Friday, October 4, 2013

Mighty special, Glenn


     As you know, Irvine Valley College President Glenn Roquemore is a remarkably, er, unacademic fellow. For a college president, he’s special, he is.
     Today brought us the fellow’s latest public spasm of super special unacademery, coming this time in the form of singular Roquemorean verbiage—a "resolution."
     Members of the college community just received an email from the IVC Chief of Police, alerting us to the upcoming Great California ShakeOut Earthquake Drill. In support of this effort, the Chief writes, IVC President Roquemore has issued a resolution:

A RESOLUTION OF INTENT TO PARTICIPATE IN THE GREAT CALIFORNIA SHAKEOUT AND WORK TOWARD BECOMING A SAFER CAMPUS COMMUNITY.

     Golly. Do we really need a resolution to participate in this thing? Why not just announce that the college will participate?
     But that's just me.
     The Chief attaches the resolution, a pdf, to his email. I opened it up. I’ve posted it above (see).
     Since it’s a resolution, it offers a series of “whereas”es and ends with a “be it resolved that.”
     Here’s the first “whereas.” It’s a humdinger.
WHEREAS, the [“the”?] Irvine Valley College recognizes that no community is immune from natural hazards whether it [it?] be earthquake, wildfire, flood, winter storms, drought, heat wave, or dam failure and recognizes the importance [sic] enhancing its ability to withstand natural hazards as well as the importance of reducing the human suffering, property damage, interruption of public services and economic losses caused by those hazards….
     That’s one seriously special piece of writing.
     Here’s a subsequent “whereas”:
WHEREAS, the protection of Irvine Valley College employees will allow them to facilitate the continuity of government and assist the campus community following a major earthquake event….
     Is it just me? Are others struck by the oddness of Glenn’s interest in protecting IVC “employees”? I guess the idea here is that, if the college secures the survival of employees, not being dead, after the quake, they can “facilitate the continuity of government.”
     Yeah, cuz that's what community colleges are all about.
     Plus, again, not being dead, they can “assist the campus community.” The idea here seems to be that IVC will target “employees” for protection so that those employees, having avoided earthquake death, can assist students post earthquake.
     See what I mean? This is a special piece of writing, this resolution.
     Here’s one more “whereas”:
WHEREAS, community resiliency to earthquakes and other disasters depends on the preparedness levels of all stakeholders in the community – students, staff, faculty, managers and administrators….
     “Resiliency.” I guess that’s Glenn’s special spin on “resilience.”
     “Stakeholders”? Yeah, everybody in Irvine has a share in M&M Enterprises, and the Big One will make us all rich.
     Here’s the resolution’s “be it resolved” finish:
Irvine Valley College hereby approves participating in the Great California Shakeout hereto by taking time to recognize and acknowledge the importance of preparing our college for the purposes of building a safer campus community and reducing the loss of lives and property from a major earthquake event by taking proactive steps today.
     So Glenn's resolution is a statement of "intent to participate" in the Shakeout; but it's also a statement of "approval" of IVC's (or others'?) "participating" in the Shakeout. Gosh, this nifty Res is a veritable Swiss Army Knife.
     It gets better—er, more special. The Res is a statement of approval (of the Shakeout) "by taking time to recognize" such-and-such. That Glenn sure does know how to write special sentences.
     Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favor of earthquake preparedness. And I’m not against this “shakeout” extravaganza. Not in principle, anyway.
     But we’re a college. Maybe our public statements shouldn’t be so, um, special.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have you seen the A205 resolution that Glenn sent? Whereas A205 has caused respiratory problems to faculty and students...

Anonymous said...

It's amazing that we have time to write lengthy proclamations about something that could occur in the future, but we can't take the time to notify the campus right now that we have a mold problem that could be harmful to your health.
Sorry I'm not an attorney...I see lots of SOCCCD $$$$$ being spent by the District trying to defend the fact that a health hazard was know by the administration of the college and no warning was sent to the students, faculty or staff.
And where are the Faculty and Staff Unions? Why aren't you addressing the issue of hazardous working conditions????

Anonymous said...

Glenn was busy working on writing this proclamation that why he hasn't old us about all the other stuff. It's such a nice proclamation and it affects so many of us so we should really just shut up and appreciate it. I am going to print it out and hang it on the wall of my dismal classroom. It will really cheer us all up.

Anonymous said...

I can visualize Glenn's response to the attorneys at the deposition regarding hazardous conditions on campus:
Q: When did you learn about the problem? Glenn: Ah..I don't recall.
Q: Where you aware there was a notice posted? Glenn: No one told me.
Q: Who posted the notice? Glenn: I dunno
Q: Who would have been responsible for posting such a notice?: Glenn: Facilities I guess, probably the Director of Facilities.
Q: Who does the Director of Facilities report to: Glenn: He reports to me.
Q: So, are you saying that the Director of Facilities that reports to you did not inform you of the problem? Glenn: Ah....I don't recall.
Q: In his deposition, the Director of Facilities indicated he informed you as soon as the problem was detected and has an email sent to you outlining the problems found. Would you like to see a copy? or do you recall it now?
Anyway...you can see where the attorney will go with this....I love depositions cause you get to see the worms squirm.

Anonymous said...

I still can't figure why they didn't tell the students, all the instructors - and certainly security who let that one teacher in...

The thing I like about the blog is that you get information (sometimes too much) and answers - and dialogue. Never anywhere else on campus.

Anonymous said...

Correct 3:20PM The blog actually provides information about what's happening on campus. Unlike our Administration that only puts out "proclamations" and newsletters that never focus on the problems or concerns facing us on a daily basis.
It is absolutely amazing how disconnected the Administration is from the students, faculty and staff.

Anonymous said...

"dam failure"?

Anonymous said...

how embarrassing!

Avi said...

"'Resiliency.' I guess that’s Glenn’s special spin on 'resilience.'"

His writing shows signs of incompetency.

Roy's obituary in LA Times and Register: "we were lucky to have you while we did"

  This ran in the Sunday December 24, 2023 edition of the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register : July 14, 1955 - November 20, 2...