Bill Jay caught sleeping (updated)

Just got back from the (South Orange County Community College District) board meeting. It was a snoozefest, especially on Trustee Jay's end of the stage.

I arrived at 7:00 sharp, just before the meeting started, and I found some people buzzing about the axe that had reportedly just fallen on Dennis White's neck. There was talk of a retirement party for the poor fellow.

It just goes to show. When the time came for Mr. Fuentes to announce actions taken during closed session (it is, of course, only during closed session that axes fall), he had nothing to report. Several of us sat up in surprise.

I looked back at Dennis, who did his best impression of a poker player. A good poker player. A short poker player.

Later, during the break, Dennis told me, "your report of my demise was premature." I laughed.

[Update Tuesday: friends reminded me today that last night's non-decision concerning Dennis might mean merely that the board could not agree on the terms of his exit. That is, possibly, Dennis is "toast," and the only issue is how he'll be buttered.]

For some reason, there was no mention of public comments at the start of the meeting. I've attended dozens of these board meetings, and, even when nobody's filled out those ugly "squawk" slips, the board Prez always stops to say that now's the time for public remarks.

Not this time.

I looked at the agenda: sure enough, "public comments" were agendized for 3:00, but not for 7:00.

As you know, by 7:00, the trustees had already been meeting since 3:00 in the afternoon--first to get an update on ATEP from Park Ranger Kopecky, and then for the closed session. I didn't attend the open ATEP meeting, but I overheard an administrator say that, during that session, one trustee "hit the nail on the head when he said 'Sh*t, or get off the pot'!"


Someone else seemed to say that ATEP needs to connect with some Big Money. Park Ranger Bob answered that Big Money's on the way and he declared that sh*tting would soon commence. He seemed generally positive about the meeting.

There were lots of resolutions to honor teachers (now called "Professors") of the year and various others. Tom Fuentes always handles the reading of resolutions, putting on his Big Dramatic Voice. He leaves quite an impression.

The theatrical fellow wore a modest yet subtly impertinent business suit. At one point, he removed his jacket, one arm at a time, revealing a delightful peach shirt and powder blue tie with yellow dots.

It was a salute to small pox.

(Cheap shot time:) At one point, Tom misread one of the resolutions and spoke of "enlarged learners." Everyone pointed and laughed. (Well, no. They're too afraid of the fellow for that. He shoots that stink eye like a cafffeinated Marine with a double-barreled laser beam.)

During board reports, trustees mostly revealed that they wanted to go home ASAP. Most skipped their report, but Marcia couldn't help herself. She described all of her recent adventures. At one point she squealed, "I saw a shark in a tank at Saddleabck College!"

She's funny.


A kid named "Rockwell Bower" (I think) came to report on the proposed IVC student government budget, which is about $400,000. Wagner noted that ASIVC is "spending more than [it] is taking in." That was bad enough, but Don also seemed to think that more of the budget should be going back to students.

According to the proposed budget, Clubs and some programs were set to receive lots of money from the students. Wagner questioned giving money to clubs, which, he seemed to say, should be self-sufficient. It's another instance of governmental meddling, evidently.

Then Trustee Fuentes questioned the sizeable profits coming from the bookstore. Why not cut profits and lower book prices? Fuentes told the kid that he'd appreciate an "earnest effort" to address his and Don's concerns next time.

The kid looked like he'd been smacked across the face with a tuna.

In the end, everyone supported the budget--except for Don.

After the meeting, referring to Mr. Bower, an administrator said to me that "tonight, your son sure did get smacked around a lot!"

Item 49 concerned topics for future board discussions. Nancy Padberg suggested that the board should discuss (or just have) board forums at the two colleges. John Williams, looking staunch and annoyed, seemed to want to give to the Chancellor more authority to deal with relatively inexpensive projects--those up to $50K. That the board has to spend so much of its time on so many dinky items was ridiculous, he seemed to say.

Padberg responded by saying that Williams' view was "irresponsible."

Marcia was worried about "avian flu." Gotta be prepared for that. All heads nodded gravely.

Wendy G jumped in to remind everyone that we've still got those mid-term Accreditation reports to write, and so lets put that on the list. Bob C fretted about the full-time/part-time ratio. More grave nods. --Well, maybe half nods.


Bill Jay slept through some of the discussion of the district budget--and who could blame him? Eventually, it was approved. Mathur yammered about the need to become more vigilant about enrollments. More nodding. Except for Bill.

The new Board Policy 2100.2 (role and scope of authority of the senates) was approved without comment, which is great, since now we can tell the Accreds that things are moving in the right direction on that score.

Oh yeah. At one point, IVC Prez Glenn Roquemore was grilled about the infamous classrooms snafu--you know, the new temps weren't ready for the first week of classes, creating chaos and unfettered paroxysms of shriekage.

It was way cool. Glenn explained that the guy who was supposed to do the work "went on vacation." Wagner didn't like that answer, so he asked more questions. Glenn's answers didn't seem to reduce the heat of Don's peevitude, which seemed to bubble over, spreading a vast and hideous miasma of fetid staunchitudinal harrumphitude.

He's a delightful fellow.

Spankin' new Vice Chancellor Andreea Serban was funny (and smart) again, in that Transylvanian accent of hers. She's a star! I took a picture of her hair.

The Saddelback student gov. president announced the students' upcoming "hot dog eating contest." That struck me as utterly absurd. Later, Wendy expressed the wish that she could come to meetings reporting hot dog eating contests. We all laughed. In truth, some who laughed were weenies.

Fuentes gave me the stink eye. In general, he said almost nothing during the meeting and he looked particularly evil, even for him.

I think he thinks he owns the world.

OTHER RECENT POSTS:

• Saturday, Sept. 23
The "bone" motif

• Friday, Sept. 22
"You will kiss my F-ing ass," said the college trustee