Mere "foul language"? Orange County Is Bein' Ridiculous Again

"No cussing"

     I just read an article in the Reg that reports that a student at a local high school is accusing his coach of outrageous behavior.
     That doesn’t surprise me. What surprises me is that the reporter—and some of the people he interviewed—describe the coach’s alleged behavior as using “vulgar language.”
     That's quite an understatement. As someone (maybe me) noted in a comment,

   If the coach were to use the usual expletives in, say, describing his visit to a proctologist, then, I suppose, that would be a case of using vulgar language. But this coach displayed homophobia and racism in particularly raw forms—even toward individual students. Further, his treatment of the student in question is verbally violent and disturbingly aggressive. It is bullying behavior.

     Well, judge for yourself (and don't forget to check out the Reg's notorious reader comments!):

Teen's complaint shines light on coach's vulgarity, sports culture
Fullerton baseball player Grant Sims, 16, comes forward to discuss a taboo topic – foul language in coaching.

     I recommend a visit to Merriam-Webster Online. These dictionary people offer cool games (love the vocab quiz) and a series of entertainingly opinionated videos concerning word histories and word usage.
     Sexy, man. Really.

Check out the debate over Why American Students Can’t Write in The Atlantic

Mom, c 1953

CSU system may slash enrollment by 20,000 if tax measure fails (OC Reg)

     The California State University system will cut student enrollment by 20,000 if Proposition 30 fails, officials said Thursday.
     The 23-campus system is telling perspective students they can begin applying Monday for fall 2013, but campuses will hold applications until after voters decide on the proposed tax initiative.
     The cut would amount to about a 5 percent drop in enrollment for the 400,000-student system. Cal State Fullerton, with enrollment of about 37,600, could lose 1,500 to 2,000 students, according to estimates….

Rebel Girl's Poetry Corner: "Beneath us the teachers, and around us the stillness"

Gratitude to Old Teachers

—Robert Bly

When we stride or stroll across the frozen lake,
We place our feet where they have never been.
We walk upon the unwalked. But we are uneasy.
Who is down there but our old teachers?

Water that once could take no human weight
We were students then—holds up our feet,
And goes on ahead of us for a mile.
Beneath us the teachers, and around us the stillness.

*

(photo: Professor Richard Lee, in the Cal Sate Long Beach parking lot.  Professor Lee was one of Rebel Girl's patient and persistent professors in the early 1980s.  Sometimes she thinks of him when she is in the classroom, how he smiled at her and made her feel welcome at the university, a place that did not always welcome her.)

*

We're #1

     Golly, the SOCCCD gets a dishonorable mention in Gustavo Arellano’s 50 Reasons Why Orange County is The Worst Effing Place in America (OC Weekly). We come up in reason #18:



Anaheim, 1924

 18. And on that note, we're genocide-denying central, from the Institute for Historical Review (the largest Holocaust-denying publishing house in the world) to a community college district who employed a Holocaust denier to Kevin MacDonald, the Long Beach St. professor whose writings are the intellectual framework for modern-day anti-Semitism to the anti-Armenian genocide ravings of Ergun Kirlikovali and his bands of outraged Ottomans.

UC to pay $1 million to pepper-sprayed Occupy protesters (OC Reg)

…UC officials believe the cost of going to trial would be more expensive than the cost of settling the lawsuit, [UC spokesman Steve] Montiel said….

U. of California Will Pay Nearly $1-Million to Settle Pepper-Spray Lawsuit (CHE)

SEE Be a pepper....

Campuses Remember Mikel Anthony Williams and Carlos Salas, Victims of Violent Deaths (Navel Gazing; Matt Coker)

      Each of the South Orange County Community College District's two main campuses is dealing with the recent tragic death of a beloved student.

     Irvine Valley College adult learner Mikel Anthony Williams, 55, became the 10th murder victim in Anaheim on Aug. 30. Newly enrolled Saddleback College student Carlos Salas was skateboarding to his Laguna Niguel home early Sept. 7 when he was struck by a hit-and-run driver and dragged 25 feet. The 20-year-old later died at the hospital....

Saddleback student dragged and left to die (Lariat)

The September meeting of the SOCCCD Board of Trustees: uh-oh, unfunded retiree health benefit liabilities!

     [Update: Be sure to read Tere's Board Meeting Highlights.]
     I just walked in—in the middle of the invocation. So I missed the "read out" of actions during closed session.
     [For what it's worth, Tere reports that the board approved "A Police Officers Association Master Agreement between the District and POA for the July 1, 2012 to June 30, 2015." My guess is that that is what was read out.]

     No public comments. Natch.
     Nancy and Co. went straight to trustee reports.

     Bill Jay: yammered a bit about "enrollments." The big issue, evidently. Huh?
     Mike Meldau: no report
     Marcia Milchiker: said something, I dunno. Went to 9-11 ceremony.
     TJ Prendergast: has learned that there are problems with parking at the colleges. Really?
     Nancy Padberg: went to 9-11 ceremony, etc. IVC and SC had dueling ceremonies.
     Jim Wright: went to 9-11 commemoration. Attended guest lecture. Toured the "Library and Learning Resources Center." All the computers were being used. "Wonderful." Attended memorial service for instructor. Looking forward to Homecoming game.
     Dave Lang: attended IVC's 11th annual 9-11 shebang. Attended a UCI event: STEM initiative. U.S. comparison with other nations not good in Science and Math. Went on tour of Library and LRC. Unrest abroad in Libya and elsewhere. We should think about Free Speech vs. blah blah blah. Hate speech, blah blah blah. Dunno what that was about. Is there hate speech afoot? How about betrayal, Bean Boy?
     Student trustee Park: spoke about Club Day, etc.

     Chancellor's Report (Gary Poertner): Thanks to faculty for presentations re student success, etc. Extremely important work being done to promote student success.

     Board requests for reports: Lang has a request—evidently on agenda. Passes unanimously.

     Discussion item: 4.2, "College Completion Agenda"

     Bob Cosgrove of Saddleback College: mentions 4 presenters. Making connections with middle schools and high schools to make students better prepared for college writing. And also the link to universities.
     Kathy Schmeidler: introduces Brenda Borron and Dean Karima Feldhus and a Jonathan Alexander (of UCI).

     SADDLEBACK: Two Saddleback gals (Dawn Lewis and Renee Bangerter) come up and talk up this and that. I think that one of 'em said that 70-90% of students come to colleges unprepared re math and writing. Good grief. Sounds about right though. These gals are pretty chirpy.
     Projected on the screen: EPLC Projects. Created tutorials, etc. Created a "rubric" and went out to "norm" faculty. Got high school faculty up to speed. Then our funding was cut. Turned to an outside vendor. Averted disaster. Focused on Common Core Standards, etc. They're "thrilled" with progress, reception. We wanted to reach out to High School teachers locally. But then this thing went national. Something about "turnitin" online. They showed us the "rubrics." I gather that the work that this local group did went national somehow. A big deal.
     "It's been very humbling" to learn what students need to successfully transfer to college courses, etc.--said the one gal who teaches High School I guess.

     IRVINE VALLEY: Next: the IVC crew. Dean Feldhus speaks. Joining her, Jonathan Alexander (UCI) and Brenda Borron (IVC): We're very impressed with what Saddleback is doing. Won't repeat that info. Brenda and Jonathan presented here previously; won't repeat all that. Will focus on feedback re our collaborative session(s). Thanks to Brenda's work, we've been way ahead of the curve. Refers to the CA Task Force's recommendation concerning outreach, etc. with local schools. The comments we've heard from those involved in these discussions (collaboration between the segments) have been very positive. No finger-pointing. They read testimonials.
     Gosh, it's almost a TV commercial.
     Dean Feldhus reads comments from high school participants, etc. These seemed less impressive, albeit appreciative. "Much more solid than I anticipated," said someone.
     More testimonials, comments, of participants. High school instructors drew attention to the "huge numbers" of students they must teach. Too little time, etc. Sounds pretty grim at K-12.
     It does appear that this collaborative session they are describing was precisely the sort of thing the Task Force had in mind.
     Alexander noted that this is lots of "talk." How do we assess all this activity? They'll make an effort to see if anything is changing in the high school classrooms. We'll get back to you within a year.
     It is important for students and faculty to understand what sort of writing will be expected of students when they get to college.
     Alexander: working with "your faculty" (IVC, Saddleback) is best experience I've ever had (he's been involved in these efforts for many years). Sounds good.

     NEXT DISCUSSION ITEM: 4.1 District-wide Strategic Plan

     Didn't catch this woman's name [Denice Inciong], but she is familiar. She's presenting the "annual report" re district-wide strategic plan. Six major goals, 14 objectives, etc. 76 "action-steps." Good Lord.
   
     GOAL 1: District-wide culture, mutual respect, etc. Identified 5 top barriers to cooperation. Will focus on addressing these "barriers."
     GOAL 2: student preparedness, yada yada. Innovations....
     GOAL 3: maintaining techno leadership, etc. Loves the word "utilized." Uh-oh.
     GOAL 4: integrated district-wide planning....
     GOAL 5: using data. More "utilizing." Sheesh.
     GOAL 6: assess ed needs of the communities.... This concerns ATEP.

     This woman seemed to do a good job, despite her embrace of that awful word "utilize."

     Next discussion item: 4.3: Accreditation report.

     Saddleback College: Burnett: we've got a draft report. Very proud of our college, our district. Very confident that this will turn out well. Thanks Cosgrove/Bushe. Introduces our "main writer," Claire C-S.

     Irvine Valley College: Roquemore echoes Burnett. Kathy Schmeidler here to answer any questions. In each case, board seemed satisfied. No questions. Moved on.

     4.4: Report on Actuarial Study of Retiree Health Benefit Liabilities. Deb Fitzsimmons comes up for this one.  Discusses an "actuarial study."
   
     Bad News. The gist of this report is that, owing to the longevity and early retirement trends of faculty (combined with fast increase in cost of medical benefits), we've got to cough up another $15 million. A big surprise. (I had lots of notes about this, but my computer took a rare dump. I'm scrambling here to fill in what I lost.)
      [Tere reports as follows:

   Compared to the results of a 2010 valuation, there has been a large increase in the Actuarial Accrued Liability (AAL) and Normal Cost (NC) in the amount of $15,820,942 for retiree health benefits.
   Dr. Debra L. Fitzsimons, Vice Chancellor of Business Services, provided a presentation of the actuarial report, and reviewed implications and funding options for the district. Some factors that affected these variations over the last two years include a huge increase in number of retirees (52 faculty recently retired), number of employees hired, higher costs for retiree medical claims, and PERS and STRS tables which were recently updated. In general, she said, people are retiring earlier and living longer, which also contributes to increased costs. Vice Chancellor Fitzsimons said an experience study will be conducted to verify data used in the actuarial study before the shortfall amount is finalized.]

     They move to the related 6.1: option and recommendations for funding the unfunded retiree health benefit liability.
     The trustees agreed to take a very conservative approach. They want to use Basic Aid monies (something about unrealized property taxes) to borrow $10 million to pay now, blah blah blah. Evidentally, we're going to engage in some examination of data to verify the state's factoids (or some such thing). Then we'll see where we really are unpaid liability-wise.
     But Lang wants to go the conservative route and pay this stuff off, whatever the amount.
     They essentially go with option 5, which involves paying off this liability asap, I think. Very conservative approach. Well, yeah, the board has long been careful that way.
     Fitzsimmons does a great job laying out the problem. (That I seem to want to say this is paradoxical, since I don't think I understood a word she said. You know me and fiscal stuff. My eyes glaze over.)
     Tere's Board Meeting Highlights explains that the board approved "Fully funding the retiree health liability shortfall before the end of this fiscal year, June 30, 2013, in the amount of $15,820,942 in basic aid funding pending further studies and verification of final amount."

     They pull 5.5 from the consent calendar: this is the change in name of the "James B. Utt Library" to the "Library and Learning Resources Center."
     Padberg recommends amending proposed name to include "in memory of Dr. Richard McCullough." Everyone likes this but I think they go forward with accepting the current recommendation (5.5) and will make name change later. Not sure. In any case, Lang and others seemed agreeable to Padberg's "McCullough" idea. Cosgrove chimes in with info that there's a move afoot to name another building after McCullough. Everybody seems on board with honoring McCullough.

     Nobody argued for resurrection of Utt, a fellow whose memory is best left in a dust bin.

     Then they charge through the rest of the agenda. (I've got to catch up here.)

     Gal (Kim McCord) comes up to give presentation on Proposition 30.
     .25% sales tax increase for 4 years.
     Increase personal income tax rates for 7 years (for high income)
     Etc.
     If 30 passes, 1% growth allowed for.
     Obviously, Proposition 30 needs to pass.

     Prendergast: carps about effect of all this belt-tightening on his high school. Huge. It's not good, but it could be worse. "It is what it is," says TJ. Someone solemnly repeat this alleged insight. Yep, it is what it is. Heads shake.

     They keep zipping through the agenda.

     Down to reports of groups.

     Saddleback College (Cosgrove): some high schools around here have 45 students per English class. Instructors spread thin. It means an additional burden on community colleges.
     Faculty Association (Jacobs): wearing "yes on 30" button. Praises tonight's presentation on 30. Prop 30 does seem most viable. As basic aid district, we're somewhat insulated. But these cuts will find their way to our doorstep. As it is, some of our students will find it difficult getting into CSU, will pay higher tuition, etc.
     IVC (Schmeidler): echoes Jacobs' sentiments. Will have more students banging on our doors. Highlights cooperation between two colleges. Groups working well together. Very collegial. Very healthy. Reflected in Accred follow-up reports. Padberg: "very good to hear."
     IVC President (Roquemore): focused on cooperation between the two colleges. "We're working together like we never have before."
     Saddleback President (Burnett): ditto about collaboration. SC extremely grieved, passing of Darrel Deiter(?). Sad also about loss of one of our students. Adam Rizoni served in Afganistan. Lots of events. Accred team visiting Nov. 9.
     Bramuci: no report
     Bugay: joke, didn't catch it
     Fitzsimmons: points out--something. Sounded good, whatever it was. 50% calculation mentioned. 51.71% for our district. (By law, at least 50% of expenditure must be for instruction. Mathur let us go in the red in this regard. Remember? There was a huge scramble, huge effort to hire 40 or so faculty all at once.)
     CSEA, classified senate: ...
     etc.

     Padberg: closes with comments about two who we lost recently. Mentions also an IVC student he passed away. I remember that kid; RG used to have 'em in our office.
     Padberg closes this meeting in memory of their lives.

More CYA down at the County?

Drakodaidis Placed on Admin Leave (Voice of OC)

     Alisa Drakodaidis, the Orange County deputy CEO who in July sent a politically explosive letter that alleged corruption among county supervisors, has been placed on administrative leave....

No more Butt Library

     On Monday, the SOCCCD board of trustees will hold its September meeting.
     It appears that, on that night, Chancellor Gary Poertner intends to quietly bring about the close of the "James B. Utt" era and to launch the "Boring And Inoffensive Names" (BAIN) era via the following consent calendar item:

ITEM: 5.5
RE: Saddleback College: Naming the Library and Learning Resource Center
. . .
STATUS
The Saddleback library building is undergoing an extensive renovation that includes a state-of-the-art learning resource center on the second floor. In keeping with the new design and its multi-purpose functionality, it is recommended that the building be named the Library and Learning Resource Center.

RECOMMENDATION
The Chancellor recommends that the Board of Trustees approve the naming the of the Saddleback College library building to be named the Library and Learning Resource Center.

     Not that I'm complaining.
     Well, I do have one complaint. Contrary to the agenda, they're not "Naming the [']Library and Learning Resource Center[']," cuz it doesn't yet have that name. They're either naming the as-yet-unnamed center—or they're renaming the "James B. Utt Library" (aka "Butt Library").
     I'm trained in philosophy, OK?
     Now if only Saddleback College would replace its "Frito Bandito" mascot!

     Another interesting item:

     That's cool.

James B. Utt Library: built as a fortress against students; hence no windows

City College of San Francisco's accreditation crisis

UPDATE: On the 19th, State Senator Leland Yee rebutted Shireman's commentary: Faculty voice key to CCSF's future

Who's in Control? (Inside Higher Ed)

     Robert Shireman has long criticized colleges and lawmakers for not doing enough to protect lower-income students. But now that he's back in California, after a stint battling for-profit colleges for the U.S. Department of Education, Shireman has found a new opponent: faculty leaders at the state's community colleges and an approach to shared governance he says created the mess at City College of San Francisco.
. . .
     The problem, he said, is a “labyrinthine” approach to shared governance by California’s community colleges that is perhaps unique in American higher education.
     The state Legislature in 1988 updated a law calling for community colleges and their districts to “ensure faculty, staff and students the right to participate effectively in district and college governance, and the opportunity to express their opinions at the campus level and to ensure that these opinions are given every reasonable consideration.”
     The language in the bill (AB 1725) is fine, according to Shireman. But he said the supporting regulations drafted later by the Board of Governors of the California Community Colleges give Academic Senates too much clout. Local governing boards have the choice of reaching “mutual agreement” with the faculty groups or essentially deferring to them on decision-making about a broad array of issues, extending well beyond curriculums and academics….

Family of 6 in 570 square foot studio apartment?

KPCC reports that Democratic challenger Steve Young is suing to have Republican State Senator Mimi Walters removed from the ballot.

Walters is up for re-election in the 37th district which includes Irvine.  The district, like many others, was recently redrawn.

excerpt:

....To run in the district, Walters reportedly moved from her home in Laguna Niguel to a residence in Irvine. 

The biography on Walters' State Senate website says “she and her husband, David, live in the City of Irvine with their four children.”

But the lawsuit claims Walters' move is only on paper, pointing to the size of her Irvine rental as proof: it's a 570- square-foot studio apartment.

That would be a big step down, according to the lawsuit, which claims Walters and her family still live in a 14,000-square-foot home in Laguna Niguel where they've resided for more than a decade.

To read the rest, click here.

from the Los Angeles Times:  State Sen. Mimi Walters challenged by opponent over her residency

excerpt: 

"Brad Chase, a spokesman for Young, said the campaign sent flowers to the Irvine apartment and they sat uncollected on the doorstep for a week. "

Stay tuned.

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District lets coach go, disciplines two in kickback scheme (OC Reg)

Tuition increase? Again?

     A Saddleback Valley walk-on football coach has been let go and two other high school coaches have been formally reprimanded after being accused of receiving thousands of dollars in gifts and checks via an elaborate kickback scheme involving an athletic supply company.
. . .
     Last year, Mission Viejo's Saddleback College disciplined one athletic department employee in the Lapes Athletic matter, while Irvine Unified completed an investigation but determined no wrongdoing on the part of its employees.

CSU trustees confirm plan: Voters to decide on 5% tuition increase (OC Reg)

     California State University trustees ratified Wednesday a proposal to leave a tuition increase in the hands of voters….

"As with any class, sometimes nothing works."

     Rebel Girl arrived home yesterday to find this week's Nation waiting in her mailbox. In it it, she found a kindred spirit, a community college composition teacher.  Just what she needed.  In his essay, "I Hear America Singing, Wick Sloane writes about his Writing 1 class at Bunker Hill Community College in Boston and shares some of his students's work.

excerpt:

     Bunker Hill Community College in Boston, where I teach College Writing I, has more than 13,000 students, including almost 500 veterans. The average student age is 27. More than half are women, and 77 percent are people of color. Forty-four percent receive Pell Grants. 

     Many are immigrants, from more than ninety-five countries. The languages spoken in the class that wrote these poems include Creole, Spanish, Portuguese (one via Brazil, one via Angola), French and Swahili. The site of Bunker Hill CC, where Charlestown prison once stood, has good progressive credentials. This is where Sacco and Vanzetti were jailed and executed. The prison library was where Malcolm X went to read. The film Good Will Hunting was set here.

     This summer I was tracking down a student whose family has been lost in the civil war in Mali. After I wrote a column about hunger on college campuses, Bunker Hill hosted its fourth food bank in three months, an eighteen-wheeler filled by the Greater Boston Food Bank. The food was gone in ninety minutes. Amid all this, two students from here will study at MIT this fall.

     As these poems show, Bunker Hill students have plenty of intellect. The best are as bright as any I have encountered in my platinum-spoon life. What’s missing for the students here is seat time to master intellectual and academic skills. They have not read the Western canon by the time they are 18. They have not already written half a dozen research papers in MLA style when they arrive in my class. But they are able to understand the books and write such papers when shown the way.

     As with any class, sometimes nothing works. I pulled out Walt Whitman’s “I Hear America Singing” as a last resort one day and asked the students to write their own versions, saying only that they may choose a verb other than “singing.” The results the first time astonished me. They still do. My hope is that we can encourage teachers everywhere to steal this assignment and flood the US Capitol with the results. Our hope for America is that whatever crimes we may commit, voices like these will keep bubbling up and send the country soaring.

I Hear America Crying   by Chantal Midgette

I hear America crying; the varied sounds I hear;
The young teenager ends her dreams because a newborn child interferes
The widow, mother of four who lost her husband in a war
The woman being abused at home, praying to live life no more
The bullied child at school who is in pain
The Afghan family hoping they’ll be accepted again
The black man on death row for killing his own kind
Too late to turn back time, a brown leather cowl will make him blind
The white man judged as a racist for protecting himself from a black gunman
Sad to see that people doesn’t care that he’s a veteran
Crying, with tears, falling down to their ears, the sounds I hear

     To read more  poems by Wick Sloane's Writing 1 class which appear in the September 24, 2012 issue of The Nation, click here.

*

Big names set for Big Orange Book Festival (OC Register)

     The Big Orange Book Festival debuts at Chapman University on Friday and Saturday with appearances by a few dozen writers including well-known novelists such as Alice Sebold, author of the novel "The Lovely Bones" and the memoir "Lucky," and Sapphire, whose novel "Push" was adapted into the Oscar-winning movie "Precious."
     The festival, which takes place at various locations on the Chapman campus, also includes an appearance by Mary Badham, the actress who played Scout in "To Kill A Mockingbird," talking about the transformation of Harper Lee's novel into a much-loved film, and Lizz Winstead, co-creator and former head writer of "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central….

Professors and the Students Who Grade Them (New York Times)

CUNY College’s English Dept. Is Threatened With Cuts in Dispute Over Course Hours (Chronicle of Higher Education)

     In a move that the City University of New York’s faculty union characterized as “extraordinary retaliation,” the English department at the system’s Queensborough Community College was warned last week that it could see sharp cuts in course offerings, adjuncts’ jobs, and possibly full-time positions next fall because of a dispute between faculty and administrators over whether weekly course hours in English composition classes should be reduced from four hours to three.
     The staff cuts and course eliminations were listed in a letter from a college vice president that is cited in the statement by the union…
     The letter … came a day after the department voted to reject the administration’s plan to begin offering three-hour composition courses next fall. Ms. Steele wrote that because the department’s existing four-hour composition classes do not align with the systemwide Pathways initiative for standardizing common-core classes across CUNY’s campuses, the courses will not be offered next fall, and Queensborough students will have to take them at other campuses…. (continued)

Out of the Past: SOCCCD images/graphics

First, a couple of old Dissent covers. This one's from 2000.

"No rat bastards. Nope" it says

From early 1999. Our enduring love of cats is in evidence.

Remember Chancellor Cedric Sampson? He had a hell of a time trying to work with our board. He and I were friendly—he used to happily receive our newsletters—until Raghu and Co. decided to try to get me fired over those very newsletters. Sheesh. 

What did this mean? Nothing. It was simply ridiculous.

This probably meant something. That's Dorothy Fortune with her boy Cedric.

Sampson died in 2002. He was fired by the board in early 2001--he had been on leave owing to illness. The action came as a surprise to many. (I do believe he resided in San Juan C when he died. Trustee Wagner briefly mentioned Sampson's death during the Nov 2002 board meeting.)

I think this is from the opening of ATEP, c. 2007. That's Don Wagner with that space-mobile in the background.

This is from the same day, I think. That's Tracy Daly interviewing Supervisor Campbell.

You'll recall "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"

This is from c. 1997. Students Delilah Snell and Diep (Deb) Burbridge led the way in challenging IVC's president and then the district re violations of their First Amendment rights. (The two prevailed.)

They've both gone on to interesting careers. I do believe that Deb has a tenured position teaching biology at Long Beach City College. And Delilah is often in the news in connection with her store, The Road Less Traveled.

Delilah these days

That's Diane Oaks, looking fashionable, at the aforementioned ATEP opening

C. 2001, I guess

Raghu Mathur's famous $1,000 chair

From September, 2000

Future SOCCCD Chancellor (and current IVC President) Glenn Roquemore doesn't want anyone to remember this, but he got his start as an administrator by playin' along with the odious Raghu P. Mathur.

Next: an old sidebar graphic:

From the archives

Click here: THE INFAMOUS DROPPED DRAWERS by Red Emma

Busy Doing Nothing

This ditty was featured in "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" (1949) and Rebel Girl presents it here per the special request from a longtime IVC denizen.  No word about which sector of the college inspired this request. You'll have to figure it out yourself.

Enjoy!



Yes, that's Der Bingle.

*

Rebel Girl's Poetry Corner: "what world is this that makes our lives sufficient even as the horizon’s rope is about to snap"

     Khaled Mattawa 's book, Amorisco, features a long poem, “East of Carthage: An Idyll.”  Mattawa was born in Libya and has spent much of his adult life living in the United States.
     Here's the opening.

EAST OF CARTHAGE: AN IDYLL

1.
Look here, Marcus Aurelius, we’ve come to see
your temple, deluded the guards, crawled through a hole
in the fence. Why your descendent, my guide and friend
has opted for secrecy, I don’t know. But I do know
what to call the Africans, passport-less, yellow-eyed
who will ride the boat before me for Naples, they hope.
Here the sea curls its granite lip at them and flings a winter
storm like a cough, or the seadog drops them at Hannibal’s
shores, where they’ll stand stupefied like his elephants.
What dimension of time will they cross as the Hours loop
tight plastic ropes round their ankles and wrists?
What siren song will the trucks shipping them back
to Ouagadougou drone into their ears? I look at them
loitering, waiting for the second act of their darkness
to fall. I look at the sky shake her dicey fists.
One can be thankful, I suppose, for not being one of them,
and wrap the fabric of that thought around oneself
to keep the cold wind at bay. But what world is this
that makes our lives sufficient even as the horizon’s rope
is about to snap, while the sea and sky ache to become
a moment to peel itself like skin off fruit, and let us in
on its sweetness as we wait, smoking or fondling provisions,
listening to the engine’s invocational purr. In an hour
that will dawn and dusk at once, one that will stretch
into days strung like beads on the horizon’s throat,
they will ride their tormented ship as the dog star
begins to float on the water, so bright and still,
you’d want to scoop it out in the palm of your hand.

*
( This poem - and this poet - was brought to Rebel Girl's attention by Forest Gander in his essay post, "Libya: Don't Look Away." Photo of Medusa Head by Forrest Gander.)

*

I have a dream (and faculty have a union)

"We're an organization, and we have tasks to perform!" said the rabbit

    [Colleagues, on Monday, at IVC, the SOCCCD Faculty Association held a Rep Council meeting.]

     Gosh, I woke up this morning from a terrible dream, and you know how that is: you’re in a twilight zone as your brain stumbles from sleep to wakefulness; it's like a trip in one of those Star Trek transporters, which means that, for all that you know, the old you is obliterated and a new you comes into being, oblivious that he’s just then started to exist, a fraud, a copy, with fake memories and a fake ID.
     So maybe I’ve got nothing to do with this dream, but, anyway, in that dream I seem to remember going yesterday to a meeting of the AARP, which somehow was the faculty union, and it was just horrible, man. It was in some awful room at IVC where, on the wall, there’s a map of the world, but China and Indochina are obliterated by a handout. What’s that about?
     I sat there, feeling unwelcome, like people with harry eyeballs kept expecting me to say something obnoxious, but I had no intention of saying anything, and, in any case, I remained silent and just sat there, marveling at the decrepitude and lunacy around me. Everybody seemed old or sick or demented. I wanted to get out of there, but I was frozen.
     “We’ve got a new office!” screamed geezer #17, and then a group of oldsters suddenly ran to the white board and tried to pin up a poster of James B. Utt, but every time they got it up there for a second or two, it just fell down again, and the pins flew across the room causing everybody to duck and run, but in the manner of elderly folk.
     Then somebody who was lying on the ground, sleeping, suddenly got up and started reciting a nursery rhyme followed by the numbers 30, 32, and 38. It was some kind of geezer mantra I guess, and it caused some of the old farts and lunatics to get mad and start tearing up chairs. “These are chairs,” they declared. “And they’re worth more than you think!”
     OK. That was weird. But then some gal said we could rescue the whole situation if we just get everybody to give a quarter of their senses. But that didn’t make sense to me since we’ve got five senses, not four, but I’m pretty sure that everyone was agreeable nonetheless, and that worried me plenty, cuz I started to think that I was that quarter or that sense. You know dreams.

RG in England, years ago

     The geezers started singing a song that everybody knew and liked. “Make rich bastards pay and pay!” they chanted, whilst one guy with a really big two-toned head started laying out spread sheets with zillions of numbers on ‘em. “15 to 1,” he said, and everyone understood. Not me, boy.
     “Get your clingy car stickers!” shouted the lady from kindergarten. "Talk to your friends!" Don’t know what that was about. She drove a Honda, I think, but how would I know?
     Somebody handed the guy with the head a sack of nickels, and he eagerly grabbed it, as he carped bitterly about his predecessor, a “political consultant” that “we paid for” through those cool automatic deductions that some people think are downright un-American.
     It was all very Alice in Wonderland, complete with Mad Hatters and white weasels and a greasy fat guy sitting high above us on a wall, smiling and cracking and seeming to know something important.
     Somebody scrawled “Meldau” on the whiteboard, and, just then, that Utt poster popped one of its two pins and started swinging across the room straight at me like some giant tractor blade. That’s when the Wizened Ones sauntered into the room, saying little but smiling at the fat guy up on that wall. “We’re here,” they said, and they started to cry. They invited Fat Boy to “come on down” and receive valuable cash prizes in the amount of just over $5,000—evidently, a gift from the AARP. But there were some oldsters there who were totally against the idea somehow, but, despite that, the appearance of the Wizened Ones and the Fat Boy caused the “Meldau” on the whiteboard to fade and disappear. Evidently, that was some kind of disaster, and some people started to moan.
     That’s when a rollercoaster suddenly roared through the room, first threatening to kill the organization’s new Prez, who was oddly silent for a moment, but then it veered violently to the right into that greasy fat, stupid, and corrupt guy, who was clutching his $5K. He dropped and farted but hung onto his cash, still smiling. The Wizened Ones then commenced carping about their latest round of plastic surgery and the inconvenience of keeping tabs on their many investments. “Fuck Brown,” they chanted. “Long live the Tio Fountain.”
     Sheesh. I’m getting too old for dreams.


A joker is not a devil, but a demagogue is a jackass

     Then somebody dragged a huge chair into the room, demanding that it be valued properly, but that activity got “tabled” or something, and nobody knew whether to shit or go blind.
     “Well, we can make a motion that we’ll just sit here and wait,” said the blond robot with the glasses, but the guy sitting to my right said flatly, “You don’t need a motion to do nothing, stupid.” I looked over at ‘im with admiration, but then he, too, disappeared, leaving only a smirk and a late grade submission form.
     “Breast implants!” screamed somebody, probably a woman. “We now get breast implants!” Everybody seemed to agree that that was a good thing. Guess so. “Didn’t we get those before?” I asked. “No!” screamed the crowd of oldsters in unison. “It’s your union at work,” they insisted.
     Next, the Prez stood up and said that the “evaluation forms are written,” and that we’d all have to use them to get evaluated by our students. On the other hand, said geezer #5, after students take 'em, nobody gets to look at ‘em, and they’re just gonna be thrown into the trash along with collegial consultation and single-semester sabbaticals. That seemed to please everybody except the guy who wanted MySite evals.
     Well, that’s about when I woke up, unless you buy into the "five second hypothesis," which, as you know, has never been disproved and that may well be true.