Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Chancellor's Opening Session: chirpy, sans Elvis

Typical marmot
     [Update: be sure to check out Tere Fluegeman's official update of the Opening Session, which includes cool photos, especially the one with a fox jumpin' on Bob B's head!]
     I went to the Chancellor’s opening session this morning—foolishly, for I have a cold, and my perspective is both odd and unreliable, like that of drunken marmot. Everything I experience inspires slumber or abject irresponsible snarkitude.
     I showed up (at the Irvine Valley College Performing Arts Center) late and sat front and center. Nancy Padberg was saying something, girlishly. Don’t know what. I think I went to sleep.
     On my way in, a friend accosted me and informed me that Padberg, our new board president, had tried her best to emasculate the morning’s prayer, to move it to the merest of generic spiritual genuflakitudes.
     “Did she call anybody a ‘heathen’?”, I asked.
     Not this time. Dang!
     It was odd attending an opening session devoid of the usual lurid Mathurian, Wagnerian, or Fuentean elements. Cognitive dissonance, man. Nancy said something about new leadership in the district and how that was a good thing. (She was trying to be good, not bad.) Chancellor Gary Poertner got up and said wise and modest things. He said he’d probably been chosen for the job because he can work with people, all kinds of people. He heaped praise on his temp predecessor, Dixie Bullock, and described the positive change in climate between the time he left the district and the time he returned.
     It’s pretty clear that the district community is happy to have Gary as Chancellor. And Gary seems happy with his job, too. It’s all terribly positive. A chirpy situation.
     A student suddenly appeared to tap-dance in a performance that featured (beyond her face and feet and the lighting design) a red door, from which she hung upside down at one point. (I espied her navel.)
     It was about knockin’ down doors or something. Very symbolical.
     The Geek Twins—Bramucci and Gaston—briefly discussed new programs and coming technologies. They even offered a bit of their usual techno whiz-bangery and cornball visual humor. (At one point, the Brammster showed a photo of a woman and her pet raccoon. “Why?”, he asked.)
     Marcia Milchiker showed up, but I think that she was it, trusteewise, aside from Nancy. (When she was pointed out in the crowd during the subsequent FA meeting, Marcia gestured like Lucky Lindy in a ticker-tape parade.) Evidently, Prendergast was off doing his thing at his high school. Don’t know about the others.
     New administrative hires were presented or at least mentioned. People applauded. I fell asleep again.
     Some kid played Chopin on the piano. He was very good, I think. His performance didn’t seem to symbolize anything. Gary liked it.
     Gary offered some remarks about the dismal state budget and how at some point desperate politicians and officials might start eyein' the money our district gets via basic aid. So watch for that, but don't be frettin' about it. Gary ticked off a few more low-boil zingers, getting’ real quiet and real real—you could hear a pin drop—and that was about it.
* * *
If you have to ask why, you wouldn't understand
     This time around, it was decided that the Faculty Association (union) meeting would be held almost immediately after the opening session (normally, the meeting happens when folks are tyin’ on the feedbag in an echo chamber), so, there we were again, twenty minutes later, waiting for Lewis Long and the union gang to squawk their usual union squawk.
     That went pretty well, I guess. Lewis (or Bill Hewitt?) underscored the importance of the 2012 trustee race, which would involve four trustee seats: Williams’, Fuentes’, Lang’s, and Jay’s. By then, of course, Williams, who resigned as of a week ago, will have been replaced. Likely, that newbie will run for reelection (in 2012). However, said Lewis, two of the others might choose not to run. We all hoped that that was a reference to Fuentes and Lang. Dunno.
     Anyway, the union boys were quite right to emphasize the importance of the 2012 race. GET THAT? They noted the opportunity to sign up for automatic paycheck deductions, blah blah blah.
     Soon, evidently, candidates for Williams’ replacement will be making their case before the board. The final decision will likely be made at the next board meeting, which is two weeks away. (One assumes that the union is all over this. Sure hope so.)
     Lee Haggerty discussed contract negotiations. Dry stuff.
     The guest speaker was the President of the CCA, a fellow named Ron Reel, a half Cherokee, half-Irishman, evidently. Reel explained that, by virtue of membership in the CCA (the Community College Association), Faculty Association members are CTA members. And by virtue of the latter membership, they are members of NEA, the world’s largest union.
     Was he tryin’ to make us feel bad?
     Reel announced that likely CCA will merge with the CCC—the Community College Council, an affiliate of the Cal. Federation of Teachers—and that will mean that 94 (?) of the 112 California Community Colleges will have their faculty represented by one union.
     Reel seemed to think that that was epoch-shatteringly wonderful. I’m not so sure. You can read more about it here. (I think that voters will increasingly regard the CTA as the Great Satan of the war on educational incompetence. You wait.)
     The luncheon that followed seemed decent enough. Biscuits, lasagne, chicken, etc. I spoke briefly with our new Dean of Controversy. She seemed nice. I told her that IVC was a great place, and I meant it.
     Rebel Girl made me get drugs, and so I’ve taken ‘em. Hope they work.

TigerAnn says "hey"

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