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Now, we here at Dissent the Blog in no way condone shoe-pelting, here or abroad. Still, we couldn't help but ask ourselves, "What if someone were to throw a shoe at Raghu P. Mathur?"
What kind of shoe should one throw?
This is what's known as a philosophical question. It has no bearing or relevance to reality whatsoever. I've been teaching the subject (i.e., philosophy) for 25 years, and I know. In reality, no one is going to throw a shoe at Raghu, nor should anyone get the notion to do so. So our question is way whimsical, fey even.
Still, it is important to ask: What kind of shoe should one throw at the fellow, if one were to throw a shoe at him (which, naturally, one would never do)?
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Ah, yes, but thongs' celebrated lift is more a hindrance than a help, for, once launched, they go all akimbo, like a freakin' Sopwith Camel.
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Yeah, but obviously you'd waste beer. My German heritage wouldn't allow it.
Let's get logical. What would be the most appropriate shoes to toss at the Gooster?
Why, of course, it would be a pair of rat slippers!
Yeah, but you've gotta kill rats to make rat slippers, and I'm an animal rights guy, so that's definitely out.
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Yeah, but you'd have to wear 'em into the building before pelting him with them, and they kind of stand out like neon pontoons.
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As you know, Raghu's nickname is "Goo," and "guh" means "sh*t" in Hindi. (The district's lawyers told me this.) So what about a pair of goo-encrusted sneakers?
Nah. You wouldn't wanna get any goo on you.
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These philosophical questions are hard!
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Yeah, but I don't want to implicate Old Glory in this thing. I'm an Eagle Scout, you know. I know about flag etiquette.
Well, I'll be thinking on this. Somebody sent me some more suggestions, but I dunno. Check 'em out.
Stone boots? I don't know how anybody ever gets 'em on!
* * * * *
I just heard that the SOCCCD Faculty Association's negotiations have been concluded. Check it out!
George Bush attacked with shoes:
Flying a Sopwith Camel:
Flying a Fokker D.VII:
8 comments:
Throw the stone boots. Perfect.
das boot! (2:56)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qbJqPF1mCw&feature=related
I think we should throw socks, too. Stinky ones.
You have the opportunity to throw, not one, but two shoes at Bush and you miss both times! This was obviously a job for Random Task!
Nice article, but you make the entire process far too complex, and unnecessarily so. When throwing a shoe at someone really dumb, there is just on rule to be followed. Make sure the shoe you throw is as dumb as the dumb-as-a-shoe you're throwing it at. Or, to put it even more succinctly, make sure the shoe fits.
Bush has great reactions - very impressive - doubtful Al Gore could duck that fast. He'd have it sticking in his oversize schnoz. Then if it were Obama, he'd have caught the shoe and driven to the basket for a layup.
I don't know, IMO the throwing of the "size 10" shoe just about says it all about how thanks to "W" how the United States is viewed in other countries. As the saying goes, "If the shoe fits wear it," and IMO this sums up his administration. Although I wouldn't advocate hurling a shoe at any of our world leaders, in this case it was poetic justice. "W" has also put his foot in his mouth enough times, so now he is having one chucked at him. The shoe was thrown to make a point, and point was made.
You know, "W" invaded their country w/o any provocation (which Cheney later on admitted that we would have done whether or not there was any WMD), and b/c of this thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians were murdered, and United States military killed. As far as I'm concerned it was poetic justice. You know, "W" insulted the rest of the world's intelligence so for him to be insulted by the people he went in and tried to murder fits. That's just my opinion though. I definitely don't see the way "W" handled was all that smoothly. It's like "Sorry, try something less stupid." No, it didn't fall into the same category as Reagan's "Gee mommy, I forgot to duck."
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