Tuesday, December 6, 2011

It's Convenient!



     Recently, gleaming "Convenience Centers" have appeared in the restrooms, affixed to walls, throughout [IVC] campus.
     Here is the one in the men's facility in A-200.
     It's worth noting that the female version of the "Convenience Center" lacks birth control (condoms) and cologne.
     Why?
     Quipped one IVC wag, it's because men are stinky and sexually active.
     Women are offered instead lip gloss and breath fresheners along with the usual array of feminine hygiene products.
     Interested in starting your own Protocol Personal Product Convenience Center franchise? Visit their website by clicking here.
     from their website:
     Since 1987, more than 30,000 Protocol Personal Products Convenience Centers have been installed in a wide variety of public places. Let a turnkey Protocol program turn a profit for you!
     Help your employees stay productive!
     Protocol machines offer employees immediate access to personal products. This allows them to return quickly to their duties. If your company employs healthcare professionals, now they can spend time more productively on other projects. Having employees purchase over-the-counter medications may relieve you of various legal implications.
     (Don't ask how Rebel Girl got this photo.)

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• CSU sees big jump in student interest (San Jose Mercury)
• Employers Say College Graduates Lack Job Skills (Chronicle of Higher Education)

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you're going to do this crap, then let's make some money. Sell some small bongs, needles, fruit flavored condoms, HIV test kits, parking permits and IPads.

Anonymous said...

how about rooms by the hour??

Anonymous said...

Pocket rockets!

gj said...

When I lived in the dorms at UCI, a company came to the university and apparently got its permission to put pantyhose vending machines in the women's dorms. They were freestanding, flimsy things things that probably only weighed 100 or 200 pounds.

The dorms were our homes, and we took great offense at a company coming along and putting a machine in our home without so much as a how-do-you-do.

We put our heads together and planned revenge. My roommate was an artist, and we persuaded her to decorate the machine and repurpose it to appear to be a condom vending machine. Instead of sizes and colors, it advertised itself as a dispenser of various colors and flavors of condoms.

After the machine was well-decorated, we broke into one of the men's dorms and left it there. I don't recall anything else that happened, but it never returned to our home.

Anonymous said...

That's an excellent story and a fine, fine prank, 5:41.

You should ask BvT sometime to relate the lyrics to the song that he wrote about Verano Place, the graduate student housing (at least back in the '80's), which was (at that time) pretty sketchy. A sample, relating to the minimal playgrounds on-site: "one finds cat-turds in the sand...."

I hope it's a whole lot better now--either razed or renovated.

Anonymous said...

Men are stinky? Really? 8:50 forgot edible panties...

Anonymous said...

100 miles down the road from you, and years ago during the AIDs crisis of the mid-80s, admin put condom dispensers in all faculty bathrooms.

Some female faculty members were, well, shocked. Offended. Aghast.

The best comment I heard from an older male was "I don't need a condom, I need a splint."

They're all gone now (the vending machines, not the faculty members), and I'll bet yours (ditto) will be, too, in four or five years.

gj said...

7:38, I also lived in Verano Place one summer. I never checked out the sand at the playgrounds, but my opinion was that, instead of drywall, the walls were constructed of thick, sound-conducting paper. Insulation was entirely absent.

Anonymous said...

They're not everywhere on campus - just in a few select restrooms. I do think women should be able to purchase birth control by the way, if the guys are being offered it.

It's nice to have some products available again in some restrooms.

Anonymous said...

You are so right, 4:21! I remember listening to the entirely audible snores of the person immediately below us, at night. My electric typewriter darned near drove the poor woman who lived downstairs mad (the snorer?---dunno). How did we ever get any studying done?!

Anonymous said...

Do the machines stock RU486 pills too?

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