We're dyin' here, man

Classic plastic
     Went to the "recognition celebration" shindig today (see flier below). As I understand it, the trustees got sick and tired of enduring the endless parade of "recognitions"—mostly folks getting prizes for having received prizes—so now the colleges are taking some of this boffo prize action to their campuses in order to create stupid photo ops for Glenn and Tod to prove that they're doing a great job.

     They're not. They suck, and everybody knows it. Somehow, Glenn and Co. got the Accred morons to say that the folks at IVC sure do work well together. Something like that. Total bullshit. At IVC, somebody'll mention this and folks will just smirk. Freakin' IVC.
100% styrene
     The Reb was just told late last week that she'd be receiving one of these recognition thingees. (One time years ago, she mentioned that she'd once received one of these Recogno-Prizes from Raghu Mathur, and so Mathur, a guy who updates his Enemies List daily, said, "I gave you no such thing." So the Reb went to our office and dug up the dang thing. Showed it to Mr. Goo. "Oh," he said.)
     All things considered, it was clear that Reb was obliged to show up for this thing—somebody had nominated her, after all—and so she needed to grit her teeth and do the stupid photo smile with Mr. Plastic. Mr. Anti-Intellectual. Mr. Trump-Voter.
     So, anyway, we showed up just before noon, and Reb got waylaid by old friends, so I just found a seat way in the back. Reb eventually joined me in the cheap seats.
     "Smells like McDonalds," she said, as she sat down.
     We espied the usual Feed Bag operation way to the left. I think I could see grease smoke climbing above it. Yep, people were linin' up for burgers and whatnot. Eat like you mean it, I guess.
     "Is that beer?" asked Reb, pointing to some suds in a plastic cup.
     Glenn then ran up and asked Reb if she could stay long enough to get her prize. (He acted like I wasn't even there.) Earlier, she had told him that she's got to teach at 12:30, so could you put her first? (Another Prize Winner in our School couldn't make it cuz she was teaching a class. She only found out about her part in the proceedings like yesterday.)
     So how come the Reb, and this other gal, only found out about their recognition invites within the last day or two? What's up with that? Doesn't anybody organize and plan on this campus?
     Later in the day, we ran into a kid who got one of today's prizes. She was all happy. Nice kid.
     "One thing though," said the kid. "I only heard about this thing last night at 11:00 p.m."
     "Really?" we said.
     Yeah, really.
     We're dyin' here, man.

May 24, 2017
     A day or so after this event, the college put up a slide show. See here.
     Guess what? There's no pic of the Reb!
     Oh my.
Wait for it!


Anonymous said…
The trustees must be sick of it. Only one came through they cleared out a big chunk of the parking lot so they could park.
Anonymous said…
What about Glenn's prize. Did someone show him where the door is?
Anonymous said…
I confess that I had no idea what this event was. I could not tell from the invitation what was going on. I thought it had something to do with the outside community or the theater.
Anonymous said…
Already looking forward to your commencement photos!
Anonymous said…
The end of the semester is always a smash on one event after another, all well-intended (if not well-attended) but...And perhaps we could rethink the value of certificates of appreciation or recognition or ...? Or is that too sacrosanct?
Anonymous said…
Love the cartoon.
Anonymous said…
Anonymous said…
Someone gather a collection and take Glenn to the thrift shop and buy the boy a new suit, one that fits. Then shuffle him over to the IVC police station and let Will teach Glenn how to polish his shoes.

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