Snoozefest

ell, the big shootout at the OK corral turned out to be the big snoozefest at the collosal waste of time.

Things started out OK, with spirited remarks from the likes of Anna Maria C and Margot L, but that was followed by the nauseating self-important drone of Mr. Goo, who now sports a haircut that seems designed to scare children.

What's-her-name from the CCLC (representing, I guess, the trustee POV) seemed to be in a perpetual state of discombobulation. Actually, I think she was there to represent cluelessness. She did a heck of a job.

Ms. Beno, the big cheese of the Accreds, offered a Powerpoint presentation, featuring the obvious and sleep-inducing. I do believe that, at one point, she looked around and noted our high class digs. We all groaned and thought, "lady, this is the only decent building in the district, and it's the only one you'll ever see."

Ian Walton, of the State Academic Senate, actually managed to bring an edge with him for once. At one point, he seemed to say that, based on what he's heard or read about recent board meetings, we don't have a snowball's chance in hell of overcoming our dire crapulosity. It was like he had come expecting to see a board comprising incorrigible blackguards, and, sure enough, when he got here, that's just what he saw. He seemed struck by some horror.

I do believe the fellow wanted to flee from the building ASAP. I caught him glancing at the exit. At the end of the meeting, he was in such a hurry to flee that he barely acknowledged my "good job" and he very nearly knocked me down. He actually jogged across the grass to wherever the hell he was goin'. I bet he's drunk by now.

During her dronage, Beno said that the Accreds look for ethics and such. She said that we serve students. She said that the Accreds don't like trustees interfering with something. She noted that multi-college districts are generally a pain in the ass. She had us look at page 27. Her stuff went on like that for an hour or so. I was dyin'.

What's-her-name, Beno, and Walton took turns critiquing each constituent group's draft of their homework. The homework was supposed to be an attempt to define each group's roles, governance-wise. What's-her-name said that the classified got an A+, and she even seemed to say that the union's stuff was first rate. She offered some weak criticisms of the trustees' draft. She didn't seem to get the Academic Senates' draft. She seemed pained by it.

There was some yammering about the grid, offered by the faculty, that indicates the roles and authorities of the academic senates. There were complaints--from what's-her-name, I think--that the grid failed to indicate how other constituent groups were involved in the tasks mentioned on the grid.

Faculty were kinda pissed, cuz our homework was to define our own roles, not somebody else's. That what's-her-name is a real whatchamacallit.

There was some yammering about how the faculty were trying to be "equal" to the district, and, hey (she seemed to say), that's not cooperative. Wendy had to point out that we (i.e., the senates) had to go to court, owing to the district's absurd interpretation of "joint agreement," and, now, if'n you know anything about the law, then you know that we've got an appellate decision that trumps all this fussing about the uppity faculty and their "equality" guff. Cuz the appellate decision goes, and it says EQUAL baby. EQUAL, EQUAL, EQUAL.

Don Wagner sniggered.

It makes me smile to think that, owing to our clueless and defiant board, all over the state, senates are makin' moves to get equality--not just substantial input, but equality or better--where, before, they just got the back of blackguards' hands.

Anyway, this went on for a while, and then, suddenly, at twenty minutes to 5, it all stopped. People stared at each other. It was like going to a movie, and then, 2/3 of the way into it, the ushers are pushin' you outa the room and into the bright sunlight.

Some of us went to Boosters across the street and tried to get blitzed.

We staggered back for the 7:00 regular meeting, and it was so unbelievably dry that i nearly died.

Once again, there were some spirited public remarks (especially about the "ALA" issue and the discontinuation of IVC tennis teams--you'd swear that tennis is some kind of communion with the Deity), but then it was strictly drone time. I was nearly in a coma at 9:00 or so, when I got the hell outa there, even faster than that Ian Walton.

I'll have a more detailed account and AUDIO files maybe tomorrow. Now, just leave me alone to my Becks.

P.S.:

(4/27/06) Since Monday, I've had occasion to review the tapes of Monday's meeting, and it does seem to me now that, in the above post (written briefly after the meeting) I was too hard on Diane Woodruff of the CCLC. It does seem to me that each of the three "facilitators" sought to guide the board toward ceasing its pattern of micromanagement.

It does still seem to me, though, that the meeting did little to move the board in the right direction. With Engineer Fuentes at the handle, the district is headed for a trainwreck. -CW