The year in OC, according to Matt, et al.

Our pal Godzilla, on a relaxing jog in O'Neill Park (June)

     Coupla days ago, our pal Matt Coker (and others) of OC Weekly posted a review of OC News in the past year called "What We Learned: The Year on Navel Gazing and Beyond!” 
     Here’s just a tiny fraction of that excellent snarkification. (I’ll start with stuff that mentions “us.”)

* * *

     San Juan Capistrano City Councilman Derek Reeve, who previously called for guns to be allowed in city parks, reveals during a Sept. 6 vote on a local dog park that he has a pooch named Muhammad after the Islamic prophet. Religious and civil-rights leaders soon demand apologies, and the host of The O'Reilly Factor deems Reeve "a pinhead." [Defiant and unrepentant plagiarist Reeve is also an adjunct Poli Sci professor at Saddleback College.]
     What we learned: We actually agree with Bill O'Reilly on something. [Plus: Saddleback College is unperturbed by Reeve's defiant plagiarism. The fellow's set to teach two courses there this spring.]

* * *

     More than 25 years after he allegedly stabbed Saddleback College drama student Robbin Brandley 41 times in an unlit campus parking lot, Andrew Urdiales, a former Camp Pendleton Marine, finally returns to Orange County Oct. 4 to face trial for her murder, as well as that of several others. Seeing as how he confessed to the crime back in 1997, you'd think he'd have arrived sooner. But besides killing several women in Southern California, Urdiales also went on a murder spree in Illinois, where he was tried, convicted and sentenced to death. Because that state abolished its death penalty several years ago, Orange County DA [& Pal o' Fuentes] Tony Rackauckas figured the time is right to bring Urdiales back here for a jury trial, after which, if convicted, he'll be eligible for execution again. 
     What we learned: Despite the economic recession, as long as there's a chance to lethally inject you, Orange County has no problem picking up your one-way travel bill.

* * *

     A federal appeals court on Jan. 6 upholds the public-corruption conviction of [IVC "Hometown Hero"] Mike Carona. Later in the month, Orange County's sheriff-turned-felon starts his five-and-a-half-year sentence in a federal prison in Colorado…. 

* * *

     All defendants in the so-called "Irvine 11" case are found guilty Sept. 23 of two criminal misdemeanor charges—disturbing a public meeting and engaging in a conspiracy to do so—for disrupting a speech by Israeli ambassador Michael Oren at UC Irvine in February 2010. The Muslim students are sentenced to three years of informal probation and 56 hours of community service. 
     What we learned: Only in OC is not minding your manners a crime.

It's a good thing that community colleges are locally controlled!

* * *

     Cal State Long Beach student-published newspaper Union Weekly is under fire for publishing an article March 14 titled "Pow Wow Wow Yippee Yo Yippy Yay" that slams a Native American campus festival with ignorance and crassness ("Indian tacos? What the fuck are Indian tacos?"). After the American Indian Student Council demands university administrators condemn the piece, the paper issues an apology. 
     What we learned: Kemo Sabe write with forked tongue. 

* * *

     Orange County is the only major metropolitan area in the United States with an African-American community that's less than 5 percent of the entire population; we clock in at an embarrassing 3 percent. Yay, diversity! We are reminded of what happens when gabachos don't grow up among blacks on Jan. 17, when a Laguna Beach surf shop offers a special Martin Luther King Jr. sale: all black items half-off. HAR HAR! Our marking of the civil-rights martyr gets even more hilarious a week later, when a UC Irvine cafeteria sells fried chicken and waffles in his honor. [It's a good thing the media generally ignores IVC. I recall the time they showed "The King and I" for multicultural day.]
     What we learned: Why black people don't live here.

* * *

     Villa Park City Councilwoman and Orange County GOP vice chairwoman Deborah Pauly tells a crowd outside a Yorba Linda Muslim charity event Feb. 13 that "sheer, unadulterated evil" is happening inside. As families with small children somberly file in, Pauly mentions that her son and others in the U.S. Marines would be willing to "help those terrorists to an early meeting in Paradise." 
     What we learned: Pauly puts the "c*nt" [Oh my] in conservative.

* * *

     The Weekly on April 15 posts a copy of an email cast wide by Marilyn Davenport, a little old Fullerton lady who belongs to the Tea Party and Orange County GOP Central Committee, that depicts Barack Obama as the baby in a family portrait of chimps above the caption "Now you know why no birth certificate." Davenport swears the image is not racist, a media shitstorm ensues, and county Republican chairman Scott Baugh calls for her resignation to no avail. 
     What we learned: Moxley can crush a softball.

* * *

     Homeless man Kelly Thomas is beaten senseless by Fullerton Police officers on July 5 and taken off life support five days later. A vigil held in Kelly's honor—across the street from the Fullerton Police station—draws a diverse crowd of local transients, conservative homeowners, elderly folks, teenagers from as far away as Santa Clarita and the Thomas family, all holding candles and seeking the same thing: justice. 
     What we learned: With two cops later charged in Thomas' death, some justice may happen.

* * *

     FullertonsFuture.org is the first website to post photographs and videos pertaining to the beating death of Kelly Thomas, but the Weekly is the first media organization to get them up, on Navel Gazing July 25. The combination of the image Thomas' battered face in the hospital bed taken shortly after his death and the videotape taken by onlookers who watched as the cops tortured him as he screamed, "Dad, dad, dad" eventually plays a role in a stunning decision by prosecutors (read ahead). 
     What we learned: As a veteran Orange County defense attorney once remarked, no cop will ever be charged with murder in this county unless the victim is a) white, b) handcuffed, c) lying down and d) part of an incident in which cops are stupid enough to be caught on camera.

Don Wagner will always be Don Wagner: offending Italo-Americans

* * *

     In Orange County, citizens historically look the other way when dirty cops and deputies kill, maim, scar, harass, rape, steal, vandalize, lie or otherwise prove their corruption. But District Attorney Tony Rackauckas, a conservative Republican, finally says enough is enough during an emotional Sept. 21 press conference. Too bad it took the savage police murder of Kelly Thomas in Fullerton for the local justice system to confront scumbags wearing badges. 
     What we learned: There might actually be a limit on what dirty cops can get away with in OC.

* * *

     Chuck DeVore, the former state assemblyman and current tech-savvy conservative, tweets on Oct. 14 that he won't run against fellow Republican Todd Spitzer for a seat on the Orange County Board of Supervisors, as he's leaving to become a visiting scholar at the Texas Public Policy Foundation.DeVore's parting shot: "As with many in the Golden State, I have found it hard to earn enough to support my family." 
     What we learned: It's hard out here for a GOP pimp.

Showing The King and I? Must be Multicultural Day at IVC!

* * *

     Members of Santa Ana and Irvine Occupy movements join hundreds of protesters from Pasadena, Las Vegas, Long Beach and Los Angeles in attempting to close the Goldman Sachs-owned SSA Terminal in the Port of Long Beach on Dec. 12. Though they don't succeed, activists show real chutzpah standing face-to-face with Long Beach Police armed with big sticks and later CHP officers rocking bright-orange shotguns. 

     What we learned: While restraint by both sides saw the day end peacefully, we now know for future reference that vinegar is a good thing to have in the event of a tear-gas assault.

Still half-assed

     HALF-ASSED LARIAT. Back on Dec. 5, the Saddleback College Lariat posted an editorial entitled, “What should the new Library be named?", written by “staff.” It said

     Saddleback College has the rare opportunity to start over in recreating one of the most pivotal buildings on campus, the library. ¶ The library at Saddleback has been under construction since spring of 2010…. ¶ The next step to completing the Library is to give it a name. Currently the name is the James B. Utt [Memorial] library which has been given the nickname the "Butt Library."

     (Actually, “Butt” is a pretty good name for a “pivotal” building. Butts are pretty pivotal. Some butts.)
     Well, on the 8th, I submitted a comment to Lariat online, offering various naming suggestions. But it did not appear. Not that day.
     I submitted it again. Again, nothing.

Her butt is "pivotal"

     After a couple of days, I emailed the Lariat editor, pleasantly notifying him of the problem. Never heard back from that guy.
     Once in a while, I’d check, and my comment never appeared.
     —Until recently (it’s now the 30th). Just checked, and, well, there it is. You can read it yourself here, if you’ve a mind to. (I wouldn’t bother.)
     But how come the editor never got back to me? How come it took these people several weeks to post a comment?
     What kind of half-assed operation are they running over there?

* * *

     HALF-ASSED IVC WEBSITE IMPROVEMENTS: Speaking of half-assery, as you know, here at Irvine Valley College, “they” are endlessly working on our college website, trying to improve it. But it never seems to get better, near as I can tell. (Comparison of websites)
     Well, anyway, at about this time of year, I visit the IVC website to download the “Faculty Professional Development Week” ("Flex") schedule. After all, FPD week (pre-semester staff development activities) starts on Tuesday!
     Usually, I have no trouble finding the FPD Week Schedule. It’s just three or four clicks away.
     But not this time. I looked in the usual places, and it wasn’t there.
     (Yes, I know. The college emailed us the FPD Week schedule back on the 7th, but I managed to misplace the email.)
     I tried the Academic Senate website, and that led me to “Curriculum/Academic Affairs.” That opened a menu that included “Prof Fac Development.” That's it! I clicked on that and got—nothing.
     I went to the “Office of Instruction” site. That was no help at all.
     Finally, I used the search engine, searching under “staff development.” That gave me this site: IVC Staff Development and Flex. Great!

Nothing for Fall 2012?

     I went there. It listed two “flex schedules”—one for Fall 2011 (New! it shouted); another for Spring 2011.
     But there was nothing for Spring 2012.
     I gave up. (Since then, I found the lost email. That link actually worked.)

Finding Flex Week schedule at Saddleback website: easy-peasy

* * *

     HALF-ASSED ATEP WEBSITE. While perusing the IVC website, I noticed a link to ATEP, that endlessly gestating (but never arriving) third district campus out on Redhill in Tustin—the one supposedly dedicated to technical instruction and all manner of whiz-bangery. It is listed as “ATEP classes” on what appears to be the main menu of the IVC webpage (see). “Click.”
     That brought me to the ATEP website:

I wanna class

     I wondered: “What if I were a prospective student who was considering taking one of those technical courses over at ATEP? In fact, I got to this website clicking something that said ‘ATEP classes.’ Surely this site will help me to find those classes!”
     But no.
     The site is divided into two halves, with the right half dedicated to the district. The remaining half is for students (see above). It is entitled

ATEP CAMPUS: Classes from Irvine Valley College and Saddleback College

     Classes?! –That sounds promising!
     But no.
     I clicked on “programs.” Naturally, that brought me to a list of programs. I clicked on the first one: “applied technologies.” No classes appeared, just some alienating blather about the program. Ditto for the other programs.
     The second thing on the list looked promising: “Current Schedule - Workforce Training Classes”
     But no. That led to a site about, not classes, but a “free event,” a “comprehensive 5-hour workshop” about “Efficient Energy Use & Audit," whatever that is.
     The next item on the list was “How to Enroll.” But surely that would be helpful only after one has identified the courses that one wishes to take. Right?
     Essentially, "How to Enroll" offers a phone number.
     And so on.

* * *

     I’ve been on sabbatical. Next week’s my return to normal faculty life since the end of Spring 2011 (May)!
     It is, I guess, a return to half-assery.

• Chimpanzees seem to know what's on other chimps' minds (Guardian UK): Study done on IVC’s B-200 faculty. Scientists "stunned."

Utt the Nut helped put "under God" in the Pledge

     Back in November of 2005, the OC Register published a "book"—a one-off magazine, really—entitled, 100 People Who Shaped Orange County (see at left). No doubt it presents exactly the kind of white-washed history that makes our pal Gustavo Arellano piss and moan, but still, it does touch on important OC people, including Tustin's C.E. Utt, born in 1866 or thereabouts.

     Clarence Utt  was eight years old when he arrived with his family in "Tustin City" in 1874, and it wasn't much, comprising only "a small store, a blacksmith shop, a few shacks and acres of mustard grass" (according to 100 People). When his father died in 1891, the twenty-five year old Utt took over the family store and later took on the Tustin Water Works, turning it into a moneymaker. According to the Reg, if anything important happened in Tustin, "Utt was there." He went into agriculture, including citrus (with the likes of James Irvine), and eventually became the "Orange County goober king."

James B. Utt

     In 1899, goober boy had a son, namely—you guessed it!—James B. Utt, who ultimately served as an OC Congressman from 1953 until his death in 1970 (he was replaced by John Schmitz), about the time that the new Saddleback Community College was planning construction of a library. It was named the James B. Utt Memorial Library in 1973.

     We've noted previously that Utt ("the Nut," as he was sometimes called) sought to remove the U.S. from the United Nations and had a few unfortunate and embarrassing things to say about African Americans during the Civil Rights era. 

     But get this: according to the Utt article on p. 38 of 100 People, James B. "helped lead the effort to add 'under God' to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954." 

     Gosh, thanks James.
     As you know, the SOCCCD and Saddleback College have been loci of legal skirmishes, in recent years, concerning the so-called "separation of church and state." (See Westphal v. Wagner.)

     Here's the "Utt" article in 100 People (click on graphic to enlarge):

Photo: James is the boy at left

     According to a recent Saddleback College Lariat editorial, the college plans to change the library's name (it is undergoing extensive remodeling). 
     How 'bout the "Not Under God" Library? Godless Library? Porky Library?

Poli-tics suck our blood

Thinking about all the campaign nonsense. Therefore,

American Circus Lingo

Hide the alfalfa!

Alfalfa — Paper money.
Brodie — An accidental fall (but one which has an element of stupidity or clumsiness, rather than disaster). From the name of Steve Brodie, who in 1886 claimed to have survived a jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.
Bunce — Profits.
Butcher — Strolling vendor selling refreshments or souvenirs.
Carpet Clown — A clown who works either among the audience or on arena floor.
Cattle Guard — A set of low seats placed in front of the general admission seats to accommodate overflow audiences.
Chinese — Extra jobs done by circus personnel without additional pay.
Circus Candy — Very cheap confections with deceptively impressive packaging.
Cirky — Circus counterpart to the word "carny;" a circus employee.
Clem — A fight.
Clown Alley — The clowns' dressing and prop area.
Donniker — A rest room or toilet.

Poli tick

Fink — Anything broken. Also 'larry.'
Garbage Joint — The souvenir or novelty stand.
Gilly — Anyone not connected with the circus, an outsider or towner.
Hey Rube! — Traditional battle cry of circus people in fights with townspeople.
Horse — One thousand dollars.
Horse Feed — Poor returns from poor business.
Jackpots — Tall tales about one's exploits on the circus ('war stories'.)
John Robinson — A signal to cut or shorten an act, or to give a very short show altogether. If you were headed out to the ring, someone would say "John Robinson" to call for an abbreviated performance, or in the middle of an act if the ringmaster made the announcement "Would John Robinson please come to the rear entrance," the performer should go right into his last trick.
Jump — The distance between performances in different towns.

"John Robinson!"

Larry — "Something's wrong with it." Might describe damaged merchandise, or something worn out beyond any usefulness, or even a person who's a loser (however affable) - "He's just a larry."
Lot Lice — Local townspeople who arrive early to watch the unloading of the circus and stay late. Maybe they leave money behind, but they sure get in the way.
Night Riders — Bill posters for competing circuses, who posted paper for their employers in a gentlemanly fashion by day, and tore down or covered up the bills for their competition by night.
Picture Gallery — A tattooed man.
Pie Car Jr. — On the modern Ringling show, a trailer or wagon that provides meals on the back lot of the arena. What movie companies call "craft services" and rock concerts call "catering."
Punk Pusher — Supervisor of the work crew.
Rat Sheets — Advance posters or handbills with negative claims about the opposition.

Poli ticks

Red Lighted — A method of getting rid of you: the owner departs without paying while you're not looking (all you see when trying to pick up your check is red lights disappearing down the road); or tells you to meet the circus somewhere, but the circus goes somewhere else; some sources even use this word to mean that an unpopular person is thrown from the back of a moving vehicle. Also "Oil Spotted," the moment when there's just you and the oily stains where the bus used to be.
(to) See the Elephant — The circus origin of this phrase is obvious. It passed into general popular usage about 1835 meaning "to have seen everything there is to see in the world," and shortly thereafter it took on the added meaning "to lose your innocence and learn a humbling or embarrassing lesson." Among the military it has come to mean "to experience combat for the first time." Even Tolkien's Lord of the Rings makes a sly reference to it, as Sam Gamgee, out in the wide world among amazing things, remarks on finally having seen an "oliphaunt."

Rat sheets workin'.
Avoid a Brodie!

Stake Bites — The ankle wounds inflicted by the heads of metal stakes that you walk into while crossing the lot in the dark.
Tack Spitter — Banner man or bill poster.
Toby News — Circus-lot gossip, from the european/gypsy "tober," meaning campsite.
Windy Van Hooten's — Name of the mythical "perfect circus" imagined by performers and crew, where everything is wonderful and everyone gets the money, respect and working conditions they deserve, plus some.