Friday, June 5, 2009

"The Vets are coming!" he shot back combatively

In this morning’s Inside Higher Ed:
Campuses as Vet-Friendly Zones
…Student veterans have become more visible on many campuses…, and colleges, preparing for an expected increase in veteran enrollment once the new Post-9/11 GI Bill takes effect this August, have taken notice. Many colleges have been stepping up their support for and outreach to veterans, by creating veterans' offices, streamlining their admission and registration processes, expanding their counseling center capacity, establishing mentoring programs, and training faculty and staff.

"I am very pleased. It seems like people have really started to understand that the veteran population is going to be increasing soon, and veterans are a little different than the average college student, the average 18-year-old, coming to school," says John Powers, executive director of Student Veterans of America. The number of SVA chapters has grown by about 15 chapters a month since January, and there are now 177 chapters in 40 different states, Powers says. “Everyone’s very, very motivated. Some of them are social clubs, but some of them are really changing policies,” says Powers.

“There are some universities out there that are fully prepared, they’re on board. Every college is different. You can have great admissions policies, but you may not have a veterans’ resource center on campus. The counseling center may be lacking,” says Powers….

Student Veterans of America

TOM SWIFTIES?

Speaking of coming up short, this morning, the New York Times’ Schott’s Vocab presents and initiates a competition of “Tom Swifties.”

What are those? you ask (me too). Well, “‘Tom Swifties’ are curious puns that monkey with the description of reported speech for comic effect.”

Schott offers these examples (among others):
“Who discovered radium?” asked Marie curiously.

“Show no mercy killing the vampire,” said Tom painstakingly.

I listed these ‘cause I either didn’t like or didn’t get the others.

Readers have already begun submitting their TSs. Here are some of my fave’s:
“I hear the president asked King Abdullah about the Saudi penalty for pickpockets,” Tom said offhandedly.

“I adore hamburgers,” he said with relish.

Oh I dropped my toothpaste behind the sink, he said, crestfallen.

“Is it time to burn the abortion clinics?” asked Tom inquisitively.

6 comments:

Bohrstein said...

My favorite is the crestfallen for most creative. The radium/Marie Curie one loses a point because I didn't get it right away and so this leaves it second (that'll learn it for making me feel stupid). The abortion clinic one is the least favorite, cause I still don't get it.

I usually update my facebook/twitter with a format like this, but I have never heard of the Tom Swifities. I'll have to give this a shot and see if anyone picks up on it.

Aw, what the hell, I'll try one or two here:
"I just bought soap!" he said zestfully. (eh? eh? *elbow nudge*)
This one is inspired by the Marie Curie one,
"Why should I care who came up with the atomic model?" said Niel boringly.

Anonymous said...

What! The "offhand" pickpocket remark wasn't your fave? How can this be? I think your "zest" TS would be improved with "I just sat on my soap!" (Get it? Full of Zest?) OK, I'm twisted. Yes, the "crestfallen" TS is quite good. -r

Bohrstein said...

It's third! Though, looking back - giving crest the prize for "most creative" was a mistake. Cause my top two weren't really decided on that it seems.

See, I'm a simpleton and I just went with the one that gave me the funniest mental image. I don't know why but dropping toothpaste is just funny - then to call yourself "crestfallen," is a cherry on top. This one actually has sort of a loose connection with something between The Girl (She hates when I call her this) and I. I won't go in to it. And come on, Marie Curie! You have to feel proud getting that one. Well, I do anyways.

I guess there are multiple ways to ingest something. You could sit on it, or eat it. The sad thing is, I already thought of the sitting on soap thing, but it wasn't to use the phrase "full of zest." I'm certain I could win the twisted contest any day.

So here's another draft:
"I ate my soap," Ralph Wiggum said, full of zest.

By the way Roy, I demand that you remove your music list - my girl visited the site and bought several songs and a freakin' CD. I rely on her for food money sometimes ya know. You silly guitar folk and your Ry Cooder. *haughty disdain*

Anonymous said...

"Hemingway! Suicide? Oh no!" he exclaimed in dead earnest.

--100 miles down the road

Anonymous said...

"Bring down the prisoner," he said condescendingly.

AOR said...

Dead Ernest! The best!!!
I can just sea the old man now.

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...