Monday, September 26, 2011

The September 2011 board meeting—live and direct!

     (For a sunnier take on this meeting, see Tere's board meeting highlights.)
     It’s 6:05 down here in the Ronald Reagan room, and it’s time once again for the monthly meeting of the venerable SOCCCD board of trustees.
     The audience is the typical thin crowd thus far. No sign of the trustees. I’ll keep you posted.
. . .
     6:16: Two trustees have entered the room. A good sign!
. . .
     6:24: OMG! Don Wagner's in the room! He's jawin' with Tod Burnett.
     The trustees are fixin' to start up.
     6:27: Nancy Padberg opens the meeting.

     • No actions taken in closed session.
"Don Wagner is a leader among California Republicans."
     • Invocation: Marcia Milchiker asks for God's help.... Quotes Robert Lewis Stevenson. Then says "amen."
     • Pledge of allegiance: by Frank Meldau
     • Resolutions for Professors of the Year. Marcia reads each. This is gonna take a while. I miss Fuentes' contempt for faculty and for board opponents. All this worshipfulness and earnestness and reverence is about to make me puke.
Public comments:

     1. HAT LADY. A middle-aged lady in a hat and shades comes up to the podium. She indicate her interest in becoming Chancellor. Really. She lists her qualifications. She then indicates that she is preparing a lawsuit (against the district), something about a film or video class. I think I heard the mildly unpleasant sound of crinkling aluminum foil as she shifted her hat on her head. She's now left the podium. I catch Tere's eye. Her look is within the bounds of professionalism. I'm impressed.
     2. DON WAGNER, former SOCCCD trustee, present leader of the legislative anti-public education contingent, grandly steps up to the podium. He tells the story of his coming across Bill Hewitt on a plane to Sacramento years ago. He says: We had a long discussion. We didn't agree about everything. We've continued those discussions. I'm happy to report, says Don, that a friendship developed. When I heard that Bill was retiring, I started working on a certificate of recognition or appreciation or some dang thing. I discovered how much he's done. Wow. So, being a big shot Republican in Sacto, I had the State Legislature write a resolution. (He holds it up in the air. It's framed. It highlights some of Bill's accomplishments, which Don reads. The thing has a big green strip on it. It looks like something from an old cigarette ad.) Bill's real legacy: thousands of students who have benefitted from his work. On behalf of the people of Cal, thanks, Bill.
     Applause. Bill speaks: Acknowledges his "staff." Humbly explains that he could not have done all those magnificent things that he has done—he mentions some of 'em—without... yada yada.

Board reports:

     Bill Jay: no report
     Frank Meldau: thanks for the tour of SC, Tod, he says. Great football game and homecoming. Chili bowl cook-off was great, despite that pesky power outage.
     Marcia Milchiker: yes, no power for chili cook-off. Dang. But it was a great event. In the dark.
     T.J. Prendergast: Yeah, the homecoming game was great. I will be attending the water polo game.
     Nancy Padberg: yeah, I too went to the game. Saddleback's "Constitution Day" was wonderful, with a "big article in the paper."
     Dave Lang: Thanks IVC Prez Glenn Roquemore for something, don't recall what. It was a nice homecoming.
     Student trustee: puts tawdry crown on his head; then announces, "I won homecoming king!" He attended water polo games. (I think this kid hopes to be on TV one day.)
     Chancellor Gary Poertner: mentions accred follow-up report and strategic plan—two items tonight. They represent a "very huge effort." Thanked all of the people who worked so hard on the report, etc.

6:58: unanimous vote for consent calendar.

4.1 Presentation about Accred. follow-up reports:

     Roquemore introduces the team: IVC Senate Prez Lisa Davis Allen, Kathleen Werle, Saddleback Senate Prez Bob Cosgrove, VPI Don Busche.
     It's been a long journey. August 2010—we submitted self-study reports. January 2011: both colleges got warning status. Ouch.
     He thanks Gary Poertner for his crucial efforts.

     So here's the presentation:
It was like a dream or something
     Tod Burnett: it was an effective district-wide effort. Poertner put together a district steering committee. Yada Yada.
. . . (Trust me, you don't want the details)
(As you know, a camel is a horse designed by a committee...Just sayin') . . . (just how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Well, that's a very important question, of course. Let's see) . . . I do believe that I am in a coma now. I'm fairly certain that I'm drooling. I hear voices droning...
7:11 Kill me now....
I hear voices: ...we have found these delightful plastic forms. We have shoved turds into them, with great care. Behold the lovely product: remarkable things, aren't they? Behold their perfection. Wow we must be good.
I hear those voices again. We have been very diligent... Standards. Reports. Dedication. Excellence. Drool. .... Voices....
... I see trustee faces. Some are sleepy, bored. One seems pained, but that's probably about something else. The voices keep changing, droning. Drool....
It's 7:18. Kill me, kill me now.... We want to thank... I hear snoring. How many pinheads can angel on the head of a....? Constituent groups in the district.... Planning and decision-making.... Relevance...
Dysfunctional.... Tax-payers.... Werle handles that special recommendation....
College-wide discussion boards have been initiated.... Safe, transparent.... A policy on mutual respect.... Yeah, protect the worst faculty for decades..... respect.... Gotto have mutual respect....
The ACCJC Accred Teams will visit in November.
In January, the ACCJC board will meet, and they'll decide whether we should stay on warning....
We'll be notified in February....

The dream suddenly lifts.
Nancy: "thanks for a great report." Board members, any questions? NONE.

Next: district-wide strategic plan:

Poertner: very little difference between info item last time and what we have today, he says. Mentions one addition: establishment of a new DISTRICT facility between IVC and Saddleback College, a long-time desideratum. This may be the time to pursue that, what with the economy in the toilet.

Vote to accept plan: unanimous

Item 6.2: a cash-flow matter.... Borrowing money from ourselves....  They vote: unanimous.

Yada yada. I so miss Tom.

Too many notes, I think
6.5 Board Policy Revision....
     Lang has comment ... He offers suggestions re the wording of the code of ethics policy. Blah blah blah.
     Nancy P seems mighty peeved by this "wordsmithing." Wants to move things along. The sarcastic Nancy emerges. Marcia says, gosh, she likes all Dave's tiny changes. Well, ask to be recognized next time, snaps Nancy, the ruthless Nancy.
     Let's use "according" instead of "giving," says Dave.
     I think they're referring to this line:
Respectfully working with other Board members in the spirit of harmony and cooperation and giving each member courteous consideration of his or her opinion.
     Prendergast: maybe we should look up the word "according"; maybe the right word is "affording," says TJ. (He teaches P.E.) Nancy says, "affording" makes sense to her. Let's do that.
     (Good Lord. These people are in charge of colleges?)
     6.5 passes.

6.6 More revisions. Delegation of authority to the Chancellor. Discussion.
6.7 Resolution to rescind five grant-funded classified layoffs. Roll-call vote. Unanimous.
6.8 Academic personnel actions. Unanimously passes.
6.9 Classified personnel actions. Unanimously passes.

We miss you, Tom
7.1 Notice to board of ceremony to be held at Disneyland Hotel.
7.2 Reassigned time and stipends. Info only.
7.3 Speakers. No comments/questions.
7.4 Basic Aid Report.
7.5 Facility plan status report. No questions.
7.6 Monthly financial status report. No questions.
Reports from constituency groups:

Bill Hewitt
Saddleback College Ac Senate: blah blah
Faculty Association: no report
IVC Ac Senate: no formal report
Peebles/ATEP: no report
Roquemore/IVC: congrats faculty of year. Robert Young's lecture: paradise at middle age. Exploration of OC from an urban development perspective. Blah, blah.
Burnett/SC: thanks Cosgrove and Busche. Also Claire C-S. Blather about homecoming. Blah blah.
(Will this never end?)
Bugay: nice to be in a district that remembers 9-11.
Fitzsimmons: (too many words, too quickly said)
Et al.

7:57 adjourned (in name of student who died in skateboard accident).


Anonymous said...

Say hi to Don! Thank him for voting against the delay of the midyear stduent fee incease! Thank him for losing on that one!

Anonymous said...

Is Don giving Glenn the cold shoulder? Did they talk to each other?

Anonymous said...

Glen has cold shoulders, cold feet and a cold fish. Why would he want one of Don's?

Anonymous said...

Did Bill show any embarrassment about being honored by the current prince of darkness?

Anonymous said...

Bill was as pleased as punch. He wore a suit.

Anonymous said...

Your pal Marcia thanks GOD at a board meeting? Shouldn't you all be suing her now?

Anonymous said...

We could do without it, 1:02, but it's not like a constant stream of proselytizing.

Anonymous said...

Glen is incompetent!!! He needs to go!!!

Anonymous said...

Bill does not own a suit. He borrowed one from Bill Jay

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