Friday, September 9, 2011

Jesus blows off Rick Perry; pandas, munching bamboo, eschew meaningless agitation; OC gets gassy new Ford taxis

New Taxis in OC. Natural-gas powered Fords.
     Today, venerable and curmudgeonly physicist Bob Park opined as follows:

Jesus let him down.
TEXAS GOVERNOR CONVENES A CHRISTIAN REVIVAL.
     Rick Perry led a prayer meeting of 30,000 evangelical Christians in a Houston football stadium last month, calling on Jesus to guide us out of our national travail....
     The big question then is, how did God respond?
     It didn't take long to get an answer. The crowd had scarcely left the stadium when God set Texas on fire. It’s still burning. In fact, when God sent Tropical Storm Lee ashore, he had it dump record rains on the other Gulf states, while leaving Texas parched….

The Earth moved
EARTHQUACKS: IT'S TIME TO STOP BEHAVING LIKE ANIMALS*.
     At the urging of a 5.8-magnitude earthquake centered in Northern Virginia, thousands of books in the University of Maryland Library sought a lower energy configuration, moving from the bookshelves to the floor. Meanwhile, according to the Washington Post, ABC, and NBC, high-strung inmates at the National Zoo like orangutans began to screech and scramble to higher perches "minutes before" seismographs sensed anything.
    —Like maybe they had some special sense that humans don't? 
     Or so the media reported. Were reporters already at the zoo waiting for a quake? Zoos are always in turmoil. Inmates chase each other, fornicate and have food fights, except the laid-back types like pandas that just sit on their ass through it all, munching bamboo.

     *Pace "animals"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

BvT, that's so funny about Texas! Thank you for giving us a good laugh this Friday night!

B. von Traven said...

Our under-educated troll has now crossed over into name-calling and whatnot, and so I'll be turning off comments for a while. Sheesh.