Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Irvine Valley College invaded by ants

I spoke with Rebel Girl today, over the phone. I asked, "What's up at our little college?"
"Not much," she said.
"Well," she added, "we're being invaded by ants. I can't even eat my lunch here in the office, 'cause it attracts them."
Evidently, there's talk in the hallways about a possible rift in the terrestrial biomass, or something, caused by today's oppressive heat (plus "reverse seepage" from Irvine's notorious toxic aquifers). According to our biologists, it's only a matter of time before larger "toxic" ants attack and even kidnap students.
"As if we didn't have enough problems," they said.
IVC police are now off parking patrol. They're now totally focused on the growing ant menace.
Artist's conception: evidently, there's a real possibility of a kind of "super invasion" in places on campus that are "shiny, sterile, bright, and totally unused."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a relief it must be for you all in South Orange to be worried about ants and parking rather than budget cuts, litigation, accreditation, and a lay-person board who doesn't have a clue. You've come a long way and are an inspiration to us all. May we all be concerned about ants in our office, pesky little things are such a nusiance when we are trying to eat lunch. Count your lucky blessings in the form of ants. Glad you all have now found a parking space. Don't worry, soon the weather will turn cool, you'll be able to eat lunch without those pesky little ants and you'll be able to park right next to your office. All will be well in South Orange in another week. Hang in there! We are pulling for you.

Anonymous said...

6:54, you should consider the possibility that you are reading DtB a tad too literally and sporadically.

Anonymous said...

Oh we are worried about accreditation too - haven't you read the draft yet? Jeez.

Anonymous said...

I think the ants have gotten better.

Anonymous said...

shut up Ray.

Anonymous said...

You may hate me for it, RG; and I'm one of your biggest fans: but when people complain that "we've got an ant problem" (as students and others routinely do at my own institution), I always wonder, sincerely, "but how is it a problem?" (I'm excluding the monster-ants that BvT has portrayed here and *biting* ants, of course.) Do they eat paper? Leave smelly residues? Spread disease? Maybe--but I've not heard of such things, ever.

MAH

Anonymous said...

But: thanks a million for reprinting that wonderful poem "Did I Miss Anything?" What a gem. I might just share it with my students, before they have a chance to commit the crime.

MAH

Summer runnin' down