by intrepid girl reporter Lana LangA highly-rated IVC Professor and occasional contributor to Dissent the Blog was hospitalized Wednesday, following accidental exposure to an inane comment.
The incident occurred in the early afternoon of January 28, as the instructor was crossing the campus A-Quad. As a result of exposure to the overheard remark, apparently uttered by another professor, the victim began to experience flu-like symptoms, headache, nausea, dizziness, ennui, and near vomiting, in addition to some “unpleasant changes in skin tone,” according to the school nurse.
The toxic comment was reported to have been delivered by a “somewhat well-dressed woman” possibly in her early-thirties, with a “piss-poor make-up job and a dire need for some decent nylons,” who gave indications of being an instructor in the Social Sciences. The remark was delivered to a small group of students, apparently as part of a post-class wrap-up in front of the A-200 building, and is believed to have run as follows:
“All the universe is a series of energy transformations,” the instructor declared, in tones so solemn they had to be heard to be believed, “And I think that human consciousness too, is a kind of energy transformation, that’s what it is, and that could explain . . .”
—The rest of the pronouncement was not heard, as the victim, and primary witness, was overwhelmed by nausea and horror.
Managing only a few more staggered steps, she, the victim, who was on her way to class at the time, collapsed, toppling violently to the ground. Nearly unconscious, the young woman had to be rushed to UCI Medical Center for treatment in a hyperbaric chamber.Additionally, a few students were reported to have been slightly overcome by vague feelings of elation, but may not have suffered the full effects of the remark, reported the school nurse.
An IVC police officer said the tragedy should serve as a warning for people to stop saying things that are “so freakin' stupid.”
The occurrence serves as reminder that college professors have an obligation to at least attempt to make some sense when they speak, and to avoid comments that are completely lacking in intellectual rigor, said an unnamed school official.“Unless, of course, they are merely joking,” he added.
Completely empty-headed statements and other sub-moronic prattle should always be scrupulously avoided, he emphasized, “At least outside the classroom.”
◊ Contributor "Lana Lang" is in reality an IVC science instructor and wag. Note: "Lana" supplied the graphic of herself.
18 comments:
This post is fucking stupid.
So who is Lana Lang?
Lana is that woman who teaches in Chem, I think.
I don't think she's a Chem prof, maybe Math.
I hate to sound insensitive, but for some reason I don't find it plausible that someone else's remarks could make someone become this violently ill that they wind up with these "flu-like symptoms, headache, nausea, dizziness, ennui, and near vomiting, in addition to some “unpleasant changes in skin tone.” Sure, I wouldn't doubt that the experience was just unnerving for the instructor,and highly inappropriate for an someone else to make, but there had to be much more to the situation. To me it sounds more like drug involvement symptoms or something else going on with this instructor to make her so violently ill. It just happened at that moment.
P.S. You know like another illness that took effect, and it just happened at that moment. She could have had some condition, or something else. Of course, we'll probably never know since medical records are confidential.
The "S" on Lana's shirt is the clue to her identity! think of a female professor whose last name begins with "S"!
Good GAWD!!! Have you people ever heard of humor? Irony? Satire? These are among the most idiotic comments I've seen on this blog--and that is saying something (excepting 6:01).
It's a hilarious post, Chunk. Don't be discouraged by the comically challenged among us.
By the way, at my institution, the student-chosen Professor of the Year (a very big deal) was heard publicly--at the ceremony honoring her, no less, as well as in class--uttering eerily similar crapola. Some of us were reeling after that one, too. So much for some students' judgment.
Much appreciated, 6:04, but, really, I didn't post this. It was submitted by LL (not his/her real name) and we posted it in the spirit of encouragingfree expression and a multitude of perspectives, yada yada.
Hear that? You know who we are. If you wish to submit something, we'd love to see it. Speaking for myself, I'd even welcome stuff from our "opponents."
I do find it hard to believe that anyone reads LL's stuff and fails to detect that it is satire, i.e., spoofulosity. I did not actually speak with LL, so I don't know, but I rather doubt that this event bares any resemblance to any actual event. On the other hand, it does express, humorously, a point of view shared by many philosophers and scientists regarding New Age (and other) twaddle.
Funny + critical perspective = hell yes we'll post it.
Dottie?
Kathy?
I like Lana!
Oops! I didn't realize that it was considered to be satire at the time. I just know when I hear or see having a problem like this for some reason I take them seriously b/c I wasn't there at the time, just what's written in front of me. I don't have any clue who the person is. I guess it's an inside thing.
It's not an inside thing. It's obvious satire. That is clear from the absurdity of the events described and the writer's tone. Get a clue.
I think it's the geography teacher.
I think we're going to hell in a handbasket 'cause, increasingly, educators are uneducated dolts who can't tell the difference between a double-blinded experiment and a "Head-On" testimonial.
I think Lana teaches psychology.
you know there are other remarks that i have heard on this campus that makes me sick too!
lol
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