Wednesday, December 15, 2010

"I Am the Woman in Your Department Who Does All the Committee Work"

Rebel Girl has been busy but that doesn't mean she hasn't been thinking of you all.

Here's a little something that she knows some of you will enjoy.

She found it on McSweeney's. It made her happy.

I Am the Woman in Your Department Who Does All the Committee Work

By Sophia Gould
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I received your email about the tower you are building in the woods with a few Amish masons, and of course I understand that you'll be unable to notify us as to what classes you'll be teaching next semester, or when you'll be available to meet with your advisees. With your permission, I'll rely on last year's schedule and again sign you up for two five-person sections of "Lyric Sexuality." I will also schedule some extra office hours to collect mucous-soaked, germ-infected tissues from each of the suicidal girls you seem to enjoy mentoring when you are not laying stone.
...
I am grateful for your presence at our curriculum meeting. It was kind of you to make fifteen minutes in your busy schedule. I think we were all struck by your objections to the proposal we've spent two years crafting, and how you are convinced that the current program, designed by you and some venerable dead people in 1971, should stay in place. The introductory course, "Eating the Strawberry" is still relevant, and still poses a challenge to mainstream ideas of the Nixon era. Speaking of eating, I gather you enjoyed the homemade snacks I provided, since you honored me by eating all of the lemon-scented Madeleines before you had to run to dinner with the university president.

As you recall, you agreed to chair our hiring committee, but since I know you're "bad with paperwork and deadlines" I will continue to fill out the "administrative paperwork" that amounts to reading and summarizing all 300 applications (or twelve feet of paper) for you. When we meet to discuss candidates, I will count on your voicing your commitment to affirmative action, as well as your support of young men who write about young men, unless they are too talented, in which case you'd prefer a woman who will do all of your committee work....

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To read this in its entirety, click here.

—Now, go back to grading.
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4 comments:

syeds said...

Now its the right time .



Cv Examples

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha - funnier no doubt at the university, but still pretty good.

Leightongirl said...

Awesome.

Anonymous said...

What is the ratio of Female/Male Professors at IVC? And what is the ratio of Female/Male Professors that participate in the Shared Governance Model?
Enquiring Minds want to know!
hehehehe
Great story

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