So - the very popular "Did I Miss Anything" by Tom Wayman, from his book, The Astonishing Weight of the Dead. Buck up. Persevere.

Did I Miss Anything
Question frequently asked by
students after missing a class
Nothing. When we realized you weren't here
we sat with our hands folded on our desks
in silence, for the full two hours
Everything. I gave an exam worth
40 per cent of the grade for this term
and assigned some reading due today
on which I'm about to hand out a quiz
worth 50 per cent
Nothing. None of the content of this course
has value or meaning
Take as many days off as you like:
any activities we undertake as a class
I assure you will not matter either to you or me
and are without purpose
Everything. A few minutes after we began last time
a shaft of light descended and an angel
or other heavenly being appeared
and revealed to us what each woman or man must do
to attain divine wisdom in this life and
the hereafter
This is the last time the class will meet
before we disperse to bring this good news to all people
on earth
Nothing. When you are not present
how could something significant occur?
Everything. Contained in this classroom
is a microcosm of human existence
assembled for you to query and examine and ponder
This is not the only place such an opportunity has been
gathered
but it was one place
And you weren't here
*
6 comments:
Let's hope those lollygaggers read this...
I have noted a phenomenom in the last few years, that students, generally, drive pretty nice cars, not the beaters that we old fogies and our friends drove when we were getting oursleves through college.
So, the plethora of car ailments they claim has always seemed like so much bullshit.
How do they get these vehicles, anyway?
I think it is odd they bother to lie at all. Being one who, at one time, frequently skipped class despite "knowing" better, it is definitely a character flaw on the students part. I was often distracted or had some other thing I'd rather be doing (not a particularly social creature so I didn't spend much time frolicking about the movie theater or anything) but even the most entertaining of professors couldn't drag my butt in.
Nowadays, I skip class with intent. I never ask "What'd I miss?" Nay! instead, I ask: "What will I be missing, my dearest professor?"
-Finds no one dear BS
Students can miss 6 hours for whatever reason. Up to them. But your poet is right--best not to ask what they missed whilst a. picking up sister at LAX b. keeping the orthodontist appointment c. having breakfast. Thanks--as always--for the verses.
Yes, they can miss up to six hours - but what about stuents who - at this point in the semester - have already missed TWO class sessions (for a 4 unit class which meets two hours twice a week)?
Okay, so I had to get away from Physics. Even if only for the moment of thought I put in to this:
You lament and you nag, you broken record; hag.
You dis on my peeps, just because you can't keeps
our attention any longer.
Its with this cruel bit on my tongue, that I will show you how its done
I dont need your lecture, for I have something better,
a mind eager to learn and freakin' book.
So I go and watch Die Hard 2; I guess I can have my cake and eat it too.
I CAN get in my studdies and hang with my buddies
I'll show you: I dont have to waste 2-3 hours a week in lecture.
What's that? I failed your final exam? Oh, damn, I guess I'll see you next semester.
This is why I study Physics BS
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