Thursday, March 24, 2011

Who can ‘splain 'em?

OC Republican: inexplicable
     It must be tough being a conservative and a Republican in Orange County. On the one hand, you’ve got the hypocritical bastards who maintain the cronyistic, self-perpetuating, corrupt County GOP machine—Scott Baugh and his crafty colleagues, all sucking on the public teat while regularly denouncing teat suckery. And then you’ve got the rest of the party faithful down at the Central Committee—an inexplicable crew who’ve stolidly put up with this leadershite—from Tom “Big Foot” Fuentes to Scott “Slime” Baugh—for decades.
     What’s the matter with those guys? Who can ‘splain ‘em?
     In the last couple of years, the Tea Party crowd has shaken things up on the Central Committee, but, while the Teasters hate hypocritical and sleazy establishment Repubs, they also, well, love to be stupid, and that’s almost as bad as sleazitude. For instance, the local GOP leadership now includes Villa Park City Councilwoman Deborah Pauly, who has taken it upon herself to alienate both Muslims and sodomites*. I don’t know about Muslims, but I’m sure local sodomites used to vote solidly Republican.
Baugh, Reagan bust
     In recent years, the Crony Club for Men have been scramblin’ to protect their own, and that’s been an endless PR nightmare (think Carona, Street, Nielsen, Beelzebub, et al.) for local conservatives. The latest fiasco, of course, concerns the unfolding and deepening fubar that is John Williams’ tenure as Public Administrator/Guardian.
     Williams, who was until December a SOCCCD trustee, must be seen to be believed. He’s so clueless that his official portrait is regularly assumed to be dirty trick against Williams. He once defended his habit of taking repeated, expensive, taxpayer-funded junkets to Orlando by arguing that it would be “unethical” for him not to! One time, a guy showed up to a board of trustees meeting, urging trustees to train people to respond to gun-toting “perpetrators” by throwing books and desks at ‘em. Really.
Tom Fuentes, praying
     I watched Williams. He was carefully taking notes. His pencil broke. He panicked and poked himself.
     Supervisor Bill Campbell is, of course, a card-carrying member of Team Crony, and so he’s joined his wall-to-wall-Republican Supe colleagues in protecting Williams from the urgings of common sense and decency to fire his fat, junket-taking ass.
     But, in recent months, local Repubs have been taggin’ the Campbster for not seeking to fire Williams. For instance, in today’s Red County (Really? Only the incredible mind of Bill Campbell), “Frustrated Republican” offers the following rant:
     Hey, Supervisor Bill Campbell: if your wife goes out and buys the $100 outfit instead of the $150 one, she didn't save you fifty bucks!
     What are we referring to? This quote:
     “I look at it as saving the taxpayers $450,000 if he would have stayed for another three years.”
     ...which is how Campbell justifies the absurd situation of paying double to man the post of O.C.'s public guardian: one salary ($150k) to the scandal-plagued John Williams, and another (of a similar size) to his 'replacement.' Meanwhile Williams will stay on for another year, collecting his salary while doing literally nothing….
     I’ve been keeping track of comments to stories about Williams in the Reg (etc.), and it’s pretty clear that many Republicans are fed up with Campbell and his pals, including the County’s unfortunately high-profile DA, Tony “the unscrupulous” Rackaucas, and low-profile über-wheeler-dealer-consigliere (and chiropractor advocate) Mike "Darth Vader" Schroeder. It's a strong and consistent phenomenon.
Williams: a real winner
     I don’t know what to make of it all. And what's with the Central Committee? You’d think that any group of self-respecting conservatives would immediately rout this rude crew of venal, taxpayer-exploiting assholes. Yeah, but, if that were true, how to explain the astounding fact that this same crowd of hyenas**, more or less, has been in charge of the county GOP for decades?
     I dunno. Beats me.

*Notoriously, Ms. Pauly, reacting to the President's health care bill, asked, "do you feel sodomized?"
**Pace hyenas!

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