves the recognition.

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...