We get requests

We at Dissent the BLOG get asked some weird-assed questions from time to time. Lots of questions have to do with our love of Adobe Photoshop. Go figure.

For instance, one reader asks: Hey, DtB, what if you crossed Trustee Don Wagner with, say, Huell Howser of PBS? (See Huell does IVC.)


That's a pretty weird question, but we like weird. So here goes:


That turned out pretty well. I suggest that Don take up weight training.

Another reader asks: Um, what if you crossed Trustee Tom Fuentes with that old Latina singer, Joan Baez? She was a babe.


Well, we hate to break it to you, but Joan ain't Latina, as far as we know. But Tom is. So here goes:


That wasn't nearly as successful. Still, our mongrel does suggest that Tom might do well to go for that softer female 60s warbler look. We'd like to hear 'im sing some of Joan's songs, too. One of her Spanish songs, maybe.

Another reader asks: I've got a real good one for you guys. How about if you crossed Chancellor Raghu Mathur with, say, that Christian guy, Pat Robertson?


We figure, since both of 'em are such hilarious guys, this might just work. Here's what we came up with:


Wow. Looks to us more like a cross between Robertson and a weasel. Sorry about that.

Finally, one guy made this odd request: Aren't you always yappin' about your cat, Sunny? Well, what if you crossed Sunny with, say, the President of the Board of Trustees, Dave Lang?


Weird, man. Still, we've got to admit that, lately, Lang has got his claws out. He gets real hissy, too. Funny thing is, Sunny's never got hers out, and I've never seen her hiss!

But we'll give it the old college try:


If you've got any requests, let us know.

¡Don Aztlán!

Last night, Gustavo "¡Ask a Mexican!" Arellano was the guest on Stephen Colbert's show (The mock O'Reilly Colbert Report), and that went well, I think. OC Republicans will be especially pleased:

Colbert: You speak very good Spanish!

Arellano: I know, isn’t it surprising?

Colbert: Were you born here, in the United States?

Arellano: I was born in Orange County, California.

Colbert: So, where’d you learn your Spanish?

Arellano: In Mexico—Orange County, Mexico.

Colbert: Oh, really? Because—it’s almost Mexico at this point.

Arellano: Yeah. Well, it’s already Mexico really….
.....
Arellano: Orange County is the Mexican hating capital of America. The reason why we're so obsessed with Mexicans right now is because Orange County--your buddies--the Republican delegation, they sent...James Sensenbrenner into a room, they beat him senseless, and they said, "You're gonna obsess about Mexicans now, you're gonna obsess about illegal immigration, and you're gonna make this into a national issue"...the hate that's been in Orange County for the past decade or so is now out in the United States, and so, it's what we think in Orange County--now you get to think. [See Can You Say...'anti-Mexican'?]

To see the entire interview, go to

Colbert interviews Arellano

(This link was provided by Matt Coker over on his blog: Clockwork Orange.)

One of the recurring characters on Colbert's show--I haven 't seen many episodes--is some guy named "Esteban Colberto," who, evidently, is an illegal alien (aka "immigrant") threatening to take Colbert's job! Funny.

But guess what? This Esteban guy is the spitting image of our own Don "Don't Ask a Mexican" Wagner! Check it out:


Pretty cool, eh? Well, to drive the point home, I've stuck Don's head on Esteban's body:


It's uncanny ¿Que no?

Evidently, those gals are called "chicas," "chicas calientes."

Don and chicas. Very cool! All he needs now is his Colt--and his Tejana!

La Raza Cósmica!

[DtB wishes to acknowledge its blatant exploitation of G. Arellano's "¡ASK A MEXICAN! glossary." See OC Weekly.]

Ron Suskind’s new book!

Ron Suskind’s new book, The One Percent Doctrine, has finally been released. The publisher describes it as follows:

Relying on unique access to former and current government officials, this book will reveal for the first time how the U.S. government—from President Bush on down—is frantically improvising to fight a new kind of war….Little, in fact, has been revealed about the nature of this struggle and the methods being used. This book will change all that…Suskind's report is filled with astonishing disclosures and will profoundly reframe the debate about a war that, each day, redefines America and its place in the world.

The book is reviewed in this morning New York Times by Michako Kakutani (Personality, Ideology and Bush’s Terror Wars). Writes Kakutani:

…Mr. Suskind's book … reveals that Qaeda operatives had designed a delivery system … for a lethal gas, and that the United States government had a Qaeda source who said that plans for a hydrogen cyanide attack on New York City's subway system were well under way in early 2003, but the attack was called off — for reasons that remain unclear — by Osama bin Laden's deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri. The book also reports that Al Qaeda had produced "extremely virulent" anthrax in Afghanistan before 9/11, which "could be easily reproduced to create a quantity that could be readily weaponized."

Just as disturbing as Al Qaeda's plans and capabilities are the descriptions of the Bush administration's handling of the war on terror and its willful determination to go to war against Iraq. That war, according to the author's sources who attended National Security Council briefings in 2002, was primarily waged "to make an example" of Saddam Hussein, to "create a demonstration model to guide the behavior of anyone with the temerity to acquire destructive weapons or, in any way, flout the authority of the United States."

"The One Percent Doctrine" amplifies an emerging portrait of the administration … as one eager to circumvent traditional processes of policy development and policy review, and determined to use experts (whether in the C.I.A., the Treasury Department or the military) not to help formulate policy, but simply to sell predetermined initiatives to the American public.

Mr. Suskind writes that the war on terror gave the president and vice president "vast, creative prerogatives": "to do what they want, when they want to, for whatever reason they decide" and to "create whatever reality was convenient." The potent wartime authority granted the White House in the wake of 9/11, he says, dovetailed with the administration's pre-9/11 desire to amp up executive power (diminished, Mr. Cheney and others believed, by Watergate) and to impose "message discipline" on government staffers.

"The public, and Congress, acquiesced," Mr. Suskind notes, "with little real resistance, to a 'need to know' status — told only what they needed to know, with that determination made exclusively, and narrowly, by the White House."

Within the government, he goes on, there was frequent frustration with the White House's hermetic decision-making style. "Voicing desire for a more traditional, transparent policy process," he writes, "prompted accusations of disloyalty," and "issues argued, often vociferously, at the level of deputies and principals rarely seemed to go upstream in their fullest form to the president's desk, and if they did, it was often after Bush seemed to have already made up his mind based on what was so often cited as his 'instinct' or 'gut.' "

This book augments the portrait of Mr. Bush as an incurious and curiously uninformed executive that Mr. Suskind earlier set out in "The Price of Loyalty" and in a series of magazine articles on the president and key aides. In "The One Percent Doctrine," he writes that Mr. Cheney's nickname inside the C.I.A. was Edgar (as in Edgar Bergen), casting Mr. Bush in the puppet role of Charlie McCarthy, and cites one instance after another in which the president was not fully briefed (or had failed to read the basic paperwork) about a crucial situation….

Protecting “life as we know it”: Groundhog Day

[Scariest OC people #3] We keep explaining to anyone, including The New York Times, that OC’s reactionary rep is outdated hooey. But then the Weird Sisters of the Westminster School Board come along.

Roll call! Helena Rutkowski once said school libraries have too many books on Judaism.Judy Ahrens calls the teachers’ union “Communist” and talks about how her “rewards are going to be great in Heaven” by defying state law. And Blossie Marquez-Woodcock...has offered varying accounts of phony educational degrees before finally admitting all her degrees are from now-defunct, unaccredited ministerial colleges.

It all came to a delicious gestalt in March, when the Sisters refused to allow the district to pledge...against discriminating based on one’s perceived gender. The decision nearly cost Westminster $40 million in state and federal aid, but Ahrens justified it on her website by claiming “the legislative gay agenda . . . shortens the lifetime for the average male to 34 years if he becomes gay...just to get that tiny 1 percent vote of the gays the liberals have legislated a shortened life span for your child by approving an alternative lifestyle that is poison.” (OC's Scariest People, 2004) OC Weekly

Lately, I’ve monitored the ongoing Westminster School District (WSD) Ridiculosity. The WSD’s board achieved national laughingstockery a couple of years ago when it took a fatheaded and self-destructive right wing stand against a policy concerning gender orientation. The Fuentes crowd was involved in that one, of course, just as it was involved in the Orange Unified School District's right wing ridiculosity (which led to a successful trustee recall election).

Now, the board has drawn attention to itself with regard to its efforts to hire a superintendent. The Board first hired then, a few days later, inexplicably unhired Kimoanh Nguyen-Lam, a seemingly well-qualified person of Vietnamese descent who appears to have the support of many in the diverse WSD community (Caucasians are a minority).

Now the community is upset. A lawsuit is likely.

On Sunday, the Times provided a helpful recap of The Westminsterian saga (Westminster School District Lives in a Furor), which, as I’ve suggested previously, parallels SOCCCD's travaillery, what with its right winged wacko trustees, its precipitous descent into mediocrity, its endless instability, its capacity to generate embarrassing media circuses, etc.

Owing to my experiences with the sometimes superficial (albeit sometimes excellent) news coverage of our own travails, I’m not entirely sure that we know, based on newspaper accounts alone, what’s really going on in the WSD. Times and Register reporting paints a portrait of incompetence and chaos, stemming largely from the Neanderthal right wingedness of the WSD board.

No doubt, that's largely true.

The teachers union is not usually portrayed as a contributor to the Schweinerei. But, according to Orange Juice’s designated right winger—Art Pedroza—the latest WSD FUBARery can indeed be attributed to the teachers union (the WTA) and its willingness to do whatever is necessary to secure a favorable contract.

Sound familiar?

On Saturday, Pedroza offered the following report (Something Stinks in Westminster):

Inside sources tell me that the problems at the Westminster School District stem not from Kermit Marsh, the conservative Westminster council member who allegedly advised one of the school board members to pull her endorsement of Kimoanh Nguyen-Lam, but rather with Janet Brubaker, the president of the Westminster Teachers Association [WTA]. She is well known for her stand against the school board, in 2004, in favor of a uniform complaint policy that gave protection to students and staff based on gender orientation.

The WTA has already endorsed a slate for the fall including Jim Reed…, a cop named Bridgewater, and a third person—all are Caucasian candidates. Bridgewater is the husband of the PTA president who supports the union.

My sources tell me that the WTA, in endorsing Jim Reed, a Republican who caters to the WTA, is showing its true colors. They cannot say that they are neutral with regard to Nguyen-Lam, and that they support the community.

I believe that their real concern lies with their concerns about a new contract. They will do whatever they have to in order to take control of the board and get the contract they are looking for…. [My emphasis throughout.)

Pedroza seems to embrace a view provided to him by like-minded “inside sources.” It’s hard to say how reliable he and his account are.

But, especially given our own district’s history, the "corrupt union" interpretation is at least plausible.

So maybe we’re seeing the 1996-1999 SOCCCD Unprincipled Unionist Occupation, mutatis mutandis.


O HERE'S MY POINT. I am continually amazed by the short memory of SOCCCD denizens. Some battle will be fought--over, say, how to respond to violations of faculty rights, or, say, how best to approach the upcoming trustee election--and then, a few years later, the battle will be fought again, but with zero recognition that we’ve been through this before and that costly & important truths were then revealed.

That's when the Twilight Zone theme starts playing. Or maybe the Groundhog Day theme.

Let’s remember just what happened a decade ago. A small group of greedy and unprincipled and secretive faculty sought control of the Board by any means necessary, including support of right winged wackos, such as the Holocaust Denying Steve Frogue, the sleazy John Williams, and, a bit later, the acutely anti-faculty and anti-union Don Wagner, Nancy Padberg, and Tom Fuentes. (Maybe Padberg's improved since then.)

I recall a meeting—9 ½ years ago—in which the Faculty Association president was asked to explain the organization’s unprincipled tactics. We asked: How can you defend using a deceptive and homophobic flier? (See The homophobic flier.) How can you defend supporting a Holocaust Denier? How can you defend installing a slate of conservative anti-union Republicans?

We did all that--especially resort to the flier--she said, to protect “life as we know it." She repeated those words as if they were magic. "Life as we know it." Shazzam!

Some of us were upset by this answer. Some of us were not upset! That's pretty upsetting.

Face it: our current plight is, without doubt, a residue of that disastrous Old Guard victory of 1996. Protecting “life as we know it” by any means necessary has given us a board that hates faculty, a board that can't be got rid of for as long as Mr. Connected is around. (Maybe.)

So when you run into Mike or Sherry or Sharon or Raghu or Patrick or Curt or any of the rest, be sure to express your appreciation of history. Say: THANKS FOR THE MASSIVE & INVETERATE DISTRICTULAR SHITULOSITY.

And when somebody like me or Reb or Red comes along and insists on reminding you of events of the past decade, please don’t complain that that’s “old news” or that we’re just “complaining again” and “being negative.” No, that’s not it at all.

You know the Santayana quotation.

OK then.

(For a brief account of SOCCCD history in the last decade, go to Dissent's Very Short History of the District's Troubles.)

Finger paint fiasco

An area of lawn at Irvine Valley College was supposed to evoke IVC students' “patriotism and piety.”

By Bud Towne

June 15, 2006

OK everybody, stick your hand in the paint and then smear it onto the paper!

That was the idea, anyway. Officials at Irvine Valley College sought to get a large crowd of students together yesterday in a bid to create the “world's largest finger painting.” The project is a part of a month-long campaign to draw attention to the campus by celebrating what some IVC administrators are calling “IVC’s awesome patriotism and piety.”

“Our students are way more patriotic and pious than students at other colleges,” chirped a high-ranking administrator. “So we decided to fingerpaint, since IVC is a school, sort of, and finger painting happens at school.”

“We had high hopes,” added a second administrator.


“Just think of it! We’d be in the Guinness Book of World Records! It would be the crowning glory of a long series of achievements at this fine college!”

But then, yesterday, no students showed up.

"It would have been great," said the first administrator, shaking his head. "I believe that world record holders get a free trip to the brewery."

"Eventually," said the other administrator, "we scraped up a few young scholars who were sleeping in the library.”

“But those guys had really small hands,” said the first administrator.

In the end, maintenance personnel were instructed to spray paint a large blue hand on the 100-yard wide piece of canvas on the lawn in front of the Student Services Center. But since it was the only image on the canvas, and it was smack dab in the middle, it looked tiny.

“It’s better than nothing,” said the first administrator.

“Yeah,” said the second.


For a related story, go to Smile...for the "World's Biggest Camera"

Shiny nuts and bolts

Time passes slowly up here in the mountains,
We sit beside bridges and walk beside fountains,
Catch the wild fishes that float through the stream,
Time passes slowly when you're lost in a dream.

--Bob Dylan

Wow, what a great looking day! Took some pics this morning around my house. Check ‘em out!



On this fine day, only slightly diminished by news of Karl Rove’s good fortune, I drove to IVC to interview a prospective part-timer. He turned out to be just what we were lookin’ for, plus he’s a jazz musician, having tickled them ivories with the likes of Poncho Sanchez. Very cool.

I showed the Piano Man around, explaining about the general atmosphere of shitulosity. “Oh, I’m used to that,” he said. “I teach at Santa Ana.”

Oh.

A few minutes later, I ran into a colleague who was bitchin’ and moanin’ about room A203, which is sort of attached to the Humanities and Languages Office. “Good Lord,” said the colleague, “sometimes I go in there on Monday and it’s up to here in trash!”

“Here” was his chest. I think he was exaggerating. But I’d heard this complaint about 203 before, from various others. Even the chest part.

He explained how often he had complained and how it didn’t seem to matter. “How hard is it to clean this room on some kinda schedule?” he roared. “Just how hard is that?! Why do I gotta keep callin’? Jeez!”


I got my camera and went in there. Though there wasn’t much trash, except some spillage from the trash container, the room did look generally crapulistic. Urinary even. The floor was Scuff City, the white boards were bird-shit grey, and the phrase “don’t give a shit” wafted lazily across the room.


Rebel Girl had called me a week or so ago to report that “they” were tearing down those shitty old temporaries that we’ve been carpin’ about on these pages over the last few months. Carp carp carp.

I told her I wasn’t about to drive way out to Irvine just to take a picture of that.

So, today, I checked it out. Sure enough, where the notorious “Shithouse” once stood, now there’s a big ugly empty lot, mostly dirt.

With trash. And chunks of asphalt. And big shiny nuts and bolts.


Oddly, I found a friend there, loitering peevishly. I walked up to her. She snickered and grumbled. Then she announced: “I think this is a hazard. They should rope this off.” She pointed to the nuts and bolts.

They didn’t look so bad to me, but what do I know?

“How come there are nuts and bolts?” she asked. She nudged a nut with her toe as though she were checking for signs of life.

“Dunno.”


I left. The sun was shining. There was a fine breeze. It was good.

People keep asking me, “So what’s happening?” But I dunno. Nobody who knows stuff tells me anything. Plus, I don’t wanna bother ‘em during summer.

One thing’s for sure, though. It’s during the summer when they try to get away with stuff.

Don’t be surprised if, when you come back, you find that they tore the college down and hauled everything away.

Except for those shiny nuts and bolts.

The greatest bad for the greatest number

1. CONDEMNING THE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE?
I recently came across a fascinating and prescient old Mother Jones article, published in January of 1998. Its full title:

“GOD'S VICE-REGENTS: the religious right has conquered the Republican Party in California--now they're bringing the same game plan to your state.”

What does this old article have to do with us? —Everything, I’m afraid.

In the article, Suzanne Herel wrote: 



A faction of right-wing Republicans who believe in governing by the Bible has already taken control of the California Republican Party. Now they're poised to duplicate that feat in 35 other states—and counting—under the banner of the new National Federation of Republican Assemblies [NFRA]. Their immediate goal: to cultivate a Reaganesque candidate who can win the presidency in 2000. Their long-term goal: an America ruled by the word of God.

George W isn't Reaganesque, but he sure is rightwinged, and religiously so. Herel continued:

The story begins a decade ago. Frustrated by the failure of Pat Robertson's 1988 presidential bid, some of his followers in Sacramento hatched a plan to take over the California Republican Party. First they packed the then-moderate California Republican Assembly (CRA), a mainstream caucus with a heavy hand in the state party's nominating process, with their Bible-minded colleagues. By 1990 they controlled the CRA, and since then the CRA's clout has helped the religious conservatives nominate and elect local candidates and—crucially—catapult true believers into state party leadership slots.


Ten years of dedication and planning later, the operation is a stunning success. Members of the Bible-waving CRA—which now bills itself as the "conservative conscience" of the state GOP—hold the top 13 elected spots in the party leadership, from state chair on down to second assistant secretary. In addition to the top posts, CRA members now make up roughly two-thirds of the California Republican Party's 1,700 voting members. That means they decide whom to nominate in the primaries—and whom to smear using their considerable resources of influence and money.

…But California was just the beginning. Flush with their success, the leaders of the CRA have exported their model of state party infiltration nationwide…Already 36 states have Republican Assemblies modeled on the CRA, and organizers expect conservative groups in the remaining 14 to organize their own affiliates by Easter. NFRA membership now stands at about 15,000, says NFRA president Stephen Frank, a former president of the CRA who advocates legislating by biblical principles…Says Frank: "Our goal is to organize grassroots support to win primaries for Constitutional conservatives, and elections for principled Republicans."

…The NFRA game plan is grassroots politicking, CRA style: "We need to win council seats, school boards, statehouse races, assembly races, and Congress, and the cumulative will be winning the presidency," Frank says. "We're doing it the old-fashioned way: community by community."


…Dominating the GOP nomination process, CRA has racked up dozens of big primary victories….CRA also claims credit for the winning ballot initiatives Prop. 187, which denied benefits to illegal immigrants, and Prop. 209, which dismantled affirmative action; and CRA now champions the English for Children initiative, which would end bilingual education, and the Payroll Protection for Unionized Workers initiative, which would abolish the automatic payroll checkoff for union dues.


…The CRA's principles support the right to bear arms, strict interpretation of the Constitution, limited government, and "fair" trade and sovereignty. They condemn the separation of church and state, abortion, affirmative action, women in combat, and homosexuality.

And members…advocate legislating by the Bible."Legislation should be biblical principles put into action," Frank says.

…[Former CRA Veep John] Stoos, in an article for the Chalcedon Report, a journal of the radical Christian Reconstructionist movement, goes so far as to call Christian politicians God's "vice-regents...those who believe in the Lordship of Christ and the dominion mandate."


The "dominion mandate," Stoos told the MoJo Wire, "is that individuals are impacted by salvation. You will want to obey God's commandments, and to the extent you do that, you start being a better person. ...If there are enough of these groups in a community, the community is different. If government has a rule of law that is biblical justice, you will have freedom and liberty."



As proof of his theory, he points to the repeal in the 1970s of laws prohibiting homosexual sex acts—biblical offenses. "The proof is in the pudding," said Stoos. "Since we lifted those laws, we've had the biggest epidemic in history."

• The chief funder of the Christian Reconstructionist movement was then—and still is—fabulously wealthy Orange Countian Howard Ahmanson, a pal of Tom Fuentes’.

• Howard Ahmanson also funds the Claremont Institute, on whose Board of Directors sits Tom Fuentes. Ahmanson’s wife and Fuentes’ boss sit on CI’s Board of Advisors.

• Once, in a column that discussed the phenomenon of firms giving campaign contributions to both Democrats and Republicans, Fuentean crony Robert Novak quoted Fuentes as saying that, in Orange County, "we" call such contributors "whores." Mr. Fuentes is known also for his low esteem of so-called RINOs, Republican in Name Only, i.e., Republicans who are too willing to abandon core conservative principles. Fuentes sees himself as unyielding re core principles.

• Trustee Donald Wagner has been affiliated with Education Alliance, an organization funded (initially) by Howard Ahmanson and which originated 1998’s payroll protection initiative (an failed attempt to weaken the political clout of teachers unions). Wagner's 1998 trustee run was supported by EA.

• Wagner is founder of the local chapter of the Federalist Society, a far-right legal organization that is dedicated to a strict interpretation of the Constitution. The FS works closely with the Bush administration--e.g., in the selection of Supreme Court Justice nominees.

• When Tom Fuentes stepped down as Chair of the local GOP in 2004, during his "farewell remarks" (Fuentes' Farewell), he said:

Now, some have asked me what is it that gives me most joy in twenty years as Chairman of this County Party. It is a little thing. It is the fact that anywhere in this county, whenever Republicans gather, we begin our time together with prayer. You may pray in your way, and I may pray in mine, but, my friends, Republicans in this county always acknowledge a power higher than ourselves as did our Founding Fathers. And, the values, principles, and ideals that flow from the acknowledgement of the divinity, guides our conservative social agenda. It gives us pause to reflect on what is really important in life and society. It motivates us to defend causes that are so critical in the cultural war that today engulfs our nation and its society. Because you have allowed me to serve as your Chairman, I have been able to enjoy the opportunity to give encouragement to countless young activists to become involved in the leadership of our party. (My emphasis)

2. THE GREATEST BAD FOR THE GREATEST NUMBER

On Thursday, the U.S. Election Assistance Commission (EAC) meets in Washington.

According to the EAC website, “The U.S. Election Assistance Commission, an independent bipartisan agency, is charged with disbursing payments to states for replacement of voting systems and election administration improvements, adopting voluntary voting system guidelines, and serving as a national clearinghouse and resource of information regarding election administration. (My emphases.)

Elsewhere on the site, we are told that the EAC is a creature of 2002’s Help Americans Vote Act (HAVA), which seeks to, among other things, “establish a program to provide funds to States to replace punch card voting systems.”

It appears that HAVA came about as a result of the controversy surrounding the 2000 Presidential election. That makes sense.

As near as I can tell, however, lawmakers and those concerned with HAVA/EAC have proceeded on the assumption that improving the process of federal elections means moving toward electronic voting.

Yikes!

As you know, our own trustee Tom Fuentes is on the EAC’s Board of Advisors.

Uh-oh.

Last Thursday, the Commissioners testified before the U.S. House Committee on House Administration, saying:

Although EAC is amongst the smallest of independent Federal commissions, it may have the greatest impact on the largest number of persons. The changes that EAC has helped states and local governments make in Federal election administration will affect every voter in this country.

Maybe that's true.

At the risk of repeating myself, may I say “UH-freaking-OH!”