Archive riches!

Yesterday, I added a dozen or so old blogs (i.e., old Dissent articles) to the ARCHIVES. You might find some of them worth reading. Check out October 1999. There you’ll find entertaining coverage of my court victory over the District. (For those new to the district saga: I was forced to defend myself against the District’s charge that Dissent—and thus I—had violated district policies concerning violence and discrimination. See Roy Bauer's 1st Amendment Battles.) For instance, there’s a transcript of the often-amusing court discussion between Judge Feess and the two lawyers, Carol Sobel and David Larsen. At one point, Feess ridicules union Prez Sherry Miller-White’s “fear” that I might drop a two-ton slab of granite on her head. Check it out. In response, the district's desperate lawyer, David Larsen, sputters forth a series of ridiculous instances of alleged Bauer "violence":

MR. LARSEN: [Bauer once told someone:] "You fucking asshole." [He's] violent in other people's face. [This is a reference to an incident, described in a declaration by Ken W, in which Bauer, upon being treated to one of W’s infantile needlings, muttered, “You fucking asshole,” as he walked away.] FEESS: Well, "You fucking asshole," if that's an assault, then the courts of the state system would be filled to overflowing…

I’ve added a separate account (You had to be there) of that 1999 court hearing. It ends with a scene on an elevator. Right after the hearing, all six of us—Carol and David, Sampson & Mathur, Wendy and me—end up together in that uncomfortably cramped space--and with that 800 pound gorilla of our having just kicked the district's ass:

Soon, we were out in the hallway, and, as luck would have it, all six of us ended up alone in an elevator, headin’ down. I smiled pleasantly. Dave turned to Carol and said, “Well, Carol, you did very well with the judge, as usual.” Without missing a beat, Carol responded by saying, “Yes, you did well, too, Dave.” Then she got that impish look. Gesturing toward Cedric and Raghu, she added: “—Given what you had to work with.” Wendy and I smiled, and maybe even snorted. Raghu glared. I’m not sure what Cedric did, ‘cuz I didn’t look at ‘im, but, later that evening, at the board meeting, he looked like a bloodless Halloween corpse, the poor fellow.

Those were good times! In one blog from 1999, Red Emma goes after an Old Guard apologist (Curt McLendon) in his usual amusing manner, only with lots of cool Spanish. Another blog relates some mailroom hijinks by two of the Old Guard’s best, namely, Walter Floser and Lee Walker—two remarkable instructors who’s names continue to come up whenever the subject of simultaneous chewing & walking arises. Two old blogs describe Andrew Tonkovich’s celebrated offer to provide security services for Raghu (Not-so-secret-service and In security). Tonkovich is a remarkably close (ahem) friend of Red Emma’s. His take on Raghu’s crocodile fears is amusing. The latter escapade was highlighted by our pals over at the OC Weekly, who, in 1999, gave us four bullets in their “best of” edition (We’re just the best). Check it out. Lee Walker’s infamous “fife and dumb corps” (to use Red’s memorable phrase) inspired several blogs, including Red Emma’s Poetry Korner and my Club WASP. The latter concerns Lee’s proud membership in the “Sons of the American Revolution,” a Tupperware kaffeeklatsch for dwarfs. I guess that some of these old blogs (e.g., The Chancellor’s opening session & the FA lunch AND Miss Fortune’s guide to holiday giving AND Tales of Mathurian Pettiness and Ruthlessness AND He keeps secret files on faculty!) are arguably mere historical records of distant absurdities. If you expect to live another 80 years, do be sure to read them before you're carted off to the boneyard. I came upon one very special blog, namely A quotational tour of recent district history (98-9). Just about anything that anybody said that’s worth repeating from those days is right there! Here’s an example of this blog’s many delights:

Krugel to Frogue: “Do you trade pictures of little girls with Joe Fields?” Williams: “Sir, I don’t want to hear any more comments about little girls.”

—From an exchange among Barry Krugel (of the JDL), trustees, and visitors during the June 15, 1998, board meeting. As Red and Reb like to say, “You can’t make this stuff up!” The “quotational” blog is a thousand points of blight—it’s a lengthy litany of preposterousness and shriekitude. On the other end of the spectrum are such concise nuggets as Rebel Girl’s Consultin’ Collegially, Raghu Style, which is 25 words long. 25 words? Hell, I’ve got more than 25 references to "rat bastards" in some of these pieces!