Thursday, December 1, 2005

Kick 'em to the curb!

I sometimes realize that I haven't got a clue what goes on in the lives of my students. I kinda know what music they listen to (as long as they’re listening to the White Stripes). But I have no idea what TV they watch.

They sure as hell don’t watch what I watch. You know, Nova and Medium and Meet the Press.

A couple of days ago, the IVC community got an email from Roquemore’s secretary about a "casting call" for some MTV show called "Next!" Attached to the email was a poster. (See.)


Evidently, the show is produced by the same people who brought us "Date My Mom," whatever that is.

I asked some of my students about these shows. "What's 'Next'? What's 'Date My Mom'," I asked.

Naturally, they knew all about ‘em. In fact, they regarded me as if I had just confessed to never having heard of Christina Aguilera! Gawwd!

I found the show’s website, and I checked it out.

—Let's just say that, if you like the idea of stupid surfers representing students and "hotties" representing the raison d’etre of education, then you’ll just love "Next!" representing dating.

Here’s how MTV describes the show:

Ever wish you could bail in the middle of a bad date? Well, NEXT is the MTV show that lets you do just that. We'll set you up on 5 dates. The minute you get annoyed, angry or just plain bored, simply kick 'em to the curb by saying "NEXT", and start over with someone new. Don't feel too bad for the ones you give the boot. They'll get cash for every minute they last and the one who makes it to the end gets a chance to turn the tables. They can choose to go on a second date with you or take the money and run. So be careful what you do, because sooner or later you could be the one hearing the word "NEXT." (My emphasis.)

I watched a video clip on the website that allegedly captures the “best moments” of the first season. It’s exactly what you’d expect (I'm going from memory, so I might not have the dialogue exactly right):

CLIP: a gal, maybe 18, walks up to a seated young guy who’s checkin’ her out. Even before she says anything or her butt hits the chair, he rolls his eyes and buries his face and shouts “Next!”

What a gracious fellow!

We get a shot of the girl’s expression. (Funny, eh?)

CLIP: a young guy is looking at his “date,” but he looks worried. She scrunches up her nose and says something like, “You kinda stink.” He says, “What do you mean?” She says: “Maybe like cat piss.”

What a gracious gal!

The camera cuts back to the guy’s forlorn face. We’re having a good time!

CLIP: a woman in her forties is getting a back rub from some young guy. Supposedly, she’s trying to convince the guy to date her daughter, but it’s more like she’s tryin’ to get into this kid’s pants herself! She says, “I like it rough, really rough!” She barks or grunts or something. We see the young guy’s face; he’s looking into the camera. He’s looking into the faces of young people like himself--apparently, the only people who exist. His face is saying, “God, as IF I’d EVER play hide the salami with this geezer!” (Ha ha ha ha ha!)

--Well, that last one was from the clip reel for “Date My Mom,” not "Next!", but, after a while, all these shows seem the same.

I Googled “Next!” and found a clip from the show “Talk Soup,” a program that dispenses snideries and cheap shots at the most embarrassing moments of each week’s “reality” programming. This particular clip showed Talk Soup playing ten seconds of “Next!” in which two young people are at a bar on their “date.” The girl says she’s very nervous. The camera then cuts to the floor beneath her, which is wet with beer.

–No, not beer. Urine! She gets up off her stool and we see that she’s so nervous (I guess) that she’s peed herself. The guy looks at the stool and yells, “Next!”

What a gentleman!

He stands back. He says, "Are you nuts?" The camera cuts to the girl’s horrified face. (Ha ha ha ha!)

Let’s face it. These kids watch some sh*tty TV. And their TV watching doesn’t seem to be balanced with some opposite kinda TV. What would the opposite be? CSI?

I don’t want to campaign against this crap. It exists, and there’s nothing I can or would do about it.

But we’re a college. Shouldn’t we at least refrain from EMBRACING it?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

To their credit, a couple years agao, the school district in Laguna (K-12) rescinded their original agreement to have MTV on campus - recognizing that it wasn't in the best interests of their students and wasn't really in line with their educational mission - in fact, it undermined their educational mission and put their students at risk.

To say nothing of the sleaze factor.

Please.

Why can't we be the kind of college that hosts events that actually enrich our students lives instead of rip them off?

Sigh.

Anonymous said...

I'm all for CSI on campus.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Chunk, this one broke my heart and blew my mind like no other post you've made--and that is truly saying something. How is it possible that real human beings can be so obtuse, morally handicapped, perverse, corrupt? I don't mean the greedy slobs who make those TV shows (although the questions do apply). I mean Glen Roquemore. My condolences, as usual. Thanks for keeping us horrifiedly informed.

Rebel Girl said...

Rita:

Don't be too hard on old Glenn, cuz it's possible that he wasn't even in the loop--that's his favorite spot, it seems--and that some knucklehead over in the Student Services building came up with this.

I can just imagine: "Hey, I know, don't the kids like MTV? Let's get MTV over here! It would be groovy!"

If you're gonna do that, you may as well put "Live Nude Girls" on the IVC marquee. That'll bring 'em in, and it will correct the fact that we're like 55% female around here. (Not me. I'm 100%..well, never mind.)

Thanks for writin'.

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...