Thursday, April 12, 2007

Meeting with Congressman Gary Miller, GASBAG

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«Posted for RED EMMA!»

.EIGHT OF US FROM THE CANYONS met with Congressman Gary Miller (R-CA) on Wednesday, April 11, in beauteous Brea, at his district office, which is decorated with vintage Nixon election posters, I shit you not. The 42nd district is Nixon, Reagan, Bush and Wally George country, friends. It is gerrymandered (thanks also to the Democrats) to include only the most reactionary of the right-wing in a dozen cities and three counties!

.Attending this meeting were attractive and handsomely dressed citizens Jan, Steve, Debbie, Ed, Linda, Lorraine, Dion—and Red Emma. Miller shook hands with everybody and insisted on asking us our first names. He then repeated our names to us, as if reminding us of them.

.We all thanked each other for being there and I opened by asking the Congressman to hold a TOWN FORUM or TOWN HALL MEETING on the war.

.Yes, Red likes a challenge.

.I suggested that everybody there at the big shiny wooden table was against the war and eager for it to end and that the Congressman should host a public discussion on that theme. I had already been discouraged from this very proposal by his aide a few weeks earlier. Miller, who offers a kind of Reagan-Chuck Heston-cowboy-jock persona, opined that nobody ever comes to his town forums (he didn’t seem disappointed) and that he did not have time for that since “the Democrats have us on a five day working schedule to do two days’ work.”

.That was supposed to be funny. He grinned, which frightened me. But I persisted, offering what I thought were some winning reasons for both educating and hearing from his constituents, people like us (well, exactly like us, maybe only us) with sponsorship from the League of Women Voters or anybody he liked. I mentioned media sponsors like the OC Register, LA Times and OC Weekly. He responded by stating that he was planning some kind of telephone conference call mass-meeting—if I understood him correctly—which seemed to me to be a whole bunch of people listening to him instead of listening and watching—as we were doing, god help us, the big gasbag.

.He just would not stop about how darn busy he was. I interrupted (interrupting him turned out to be easy, and fun!) to ask if this planned virtual-meeting would focus on the war in particular, and he said—surprise!—“No,” and then told us that immigration was in fact his constituents’ number one issue, not the war.

.He summoned a chubby and fawning aide (Miller is a big man. Weirdly, everybody on his staff is small. Think Willy Wonka and the tiny Oompaloompas) to nod at this assertion. I tried again to suggest that the war should be a priority, regardless, and that we wanted a forum, and that it would be good for Miller to make it an issue because he was our elected representative and George Washington had wooden teeth and Betsy Ross knitted a horse.

.Somebody from our band of citizen lobbyists bravely offered that we could get “a hundred people, easy” to come out for such an event in the canyons alone, which was so frightening an announcement that Miller turned from arguing with me, and asked to hear from others. Steve jumped in, identifying himself as a Vietnam-era veteran, opposed to the war, the lies, the waste.

.Steve was thoughtful and beautiful, and he wears a suit nicely. Miller, who is not only large but physically quite painful to look at (big white teeth, orange hair, skin courtesy of Madame Tussauds) offered some pro-military bromides about sacrifice, identifying a whole cemetery-full of wounded and dead family and friends. He was, pathetically if unshyly, trying to out-military our vet. It was the obvious “Support the Troops” red herring, meant to shame us into—what, I wonder? Changing our minds? Enlisting?

.Thankfully, Ed jumped in, dislodging a few body parts and military dead now strewn across the shiny polished table, with an eloquent economic critique about the failing health of the nation’s markets and trade, offering that the war was harming our status and financial future. Miller disagreed, though I was not sure with what, exactly. It was hard to follow, and since I read only Paul Krugman in the liberal capitalist paper of record, perhaps the dismal science lesson here eluded me.

.Or maybe Miller is just full of shit. At any rate, he disagreed a lot. And talked a lot. Jan had warned us that, during a recent lobby day, she had met with him and couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Miller said he disagreed with Steve too, by the way, and that “win or lose” he was not in favor of a “date certain” end to the war. He said he supported benchmarks.

.I thought of a bench. Thinking of the bench made me want to carve my name or a dirty word on it, and I had to hold my hand back so I wouldn’t start whittling away on the big shiny table. Still, I couldn’t get that phrase “win or lose” out of my head. It sort of wiggled around in there like a small insect or, increasingly, a big insect and then a real big one, maybe Mothra.

.Interrupting, I tried to get Miller to explain what “win” meant, and what “lose” meant. I really did. I should have asked what a benchmark might look like—say, 100 more dead for a month, two hundred dead in six weeks?

.Linda asked him to consider the war profiteering, and he responded, unbelievably, by saying that fraud was built into all programs. He pointed to fraud and abuse surrounding—yes, hold on, wait, here it comes!—Hurricane Katrina relief. This is, of course, ironic for so many reasons, not the least of which is named George Bush.

.Linda, who does not suffer fools, tried to link the war to the opportunism and theft of the war industry, going all cause and effect on him, whence Miller, no slouch, reminded us that he was on the oversight committee (more irony), and that there was abuse and fraud everywhere!

.I think “everywhere” includes his office, but I did not mention that, nor did I mention the part about him being investigated by the FBI for, yes, fraud. (See Most corrupt, Ex-Aids allege abuse of power, Gary Miller can always get what he wants.)


.I did mention Blackwater and KBR, but he looked at me like I had just stepped on his toe or eaten his puppy, which I would have at this point. I kept going back to his job of discussing the war with his constituents, but he again said that immigration and not the war was “our number one issue” and that he was only one Congressman, and that the war was not his committee and that he got along with Democrats, and was a pal of Barney Frank, and that they wrote legislation together, how about that?

.That was pretty darn subtle political insider stuff, I guess, as I think I read somewhere that Barney is gay while Miller is a member of the Sonrise Christian School, whose mission it is "To create an environment where children can experience the love of Jesus as they grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man." So see what a cool guy Gary is. Some of my best friends are homosexual illegal immigrants.

.I recalled his foolish views about punishing undocumented Mexicans. I almost interrupted to say that immigration was also not one of his committees. I wanted to make sure of that fact. At home, later, after taking a few recreational painkillers, I looked it up. No, in fact Miller is not on any committees directly dealing with immigration. (See committee memberships.)

.I interrupted again (I was getting good at it), advising him that I understood how committees worked, and didn’t need a civics lesson. He got a little pissy. I went back to the town hall forum idea (the only horses I ride are dead ones) and he said, finally, that he would take it under consideration or something to that effect.

.Soon a cherub or some other flying creature, perhaps one of the monkeys from Oz, arrived to tell the Congressman that our fifteen minutes were over and his next appointment (no doubt the Ghost of Richard Nixon Support Committee) was waiting for him. After shaking and thanking again, I made a bee-line for Steve T, the tallest little aide, with whom I’d met earlier, and asked him when Miller would be in the district again, and when we might think about a town forum. Meanwhile, my fellow citizen lobbyists chatted with Miller, Debbie giving him some moral and political instruction about not killing people. She made direct eye contact (brave woman!) and gave him what she calls the “John Nichols 10-10-10” in an attempt to bring a sense of urgency to ending what she calls “this senseless carnage” (I don’t think she meant the meeting). Here it is:

Every 10 minutes an Iraqi dies
• Every 10 hours an American dies
• Every 10 days we spend 10 billion of our national treasury


.Thus ended our citizen lobbying effort. Methinks we showed a lot of restraint. Nobody once mentioned the bit about Miller being investigated for fraud as the result of not one, but two bogus land deals. (Naturally, he was a “developer” before being elected).

.Of course, if you visit the above link you could choose to embrace further despair (and who doesn’t need more of that?) by noting that this crook is, yes, a member of the House Subcommittee on Oversight and Investigations, where he is the Ranking Minority Member.

.Which is just pretty darned perfect. —RE


Andrew Tonkovich

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

The war in Iraq is over, Chunk. The country is now in reconstruction and the US is providing security. All of our heavy war-fighting equipment and units have been re-deployed.

Nevertheless, there is a battle that is just now beginning.

And that battle stretches for as far the eye can see. It is a battle of good versus evil, a battle of Republican versus Democrat, a battle of honest, hard-working flatlanders versus coastal urban elites, a battle of all those who love this country unflinchingly and reflexively versus those who hate this country. It is, in a phrase, the mother of battles. It is a war.

Anonymous said...

"hard working flatlanders" includes the wealthy and privileged scions of robber barons, too, isn't that correct?

Anonymous said...

"those who love this country unflinchingly and reflexively" is the perfect mindset for Munich in 1936.

Anonymous said...

Very entertaining account of your visit with the Congressman. I see that your getting some interest on Blognewsnet. Rightwingers like to read negative stories about each other. But your efforts here are positive and appreciated. What kind of country is it that lets the likes of this guy serve in Congress? Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

"What kind of country is it that lets the likes of this guy serve in Congress?"

Are you for real? I suppose you think the Clintons served our country well? YGBSM!

Anonymous said...

The guy’s constituency elected him because of his position on the war and you’re there to try to get him to change his mind? Good luck. Gas-bag, crook, Chuck can’t you get on without the name-calling? I think you need to go check-in to the horsepital Chuck. Oh Wiiiillber!

Anonymous said...

Hey, guys, RED EMMA wrote this post! Get with it.

RE, you made me laugh out loud (although I should have cried), and I thank you for that on a looong Friday afternoon in the office. Thank you for those multiple interruptions and for your quixotic quest to get the fellow to get real for a minute. No dice--but thank you, anyway, for trying.

Anonymous said...

Red Emma, you hurt our cause more when you make light of the war in Iraq and the debate surrounding it. Your post makes us look like fools and won't help us keep dialogue with his office. Maybe you should concentrate more on teaching and less on blogging.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the comment above. You win more friends with honey than vinegar.

Is Red Emma a teacher? What do they teach?

Anonymous said...

hmm, me thinks the Congressional rep who dresses up like a Confederate soldier and complains about working a five-day work week to working folks while supporting an unjust war that is wasting money and lives is the real fool...

...not the person who pens satire about a meeting that few others would ever take the time to do...

...but that's just me on a Friday night.

I know the rest of you out there are doing your part while criticizing others. Right?

Anonymous said...

You're thinking in the wrong century, 12:33. Lay off the doobies for a day or two and reality will return.

Anonymous said...

Should he side with the north and not the south?

Anonymous said...

8:38,

I know you personally and have shared my thoughts with you. Don't try to put this on someone else.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I didn't post completely and it didn't make sense. I know your type and have spoken to people like. You're right, we should take the time. But in a Republican district like this we should try to reach the moderates, not those we already have. So, please do not blame others you have a different strategy on winning.

Anonymous said...

My computer keeps cutting out words and sections, and posting incomplete. Lets just agree to disagree.

Anonymous said...

Please ignore the 8:54 post. I mixed it up with a post for another blog. I was addressing the 8:38 post but meant to include what I wrote at 9:05.

Anonymous said...

I read your blog for comedy and am impressed he met with you. I'm voting for Miller.

Anonymous said...

You liberals crack me up. You make fun of someone who disagrees with you but made time to meet with you. I for one hope he shows you the same respect and doesn't meet with you again.

Roy Bauer said...

Just for the record: Red Emma wrote this post, but he left the title to me, editor Chunk.

I guess the title strikes some as a tad edgy. Well, I guess so.

Originally, it was simpler: Gary Miller is an asshole.

I tried to contact Red to run that by him, but I had no luck. So I went with "Gasbag."

I shoulda stuck with my first idea.

Anonymous said...

uh, Red is no liberal - what ever that means anymore - can't you tell? - though I do like how it rolls off your tongue, baby.

Anonymous said...

The Congressman "made time" to meet with constituents?

Isn't that part of his job?

Anonymous said...

Hey, 8:38, I'll lay off the doobies if you put the Kool Aid away.

I notice you had little of substance regarding your absurd claim that Republicans care about the "hard working flatlanders," though.

All the Republicans in power care about is their uber rich friends and kissing evangelical butt to get more money. Unless you can offer a reasonable counter argument, of course.

Anonymous said...

Thanks 8:50 for calling us "elites."

That's a good thing, right? As opposed to
the "dregs"?

Anonymous said...

me, I belong to the riff-raff.

Anonymous said...

I love a man in uniform.

Anonymous said...

Red seems to think that even if he didn't vote for Miller the guy is STILL supposed to represent him.

Ha.

Miller presents his own interests and the way they've gerrymandered the district, he's in there life no matter what. He is accountable to no one and he knows it. Hold a town forum? Why?

Anonymous said...

Red Emma and Chuck sound like douchebags.

You all sound so childish with this post. Thanks for holding all of us back with stopping the war by calling folks names like asshole.

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...