Wednesday, December 23, 2009

SOCCCD People of the Year

Yesterday, on Red County (Conservative Of The Year), Christian Milord informed readers that the newspaper Human Events has named Dick Cheney its Conservative Of The Year for 2009.

“Conservative of the Year”: evidently, this isn’t like the Time magazine “Man of the Year” title, which has been bestowed on the likes of Hitler and You. Nope, CofY is an honor.

Milord says that Cheney deserves the award, for he’s defended “enhanced interrogation methods” (you know: torture) and he favors free markets (although he does seem to make exceptions for companies with whom he is associated) and limited government (except, I guess, when his crowd is in charge of government).

“Thank you,” says Christian to Dick, “for your great service to America and the cause of Freedom.”

OK. I hereby nominate Raghu P. Mathur for the “really competent and selfless SOCCCD leader who isn’t after money, that’s for sure” award for 2009. Also, I nominate Tom Fuentes for the “Not a rat bastard & doesn’t let politics intrude, plus he’s a true Christian” prize.

These men will long be remembered for their extraordinary achievements. They have attained the extremities of conduct—really they have—and have done so despite the burdens of defective organs and/or faculties.

They truly stand out.

I’m told that the Chancellor looks forward to the award ceremony in January, to be held immediately after the “invocation/moment of silence” of the SOCCCD “Chancellor’s Opening Session.”

We’re looking forward to that day too.

Mr. Fuentes has already commented on his award. During a recent phone interview with Dissent, he displayed his customary likability and warmth, insisting that “others, really, are far more ‘not’ a rat bastard than I will ever be!”

“Yeah, Tom? What about the ‘not letting politics intrude’ part?”

“Ha! The truth is, I let politics intrude all the time. And, by the way, I could be a much better Christian than I am!”

“Yeah? So, should we take the prize back!?”

“Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!”

• Texas Man Says He Found Rat Jaw in Frozen Veggies

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Let the Fuentes' times roll on--right on over him.

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...