By now, no doubt you've heard about the infamous Bush "shoe" incident. Somebody tried to hit the Commander-in-chief with a shoe! Then another! It's alarming! (See the disturbing video at the end of this post.)Now, we here at Dissent the Blog in no way condone shoe-pelting, here or abroad. Still, we couldn't help but ask ourselves, "What if someone were to throw a shoe at Raghu P. Mathur?"
What kind of shoe should one throw?
This is what's known as a philosophical question. It has no bearing or relevance to reality whatsoever. I've been teaching the subject (i.e., philosophy) for 25 years, and I know. In reality, no one is going to throw a shoe at Raghu, nor should anyone get the notion to do so. So our question is way whimsical, fey even.
What about flip-flops? They have marvelous flight characteristics, and they're cheap, so you don't mind givin' 'em up. Plus they're almost guaranteed not to hurt the stupid fellow.
OK, what about the ever-popular "beer stein" shoe? It is reputed to go straight and true when launched, like a Fokker D.VII.Yeah, but obviously you'd waste beer. My German heritage wouldn't allow it.
What about blue clown shoes? —Big ones? They're certainly appropriate! Even the trustees think Mathur is a clown, though not necessarily a blue one.
Devil-feet shoes then! Nope. He'd just catch 'em and slip 'em on, and nobody'd know the difference, and that would just take the starch out of the whole thing.
Green alligator high-tops then? Nope. They're much too valuable to toss away. It would be like tossing the guy a Gucci bag. Not me, brother.
How about those incredibly stupid wooden shoes? Nah. The Dutch have never done me any harm. Why drag them into this? (I don't hold the marijuana thing against 'em, though maybe I should.)
Let's try this: What kind of shoe would Raghu want tossed at 'im? Well, maybe he'd like some patriotic sneakers hurtling at his ugly mug! He always wears that stupid flag pin, so red-white-'n'-blue tennies seem like a good bet. George Bush attacked with shoes:
Flying a Sopwith Camel:
Flying a Fokker D.VII:










