Tuesday, October 17, 2006

My Beautiful Laundrette


REBEL GIRL, reporting from Irvine Valley College:

LATE LAST WEEK, in an early morning raid, Bio-Nite commandoes liberated a washing machine, which had been rudely padlocked, allegedly by a member of the School of Fine Arts.

Said machine and its accompanying dryer were always the property of the School of Fine Arts; that fact is not in dispute.

However, for some time, the two machines had been stored in Bio-Nite Territory where they were used to wash the thin nylon costumes often seen in Fine Arts productions. In recent years, an accord had been reached and ratified by the two factions, which allowed the Bio-Nites to utilize the machine for purposes deemed more serious (the cleansing of laboratory garments). This access was seen as an exchange for the continued storage of said machines in Bio-Nite Territory.

During the recent funding round, the Bio-Nites were successful in their quest for monies to purchase their own machines--and when approached, the Fine Arts faculty declined to share in the expense.

This turn of events apparently inspired the actions that led to the padlocking of the washing machine by someone acting in the interests of Fine Arts. Fit of pique perhaps? A long-simmering tantrum of resentment?

Whatever the motive, the Bio-Nite Liberation Army (BNLA) commandoes moved into swift action, and said machine was liberated via a device identified by a renegade art historian as either an "Oklahoma picklock" or a "Texas nutcutter."

All parties involved declined to state their names, leaving Rebel Girl unable to fill in the details.

David of Bio demonstrates recommended posture for wielding Texas nutcuttlery.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

All the fun staff happens at your college!

Anonymous said...

Cute!

Anonymous said...

almost better than the movie! Almost.

Anonymous said...

Your account of the washer being locked is incorrect, the washer was locked due to nightime custodians using the unit and leaving it filthy after washing mop and broom heads, then leaving it to others to clean the machine before they could use it, it had nothing to do with the Bio Dept...

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

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