Letting Go

It's that time of year.

Me, we travel to this place (some call it the poor man's Galapagos) on the Sea of Cortez, about a third of the way down the bony finger of Baja California, where the desert meets the sea in ways I have only known in Greece (think Mani) and we let go. The whole year ends there and another begins. Yes, we know it's just a construct, these calendar pages but at the same time it's a useful construct and the earth does turn and the days do begin to grow again. The light gets longer, the darkness shorter. We come back from our week, our 10 days, our fortnight and we're ready to do it again. Something about the sea there, the rocks, the sea turtles, the people who care for them, the creak of the pelicans' wings, the flash of the fish jumping from the water, the islands, over a dozen jutting out from the blue, the quiet sunrises, the enormity of the spreading sand, the white beauty of the animal and bird bones I find there every year bleached by years in the sun. Years. Bahia de los Angeles.

Years ago, John Steinbeck and Ed Ricketts were frightened of what they found there. Read all about it in "The Log from the Sea of Cortez." We were too, our first trip. It was too much. Now it no longer is. It is just right.

We let go of a lot of things this year, some willingly, many not so. It was hard. Still is.

I wake some mornings and imagine that death—a stooped figure—cackles in the corner of my bedroom. Death is a bad actor, a stock character whose cheesiness embarrasses me; after all, my consciousness must have created the creature. Still, it is forceful, frightening despite its cartoonish nature, persistent. This has got to stop, I tell myself, I tell the dream figure before it fades. But, of course, it won't. Death lives with life. Those bones on the beach, the ones beneath my own skin, my friends, my family, those in the family of things here, known to me and unknown, all living and dead.


And now, another Mary Oliver poem for my friend who I don't see often enough but who was kind enough to write:

In Blackwater Woods

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars
of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,
the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders
of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is
nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned
in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side
is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

- Mary Oliver

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forcing the issue can suck

▼▲ BACK IN THE 60s, I was a Boy Scout, a member of Troop 850 in Villa Park. Later, my dad and I started a troop in the Anaheim Hills (Troop 536, sponsored by Trinity Lutheran Church).

In those days, attitudes were different of course. Scoutmasters routinely led kids in rituals of simple-minded “love it or leave it” patriotism. My troop admired the local Marines. (I still admire them pretty much as I did then.) But I don’t recall any Scout leader ever supporting or even mentioning the war. The war was viewed as too political, too much a matter of personal opinion (among parents—kids didn't talk much about the war).

And I don’t recall an emphasis on religion. For us Scouts, religion came up as an annoying break in the fun on Sunday mornings on campouts. For an hour, Protestants would go off to do their thing and Catholics would go off to do theirs. (Other groups were accommodated whenever possible.) Mostly, though, religion was viewed as each Scout’s private business. And if a kid was a non-believer, an effort was usually made to keep him out of the crosshairs of bigotry.

I do not recall homosexuality being addressed in any way. Admittedly, Boy Scout leaders viewed male homosexuality as most people did in those days. But there was no explicit policy about it or against it. No one ever talked about it.

● WELL, AS YOU KNOW, that changed. Much later, the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) embraced an explicit policy of exclusion of atheists and, especially, gays. Back in 2002, the BSA adopted a Resolution according to which

…homosexual conduct is inconsistent with the traditional values espoused in the Scout Oath and Law and … an avowed homosexual cannot serve as a role model for the values of the Oath and Law

I appreciate the problem for BSA posed by Scout leaders who are “avowed homosexuals” (although there’s avowed and then there’s avowed). It isn’t always good to force an issue as some gay Scout leaders evidently did. Sometimes, that sort of thing makes matters worse.

But why did the BSA have to embrace the notion that “homosexual conduct” is contrary to Scout values? Why go there?

So the BSA went where it went, and that involved the BSA self-identifying as a kind of private religious organization that excludes certain people.

● A RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION? Well, the BSA may want to find the guy who counsels Scouts on their “Litigation” merit badges, ‘cause the California Supreme Court will soon consider whether the BSA are ineligible for receiving state aid, seeing as how they’re some kind of religious organization! Here are excerpts from this morning’s San Francisco Chronicle (High court may take up question of Scouts' religious status):

Six years ago, the Boy Scouts convinced the U.S. Supreme Court that their deep-seated principles gave them a constitutional right to exclude gays and atheists. Now the California Supreme Court has been asked to look at the other side of that coin—whether the Scouts are a religious organization ineligible for certain types of government aid….

U.S. District Judge Napoleon Jones ruled in 2003 that the Scouts—who require members and leaders to believe in God, and who have numerous faith-based programs—are a "religious organization with a religious purpose and a faith-based mission.'' He said the city's preferential treatment, granting a no-bid lease [of property, in San Diego] to the Scouts for a nominal fee, was therefore unconstitutional.

The federal appeals panel wants the state Supreme Court to decide whether the lease violates the state Constitution's strict bans on government aid and preferences for religious institutions….

The ACLU is involved. It doesn’t look good for the BSA.

● ACCORDING TO JUBAL at the conservative OC Blog, the “The Orange County United Way has cut all funding to the Orange County Council [OC Boy Scouts] from 2006-2009.” That factoid yesterday inspired the OC Register’s Steven Greenhut to opine: “The [OC United Way] has given some excuse for no longer funding the scouts, but the Boy Scouts have been long under attack for not accepting gays.”

Greenhut could be right about the United Way’s true motives, I suppose.

● "FORGET THAT ORDER." This stuff reminds me of a story told by former WAC Johnnie Phelps.

(Note: since I first wrote this post, I have become aware that some knowledgeable, if partisan, individuals assert that Phelps' account is fabricated or the result of delusion. See, for instance, the research of Lois Beck, Pat Jernigan, Margaret Salm.)

Phelps claimed to have an encounter with General Dwight Eisenhower (when, according to her, she served on his staff during the postwar occupation of Europe) in which Ike saw the wisdom in not forcing the "lesbian" issue. Here’s Randy Shilt’s account (see page 107) of that conversation:

…Phelps admired Eisenhower as a soldier’s soldier who genuinely cared for his troops and would never order them to do something he would not do himself. Out of respect for Eisenhower, Phelps would never have lied to him, which was why she knew how to answer the day he called her into his office and said he had heard reports that there were lesbians in the WAC battalion. He wanted a list of their names, he said, so he could get rid of them. That, Phelps suspected, would be a tall order, since she estimated 95 percent of the WAC battalion … was lesbian.

“Yes, sir,” Phelps said to the general, according to her later account. She would make the list, if that was the order. Then she reminded Eisenhower that the WAC battalion at his headquarters was one of the most decorated in the Army. It performed superbly, had the fewest unauthorized absences, the least number of venereal-disease cases, and the most infrequent number of pregnancies of any WAC group anywhere. Getting rid of the lesbians would mean losing competent file clerks, typists, and a large share of the headquarters’ key personnel. “I’ll make your list,” Phelps concluded in her crackling North Carolina accent, “but you’ve got to know that when you get the list back, my name’s going to be first.”

Eisenhower’s secretary, also in the room, corrected the sergeant. “Sir,” the secretary said, “if the General pleases, Sergeant Phelps will have to be second on the list. I’m going to type it. My name will be first.”

According to Phelps, Eisenhower looked at her, looked at the secretary, shook his head, and said, “Forget that order. Forget about it.”

(For a discussion of the factual refutation of Phelps' story, see comments below.)

▼▲ This morning, I read about some undertakers making a beefcake calendar for charity: R.I.P. the shirt!. See the pic (Men of Mortuaries) above. I put it up there to catch your eye. I can be tricky like that.

Um, plus it’s a slow news day.

Good news and bad news for veterans & historiphiles

▲ THE LAST OF JOHN LENNON'S FBI FILES. As you know, UCI's John Wiener, a friend to DISSENT & Dissenters, is known for his work, as a historian, on secret FBI investigations and files. Check out articles in today's New York Times and LA Times concerning files re Lennon that had been withheld for more than 25 years for security reasons but that have at long last been released. Turns out the security reasons were bogus all along.

Trust the government? I think not.

▲ SHOW ME THE MONEY. There are lots of unhappy campers among local veterans this morning. They're pissed, but things could be a lot worse.

The OC Supervisors OKed a plan that would preserve the north blimp hangar of the old Tustin Marine Air Station by offering it to a corporation that would turn it into a sports complex. Hence, it now seems, the hangar won’t become a military museum, as some had hoped.


On the other hand, it seems likely that Industrial Realty Group Inc. (IRG), unlike the veterans group that proposed a museum, really has the money to make their plan work.

And so at least the hangar is spared demolition. Don’t know yet about the south hangar.

The SOCCCD's Advanced Technology & Education Park (ATEP) is very near the north hangar. My own view is that, beyond keeping veterans and historiphiles happy, preservation of the north hangar would be good for ATEP and the SOCCCD and, so, should make us happy too.

From the OC Reg’s Military museum plan loses out:

Tustin's historic blimp hangar will be turned into a $100 million sports-themed complex called "Play" under a deal approved Tuesday by the Orange County Board of Supervisors.

The extensive plan by a private company beat out a proposal by veterans, who wanted to build a military museum….

The three supervisors who voted in favor of the deal … said the plan would preserve the iconic hangar without cost to taxpayers. Supervisor Bill Campbell, who represents Tustin, urged veterans to work with the developer, who plans a military memorial as part of the project…"Come up with something that honors what (military veterans) did and keep this blimp hangar here," Campbell said.

…The 17-story hangar, along with another one to the south, were built in 1942 and first used for the military blimps that patrolled the coast. They have become part of Orange County's geography and history, housing helicopters after the blimps were phased out and now being used for movie and commercial shoots. Tustin is still considering proposals for the south hangar….

Here’s the Register’s description of IRG’s plan:

What is 'Play'? The $100 million "Play" proposed by [IRG] is being billed as a sports, recreation and leisure center within the 150,000-square-foot blimp hangar. Plans include:

•Basketball, volleyball and gymnastics courts
•A 150-foot rock-climbing mountain
•A 25,000-square-foot "sports demonstration zone" for celebrity tennis matches, skateboarding half-pipes and BMX bike shows
•Two levels of sports-related retail stores and restaurants
•An entertainment plaza for outdoor concerts
•A 20,000-square-foot veterans exhibit
•A cinema complex

PHOTOS: NEAR ATEP & THE NORTH HANGAR:

The Family of Things

MORE POETRY today from Rebel Girl who is trying to muster up the energy to finish grading, compile the summer schedule, pack for Mexico and relate to you all the sad tale of her student and maybe yours who needs assistance perhaps more than he knows. More on that later but get your checkbooks ready. Rebel Girl has opened a savings account at the teachers credit union with his name on it and will be asking, soon, for your donations.

Meanwhile, poetry, from the inimitable Mary Oliver.

RG's colleague, L.T., who has given her many things through the years, both tangible and intangible, once gifted Rebel with a collection of Oliver's The Leaf and the Cloud, which introduced her to this fine poet.

Poetry helps—it does, it does! Here is some advice from William Carlos Williams (from "Asphodel, That Greeny Flower,") before the Oliver poem finally arrives:

"It is difficult/to get the news from poems/yet men die miserably every day/for lack/of what is found there."

Indeed. Another day I'll write the essay about how in high school I picked up William Carlos Williams in the library because I thought the middle name Carlos suggested he was of Mexican descent like me...For those of you who don't know, he isn't.

And now the poem:


Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting—
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Equity

Check out this new publication: Defending the Community College Equity Agenda

Discussed in this morning’s Inside Higher Ed

On the good ship Nincompoop

▲ DEMONIZING ADOLF? Remember (former SOCCCD trustee) Steve Frogue’s pal MICHAEL COLLINS PIPER? [His fate: HERE.] He used to work for Willis Carto's Spotlight, a wacked-out anti-Semitic newspaper. Nowadays he has a radio show on the nearly infinitesimal Republic Broadcasting Network called the “Piper Report.” I checked out Piper’s radio archive and found that among his guests has been Willis Carto. Need I say more? No, but I will.

Here’s a description of a recent show:

…Piper featured a provocative interview with [guests]… discussing … the fact that the primary reason why the United States and Britain were so determined to wage war against Adolf Hitler was because ... Hitler had begun to implement a bartering system ... in order to circumvent the machinations of the international banking houses in the sphere of influence of the infamous "City of London," the center of global finance operating under the control of the Rothschild family and their satellites in Europe and the United States….

Ah, the old “Jewish bankers” conspiracy theory. Piper is an idiot.

The description goes on to refer to the “controlled media” and its desire to “carp on and on about the much-talked about ‘Holocaust,’ which [the guest] noted, quite correctly, is the subject of much propaganda and exaggeration….”

Any nation today, it goes on to say, “that dares challenge the banking elite…will find itself and its leaders demonized by the mass media, precisely as Hitler was demonized and is demonized today.”

I wonder what Steve thinks about all this?

▲ THEY REALLY ARE LIKE THAT. In this morning’s Inside Higher Ed, there’s a mildly amusing story about a Harvard recruiting video that went badly wrong. The brief video was an attempt to make Harvard’s Economics Department website “more personal." Unfortunately, the two professors who appear in the video come across as “stodgy and stereotypically self-important.”

Yup, they sure do. At first, their performance looks like a parody of, well, the Harvard Econ Department. But no. One soon realizes that everything one feared might be true about such a place is indeed all-too-true.

Naturally, the video found its way onto YouTube, whereupon it inspired parodies and the like.

On YouTube, one poster wrote “It’s like watching paint dry.” Another poster responded: “I didn’t think it was quite that exciting.”

Reminds me of Chancellor Mathur's attempt to seem human a year or so ago. He played Carnac, the old Johnny Carson character. My guess is that, after Raghu bombed, he immediately went backstage to kill the poor guy or gal who suggested the "humanizing" gambit.

Raghu, let me offer you some advice. Just be yourself. If, in your heart, you want to tyrannize underlings and pulverize detractors, then just come right out and say so. People love honesty. Then, if possible, get some tears going. Ask the Lord for forgiveness. People love penitence.

Plus, if you do this, I promise to send you a check for $50. That's fifty dollars, American.

▲ DINOSAURS ON THE GOOD SHIP NINCOMPOOP. This morning’s New York Times has a story about a High School kid in New Jersey who secretly tape recorded his teacher proselytizing in class: Talk in Class Turns to God:

…[T]he teacher told his sixth-period students at Kearny High School that evolution and the Big Bang were not scientific, that dinosaurs were aboard Noah’s ark, and that only Christians had a place in heaven….

“If you reject his gift of salvation, then you know where you belong,” Mr. Paszkiewicz was recorded saying of Jesus. “He did everything in his power to make sure that you could go to heaven, so much so that he took your sins on his own body, suffered your pains for you, and he’s saying, ‘Please, accept me, believe.’ If you reject that, you belong in hell.”….

Get this: the community has largely sided with the teacher, not the student, who has received a death threat.

▲ SARAH TURNS FOUR. Went to my niece’s birthday party yesterday, which had a "dinosaur" theme. Sarah is smart; I'm sure she's clear that dinosaurs were never on an ark. "How would they all fit?" she'd say (if I were to ask, which I won't). I took a few snaps.

This is Sarah, who turned 4. She's a great kid.

Here’s her close pal and cousin Liliana.

Liliana let go her balloon, and we all watched it drift into the clear blue yonder.

There we all were, staring into the distance, imagining the perspective of a little balloon, so high in the cold winter sky.

IVC's Adopt-a-Family is a hit—PLUS: no port-o-potties!

As you know, at Monday’s board meeting, we were treated to the marvel of trustee DON WAGNER praising something, namely, the “Adopt-a-Family” Christmas Program that is held annually at Irvine Valley College. He seemed to think that Trustee BILL JAY always shows up at these things playing Santa.

Well, that might be true, but, if so, nobody’s noticed, cuz Bill Hewitt has been claimin’ to be that particular Santa for years.

I ran into some people this morning, who asked that I cover the Adopta event for the blog. I said I would. Mostly, though, I was at school to give a final exam, my last of the semester.


During my morning wanderings, I also ran into classified employees who were hopping mad about yesterday’s announcement of a water shut-off for Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. According to the announcement,

From December 19 through December 20…, the water to the entire Campus will be shut-off to facilitate re-routing pipes to [construction] projects. Portable restrooms will be strategically placed throughout the campus…We apologize for any inconvenience.

“How come you didn’t write about that in the blog this morning?” asked one woman. “This is one of Wayne’s deals.”

Wayne? Uh-oh. (Someone had just told me a Wayne Ward story. As you know, IVC's Chief of Police of six years, Owen Kreza, is gone, forever, for reasons yet-to-be-explained [don't hold your breath]. Nevertheless, he's been spotted on campus this week. For instance, on Thursday, he was at the Facilities and Maintenance workers' "team building" BBQ. According to my source, F&M's Wayne Ward bought him lunch.)

I asked the woman to elaborate about the problem with this water shut-off.

“Well, going in a port-o-potty is no fun. Plus where are we supposed to wash our hands? And are they gonna supervise each kid’s visit to the toilet over in Child-Care? They’d better, or those kids are gonna fall right down that hole!”

I imagined that. Splat. She continued:


“Yeah, I can see why they waited until faculty and students weren’t around before doing this, but what about us?"

I said I’d look into it. In truth, I didn't realize that it was an issue until that moment.

Well, I went off to give my final exam and then, at about 11:30, I wandered over to the cafeteria, the site of the Christmas Program. There must’ve been well over one hundred people in there. And, judging by the joyous squallery, they were happy. The food looked great, the staff were all smiles. Even the mice danced a festive dance upon the ceiling tiles, causing a delightful asbestos snow in which the children danced. (Well, I made that last part up, though there've been lots of mice/rat incidents lately.)

Adopta's Xmas Program was clearly a big success. It had already attracted VIPs. Somebody told me that the Chancellor had dropped by for his photo op. I spotted Cal Nelson, the popular and jolly interim VPI, plus three or four other administrators. Plus Glenn (Roquemore, the college president). I think I spotted his young son.

And Santa. He was making the rounds, talking to little kids, uttering his “ho ho ho’s.”

It was Bill Hewitt all right. I spotted Pam, his wife. She was there, she said, to see Bill “play Santa for the last time.” As you know, our Bill has gone big time, for, soon, he will serve a hitch as the president of the Faculty Association of California Community Colleges (FACCC, pronounced Fack ck ck ck), which is located in faraway Sacramento, land of the Big Skeeter and the Guv Nator.

MY 15 SECONDS OF ELFHOOD

I was feeling all warm and fuzzy, and so I started hanging with Santa as though I were his elf. When some of the little kids froze at the sight of the jolly red fat man, as they sometimes do, I jumped in there like a rodeo clown, saving Santa from the bull. That is, I made goofy faces at the kids. I think they liked ‘em.

Well, OK, this rodeo clown stuff lasted maybe fifteen seconds. But I kept following Santa, which is a little awkward, cuz Bill's got this St. Nick thing down, and he moves fast. Finally, as we neared the chow line, I asked him if I could sit in his lap. I figured he’d just laugh. But no. “Ho ho ho,” he said.

Eventually, we made our way to the other end of the room, where sat Santa’s colorful throne. Well, to make a long story short, I sat on Santa’s lap, and he asked me what I wanted, and I told ‘im, but I can’t possibly repeat that here, because I gave him my real wish. Santa laughed a lusty “Ho ho ho!”


An efficient gal who works in Bill’s office took snaps. (See.) I wondered what she was thinking.

Eventually, I spotted Rebel Girl, who was on campus doing “department chair” duties but who was persuaded to take a break to visit the Christmas program. She explained the Adopt-a-Family concept to me as though I were the world's biggest knucklehead. Evidently, it provides money for a Christmas dinner plus toys to eligible families. Sounds great. It turns out the Reb’s a long-time supporter of Adopt-a-Family.

Well, I had to run, but, on my way out, a woman accosted me and informed me that the “water shut-off” problem was solved. Evidently, the classified union met with Ward and HR (I think) and the upshot was that the water shut-off issue was no more.

“That's great,” I said. Me 'n' the Reb headed out, but not before Cal yelled at us, "Have a SUPER Holiday!"

Three hours later, I was back in my office, and, on my email, I came across a new “water shut-off” announcement. It was a “revised” announcement, and it came from Wayne Ward. It said

From December 21 through December 22, 2006, the domestic water to the entire Campus will be shut-off to facilitate re-routing pipes to [construction] projects. Portable restrooms will be strategically placed throughout the campus…. We apologize for any inconvenience.

That’s Thursday and Friday, right? I think the college is closed on those days.

OK, call me Mr. Persnickity—well, don't—but, strictly speaking, Wayne’s email fails to say that the water will NOT be shut off on Tuesday and Wednesday. I mean, strictly speaking, all he’s saying is that, now, there are these two other days that the water will be shut off. Right?

Well, whatever. To all of you, even Wayne—EVEN RAGHU—I offer a lusty "Ho ho ho!" And to all of you, a good-night.

Yes, that's Bill under all that fur.