Here's what you get for your $300,000

I managed to snag a copy of an email sent yesterday by Chancellor Mathur to the membership of the “District Leadership Council,” which comprises all administrators and classified managers.

What a chirpy crew that must be. (It's no secret: they fear and loathe their "leader." That's why I've got the email.)

Mathur was reminding everyone about Thursday’s DLC “retreat.”

Our Chancellor has a real weakness for New Agey bunk and educationist twaddle. (Mathur’s education degree came out of a Cracker Jack box, namely, Nova Southeastern University, academically the very lowest of the low.) And so recipients of Mathur’s email are told to “Bring with you a one-sentence leadership quote that has meant a lot to you.”

Evidently, in Mathur’s mind, wisdom is expressible in a “quote,” i.e., a sound bite.

No it isn't.

The ever-helpful Mathur then explains that this kind of “quote” would be “key leadership guidance” that a mentor might give to a newbie. He offers an example: “The first task of a leader is to keep hope alive.”

Keep hope alive. What a f*cking idiot. This man makes $300,000 a year, and all he can come up with is a hackneyed political slogan. (No doubt Mathur got this nugget from management writer Joe Batton. Perhaps he is unaware that, thanks to Jesse Jackson, the phrase "keep hope alive" is just another overly-familiar catchphrase.)

Finding a leadership quote is just the first part of Thursday’s exercise. The “second part of our exercise,” he explains, “will be to transform the top 10 quotes into ‘I will’ statements.”

‘I will’ statements. I swear this man has sh*t for brains.

Mathur offers an example: “I will strive to instill hope.” So, I guess the idea is that hope is good, and so, if you stick “I will strive to instill” in front of that, you get this fabulous chunk of educationist "science." Are you not dazzled?

What is the matter with these people? Obviously, hopelessness is an unproductive and unpleasant state for employees to be in. I mean, c’mon. Why say that in terms of the architectonic-water of “leadership quotes,” “leadership guidance,” and “I will” statements? 

And “hope” isn’t even the right concept here. Hope is something a country has when the Nazis are invading it or prisoners have when the Bush administration has 'em in Gitmo. The denizens of English departments and maintenance yards don’t need hope. They just want to know that the college—or the dean or the President—has a decent plan.

Essentially, Mathur is the merest of politicians. He has nothing to say. He understands nothing. He offers slogans and flag pins.


It gets worse. In the email, Mathur next informs these “leaders” (wrong word again) that the top ten “I will” statements “will be used by all management throughout the year.”

Wow, that's quite a plan. 

I’ve got a few “I will” statements for the Chancellor. How about

I will leave people alone to do their jobs.
I will treat people honestly and honorably.
I will cease ruling with fear and treachery.

and last of all

I will try each day to have just one good thought expressed in one clear sentence.

* * * * *

See also "CIVILITY" & RAGHU'S TOUCHY-FEELY SIDE—where we learn that, at IVC, Mathur once distributed a list of ways to “appreciate yourself and others,” which included:

• Keep track of your achievements in a “win” journal.

• Give yourself one compliment per day.

• Have a “Brag Buddy” to share successes with.

• Say to yourself at least ten times per day, “I love myself” or “I like myself.”

• Make a photo copy of the palm of your hand and give yourself a “pat on the back."

—$300 freakin' thousand dollars a year for "Doctor" Raghu P. Sh*t-for-Brains. Think of it!?

Thank you, Tom and Dave and Don and John. On behalf of all the lovely "taxpayers" out there in the dark, I thank you!

The ending of "Sunset Boulevard"


• FOR CAT LOVERS. Steve just sent me this URL for a video. If you love cats, you'll love this:

Cats on a treadmill