Summer trivia, part 2

.

An old joke:

Q: What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A: A good start.

     Last time, I noted that Mr. Tom Fuentes once appeared in an episode of A&E’s “Biography” series—namely, the episode about the life of actor Buddy Ebsen.
     I have no idea what Tom said, but I imagine it was something like this:

“When I travel across this great laaand and encounter the good citizens of this blessed county, I often come upon those fine and simple people who remind me of Buddy and the joy he brought them with his ‘Barnaby Jones’ character, and his abiding love of God. And country. And the Balboa Bay Club….”

     Today’s tidbit of ephemera is even less substantial, if that is possible. For I have come across a new book of articles, edited by Desna L. Wallin, Ed.D. that contains an essay by that esteemed “scholar,” Raghu P. Mathur, Ed.D., the Chancellor (for twenty more days) of the SOCCCD.
     The collection is called Leadership in an Era of Change: New Directions for Community Colleges. Even a cursory examination of the book’s contents immediately reveals that it is the sort of work that future generations will scrutinize and puzzle over. No doubt, they will regard it much as, say, contemporary scientists regard medieval alchemy.
     Only it will be far less interesting.

     (I cannot resist noting that the title of Wallin's book, and the title of each of its many chapters, and even the title of its freakin’ epilogue all share the same idiotic format:

Bu duh bu: vuh vuh vuh

     Can a group of intelligent beings arrive at such a practice? Would any set of beings with IQs above that of a pumpkin ever embrace the idiotic custom of entitling everything—EVERYTHING—with a verbal monstrosity comprising a phrase, a colon, and another phrase?
     Absolutely not.)

     Wallin, who works at a God-forsaken community college in a God-forsaken state, describes her book thus: “In unstable times, effective leaders must not only be able to cope with the environment, they must also be able to shape it. Leaders in today's community colleges must fit that mold. Change leadership can be said to embody four essential characteristics that might be called the four 'A's.'…."
     The four “A’s”? How clever! How heuristically adroit!
     But wait! Surely, one might suppose, nothing worth saying could be captured or communicated in four fucking A’s.
     One supposes correctly.

     Mathur’s name comes up in Chapter 3:

3. Dynamic Leadership Development in Community College Administration: Theories, Applications, and Implications
Matthew J. Basham, Raghu P. Mathur
   In a rapidly changing environment, leaders must create dynamic teams that stretch traditional job descriptions and develop the skills and talents of both leaders and managers.

—Do take it all in, dear reader. And now consider this brief list. It will be familiar to anyone who has ever spoken with a person who has recently achieved—via "distance learning," of course—an Ed.D.

Dynamic
Teams
Leadership/learners
Skills (skill sets)
education delivery
Data (data-driven)
Competencies

     Now, I know from personal experience that many proud owners of an Ed.D are not stupid. Still, I say, only utter fools organize their thoughts around a set of buzz words. These are the people in charge of education reform.

     Some days, I seem possessed by the spirit of the Tea Party. I am drawn to simplistic ideas and specious arguments. I am strangely attracted to torches and clubs and I feel a compulsion to join others like me and to march noisily in search of victims of my blind rage and ignorance.
     At such times, I cannot help but to allow some of my own thoughts to mix with my Tea Partyesque spirit. I picture institutions and “fields” that attract the mediocre and produce “scholars” who cannot write or think or explain (or even recognize) the scientific method but who nevertheless are put in charge of whole systems of education.
     I see them scribbling into the night, producing perverse twaddle about “student learning outcomes” and “the four A’s.”
     I just want to burn it all down.
     There. Much better.
     A good start.